Has anyone ever comtemplated suicide for this reason?

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YippySkippy
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12 Sep 2012, 12:06 pm

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I want to be loved by a beautiful woman.


So much for unconditional love.



donnie_darko
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12 Sep 2012, 12:11 pm

YippySkippy wrote:
Quote:
I want to be loved by a beautiful woman.


So much for unconditional love.


I didn't necessarily mean physically.



TM
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12 Sep 2012, 12:49 pm

donnie_darko wrote:
YippySkippy wrote:
Quote:
I want to be loved by a beautiful woman.


So much for unconditional love.


I didn't necessarily mean physically.


Still not unconditional. "Unconditional" literally means "with no conditions" it means you'd have to love her regardless of her looks, personality or any other characteristic and also place no demands what so ever on her. Hence why I said it was irrational and somewhat selfish.



Hopper
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12 Sep 2012, 12:50 pm

donnie_darko wrote:
YippySkippy wrote:
Quote:
I want to be loved by a beautiful woman.


So much for unconditional love.


I didn't necessarily mean physically.


But there's still a condition to it. I mean, I'm assuming a certain decency on your part, that you'll be loving this woman back.

Having read more of your thoughts here, I don't think you're in a position to take it as a personal affront that the world is as you see it. I don't think it's fair to expect of others what you yourself cannot - really, will not - do.

I think people do care about larger things - I really don't speak to many people irl, but those I am able to get into conversations with do care. I think they feel an impotent confusion and anger, though.

And what's with that entitlement thing that seems to infect a lot of young men here?



Giftorcurse
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12 Sep 2012, 12:55 pm

Donnie boy, you are not alone. I, myself, have had some subpar experiences with human beings in my eighteen years of existence, but at the same time, the opposite is true.


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MDD123
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12 Sep 2012, 1:40 pm

Have there been any movies about unconditional love? My concept of love comes mainly from movies, so I'd be interested to hear what they have to say.



AceOfSpades
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12 Sep 2012, 1:58 pm

Hopper wrote:
Not for the reason(s) you give, no.

There's a lot of kindness out there. It just doesn't stand out so much. Sort of related - watch the news, and it's likely bad news. This is because stuff working out how most people expect isn't newsworthy. Even - hell, especially - the most cynical rely unknowingly on an essential decency of most people.

How are people at large irrational? I mean, people across the board and around the world do stuff I don't see the appeal in, but I don't think them irrational.
Ironically words like "irrational" tend to be nothing more than glittering generalities. I think we vastly overestimate how rational we really are since we're just good at manifesting our primal tendencies under the thin veneer of being "civilized".



MindBlind
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12 Sep 2012, 2:17 pm

donnie_darko wrote:
Coming to the conclusion that humans are selfish, irrational beings, and unconditional and true love can't be found in this world, thus life isn't really worth it?

I struggle with this. :(


No, not really. I mean, I have come to similar conclusions about humanity but it's never made me want to kill myself. I don't think being irrational and selfish are unforgivably bad traits. Also, of course unconditional love exists. Oxytocin, man.



Hopper
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12 Sep 2012, 2:44 pm

AceOfSpades wrote:
Ironically words like "irrational" tend to be nothing more than glittering generalities. I think we vastly overestimate how rational we really are since we're just good at manifesting our primal tendencies under the thin veneer of being "civilized".


Quite. It both disturbs and annoys me to see people dismissed as 'irrational', or (as I recall you starting a thread on) people considering themselves more 'logical'. All thinking is a mixture of feeling and reason.



Kurgan
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12 Sep 2012, 2:46 pm

donnie_darko wrote:
Coming to the conclusion that humans are selfish, irrational beings, and unconditional and true love can't be found in this world, thus life isn't really worth it?

I struggle with this. :(


If you're going through hell, keep going.—Winston Churchill



techstepgenr8tion
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12 Sep 2012, 6:13 pm

donnie_darko wrote:
Coming to the conclusion that humans are selfish, irrational beings, and unconditional and true love can't be found in this world, thus life isn't really worth it?

I'd phrase it a little differently.

My feeling was that people hated making sense, hated practicality, and even treated those who wanted to make the most sense as weak, inferior, etc. because we create unneeded complexity for the sake of re-creating social pecking order and keeping those who get tired too fast of that in a second class citizen level where they either by society's standards don't have a right to procreate or simply will never have a right to be themselves without paying the price.

My sense from that point was that this flat out wasn't my kind of world, having a disability just spelled it out in brass tacks that the negative outweighed the positive and, rather dispassionately, it meant that there was no reason for going concern. At other times I'd have a much more heated reaction where I fantasized about Japanese honor suicide for my weakness - not because I'm some kind of psychopath, I just had that many people pounding me from that angle relentlessly to where I felt like I'd either die that way or being murdered by someone who was literally that disgusted by seeing someone as 'weak' as myself breathing.



SpiritBlooms
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13 Sep 2012, 1:10 pm

donnie_darko wrote:
SpiritBlooms wrote:
donnie_darko wrote:
Coming to the conclusion that humans are selfish, irrational beings, and unconditional and true love can't be found in this world, thus life isn't really worth it?

I struggle with this. :(

The purpose and challenge of this life, IMO, is not to find the best qualities in others but to find them in oneself.


But I don't want to be loved by myself, I want to be loved by a beautiful woman. That's all I ask really. Oh yeah and for a job I don't hate and maybe to make a positive influence on the world. =]

Because you can love yourself, that's great and stuff, but you're still lonely in the end. I think this 'love yourself' crap is pretty stupid in some ways anyways. This idea that #1 is all that matters, it's like promoting narcissism, not that you couldn't have high self-esteem but I don't really believe that loving yourself is essential to loving others.

On the contrary, people who love and accept themselves become more attractive to others. When I say loving oneself I mean understanding and accepting oneself, it's not about thinking you're perfect or fluffy new age crap. But it's also not something a lot of people get interested in until they become more introspective with middle age. Romantic love has a funny way of happening when you're already somewhat happy, it's not a cure for unhappiness. It's not anyone else's place in life to make you happy. That beautiful woman wants to be with someone who is whole and complete before she meets him, not someone who needs her to complete him.



DC
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13 Sep 2012, 1:31 pm

donnie_darko wrote:
Coming to the conclusion that humans are selfish, irrational beings, and unconditional and true love can't be found in this world, thus life isn't really worth it?

I struggle with this. :(


Yes.

The first bit absolutely true every, single being ever born was a selfish, irrational being.

But.

The second bit is false. I am a broke unemployed depressed cripple and I found unconditional true love so there is hope for you yet.