One man’s experience of a female stalker

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I think it is important to point out that the thread is about a man's experience of stalking.

Obviously that might feed into a more male-oriented experience for the background context of the thread.

I am sure if there was a woman's thread of a woman's experience of a male stalker, the thread might be more obviously catered to women.

I didn't mean for the thread to be sexist or anything.

As Isabella pointed out, there are seemingly even better/more scholarly threads on abuse which she has linked to.

I think you are assuming a lot here based on the other thread.

In the thread you are referring to, there were dozens of comments by different members (the satire thread for anyone wondering). You don't know which comment I had in mind when interpreting misandry - you might have even concluded that I considered all of the thread to be misandrist (which isn't true).

When women talk about abuse in other threads, they don’t seem to claim that male victims have it easier. I don’t have a problem as long as we all recognize that all victims experience stigma. It might be of a different nature, but it hinders reporting and getting support for everyone nonetheless. I’m not saying that fewer men don’t report when I say that, but many women don’t either because of shame, victim-blaming, lack of support, and stuff like that.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 27 Apr 2024, 8:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

^^ Where in this thread has a woman been called misandrist?

Misandry was mentioned in the satire thread... have I missed something in this thread?

Last edited by blitzkrieg on 27 Apr 2024, 8:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

I take your point about all genders being possible victims. I don't think anyone would challenge that notion.

That’s not the meaning I was trying to get across in my post. It was that all victims experience stigma.

I agree that all victims experience stigma.

I'm not triggered at all. I'm just stating the facts here. I gave a few resources for men who experience domestic violence, and I want men to know they're not alone because women care and won't shame them.

I wish it were always the same in reverse. Unfortunately, when women discuss abuse or refer to themselves as "victims", they're often labelled as man-haters or accused of having an ulterior political motive. This simply isn't the case.

Victimhood isn't a contest. There are no winners or losers on this site or in a court of law.

Women on WP have demonstrated empathy for men's issues time and again, only to be dismissed and devalued when they dare to seek empathy for themselves.

The article about a female stalker seems to have been used to prove a point that women aren't trustworthy or that they sometimes frame innocent men. I could be wrong, however. If this is the case, the motivation for this thread would be a disingenuous attempt at baiting women to reply, and calling them misandrist for saying they can relate.

I used to have stalking issues when I was younger. I obviously didn't understand that was what I was doing but I think that whoever was on the other side of my problem (male or female) must have felt pretty intimidated. Stalking is a crime of violence imo and ought to be treated as such

I was also in an extremely volatile and violent relationship for many years where I became the worst possible version of myself. The violence was on both sides. There are no winners in violent relationships

I think men and women deal with these types of things very differently and I think female to male violence is extremely under reported

Nobody has called anyone a misandrist in this thread.

Can you provide evidence of your claim? Unless I'm having a really bad memory day, I don't recall anyone using the word misandrist in the thread we are posting in now.

Also, an unspecified comment from a person where they say in that other thread (I paraphrase here) "there seems to be some overtones of misandry in this thread" - doesn't mean that everyone in that thread stands accused of being a misandrist.

I didn't foresee that people would be thinking about that thread in this thread, but I guess maybe that was a blind spot on my part.

This thread is just a thread about female stalking, it wasn't aimed at anybody in particular on this forum.

I have personal experience of being trolled/stalked by a female (online) and I have mentioned elsewhere on the forum that I had a former friend who was stalked also (in-person) by a female, so I have an interest in this topic.

Not every motivation is somehow conspiring against the (alleged) misandrists!

Sometimes the implication is there without the actual word being used. Just like claiming that people are feather brained is similar to calling them stupid.

Thank you for sharing BB.

I don't judge you for your history. I value you as a member of this forum.

!	Cornflake wrote:
	Please keep to the topic. This thread is collapsing into an argument involving side-issues that are not part of the - quite specific - OP.

To be honest I think that if more people stood up and admitted they had a problem then the world would have less problems in it....if you get my meaning

Yes, that's a good example.

There's an overtone that female "feminists" don't care about men's issues because they can't possibly relate.
If they do relate, the suggestion is that they see gender-based crime as a women's issue alone.
Catch 22.

The idea that women / feminists don't understand is germane to the topic of the OP.

A former female member of this site used to accuse me of this all the time. She was wrong

Anyway I have very little to add to this thread so I'm oot