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Outrider
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31 May 2015, 3:29 am

Alright, I've read some of the other posts, here's what I have to say. Do hope it's not too long:

Yes, in high school, young teenage girls tend to be attracted to older boys and males. These older boys most often use or take advantage of the younger girl; and even if they do not it is not a socially appropriate relationship.

I hate to sound cruel right now, but in my honest opinion, the way I see it, people should be allowed to make their own choices in life.

If young teenage girls are stupidly choosing to date older males who will only take advantage of her, than she is responsible for her own actions. It's her own dåmn fault and I believe she deserves no sympathy.

I would not choose to be attracted to such a girl because she is clearly too stupid and naive that she makes such foolish choices.

You need to find a smart girl who can choose to associate herself with the right people. A smart girl will be your girlfriend if you avoid the ones that go after the a55holes and pick one smart enough to choose a 'good' guy like you.

However, saying all this makes me sound arrogant and self-righteous, along with also sounding cruel and heartless. It is cruel of me to believe that if a nice girl is used by an a55hole than she should suffer the consequences for her bad choices.

This is just my honest opinion and yes I am well aware it makes me sound arrogant and heartless.

This is me seeing it in a negative and pessimistic way. I will now give my optimistic and more positive view. I don't always have one opinion of something, I have an optimistic version, a neutral version, and a negative version.

Here is my optimistic opinion:

However, I also try to be understanding, compassionate and empathetic.

The truth is a young girl or woman is NOT stupid just because they have chosen the wrong male. Many older males are good at tricking or manipulating younger females. She very well might think he is a 'nice guy' when he turns out to be an a55hole in disguise. If this happens, then I feel sorry for the poor girl who has been used by this disgusting male.

And, even if he was an a55hole but she just couldn't see it, we need to understand that she is only young. Teenagers, both male and female can be naive or foolish and make bad choices simply due to inexperience. As women and males also get older we are better able to recognize trouble from a mile away instead of opening our hearts to someone who will only bring harm to us.

DailyPoutine, you have to stop thinking the way you are. This whole 'knight' attitude who wants to protect these females from the 'bad males' thing is counter-productive. Also the wish for them to die and feeling entitled to a female is all bad.

My advice is to pick one of my opinions, the optimistic one or the pessimistic one.

Many people, including myself, would recommend the optimistic one; but if you REALLY cannot do that, then please AT LEAST choose the pessimistic and negative opinion.

The optimistic one is that while you should feel sympathy for any girls you are friends with who get used by an a55hole boyfriend, you shouldn't go so far to be a 'knight' or 'protector' because it's HER life, not yours and none of your business. Provide support for the girls at your school and be a friend in need but nothing more.

The pessimistic one is to avoid and stay away from these girls entirely because they are too 'stupid' to see they are going after the wrong guys, and instead you should focus on making friends with and maybe even dating the 'smart' girls who can see you as a 'good' guy and a nice person...



Sum
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31 May 2015, 3:46 am

Outrider wrote:
Alright, I've read some of the other posts, here's what I have to say. Do hope it's not too long:

Yes, in high school, young teenage girls tend to be attracted to older boys and males. These older boys most often use or take advantage of the younger girl; and even if they do not it is not a socially appropriate relationship.

I hate to sound cruel right now, but in my honest opinion, the way I see it, people should be allowed to make their own choices in life.

If young teenage girls are stupidly choosing to date older males who will only take advantage of her, than she is responsible for her own actions. It's her own dåmn fault and I believe she deserves no sympathy.

I would not choose to be attracted to such a girl because she is clearly too stupid and naive that she makes such foolish choices.

You need to find a smart girl who can choose to associate herself with the right people. A smart girl will be your girlfriend if you avoid the ones that go after the a55holes and pick one smart enough to choose a 'good' guy like you.

However, saying all this makes me sound arrogant and self-righteous, along with also sounding cruel and heartless. It is cruel of me to believe that if a nice girl is used by an a55hole than she should suffer the consequences for her bad choices.

This is just my honest opinion and yes I am well aware it makes me sound arrogant and heartless.

This is me seeing it in a negative and pessimistic way. I will now give my optimistic and more positive view. I don't always have one opinion of something, I have an optimistic version, a neutral version, and a negative version.

Here is my optimistic opinion:

However, I also try to be understanding, compassionate and empathetic.

The truth is a young girl or woman is NOT stupid just because they have chosen the wrong male. Many older males are good at tricking or manipulating younger females. She very well might think he is a 'nice guy' when he turns out to be an a55hole in disguise. If this happens, then I feel sorry for the poor girl who has been used by this disgusting male.

And, even if he was an a55hole but she just couldn't see it, we need to understand that she is only young. Teenagers, both male and female can be naive or foolish and make bad choices simply due to inexperience. As women and males also get older we are better able to recognize trouble from a mile away instead of opening our hearts to someone who will only bring harm to us.

DailyPoutine, you have to stop thinking the way you are. This whole 'knight' attitude who wants to protect these females from the 'bad males' thing is counter-productive. Also the wish for them to die and feeling entitled to a female is all bad.

My advice is to pick one of my opinions, the optimistic one or the pessimistic one.

Many people, including myself, would recommend the optimistic one; but if you REALLY cannot do that, then please AT LEAST choose the pessimistic and negative opinion.

The optimistic one is that while you should feel sympathy for any girls you are friends with who get used by an a55hole boyfriend, you shouldn't go so far to be a 'knight' or 'protector' because it's HER life, not yours and none of your business. Provide support for the girls at your school and be a friend in need but nothing more.

The pessimistic one is to avoid and stay away from these girls entirely because they are too 'stupid' to see they are going after the wrong guys, and instead you should focus on making friends with and maybe even dating the 'smart' girls who can see you as a 'good' guy and a nice person...


^^^^ I was going to post something on a similar note but with a lot more lampooning.....I somehow exited out of the tab about 3/4's the way done and decided not to type it again. However, Outrider, said it quite nicely.



Outrider
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31 May 2015, 6:14 am

The problem is DailyPoutine is being an extremist on both ends of the scale.

Either he is full of hate and wants them to die, or he wants to be a knight/protector type.

He needs to find balance.

If he's going to hate older males and the females who go after them, then he needs to simply ignore and avoid them and live his life while secretly hating them inside. And he should not laugh at their misfortune but certainly not give them any sympathy.

If he's going to care for them and protect them he needs to simply be a good friend and support them when times get tough instead of going so far as to control them and possess/claim them as his own just to 'protect' them.

I definitely believe the things DailyPoutine have said are absolutely awful and immature and downright immoral, but I still think there's some level of hope for him.

I can relate because I have been there. Definitely not as extreme as he is, but I've nonetheless experienced it - the bitterness, the rejection, the jealousy, the inferiority complex, the entitlement. Looking at nice girls with 'a55holes' and wondering why I haven't had a gf up to this point while they seem to find it so easy...

Sometimes I still exeperience it - the anger, the hate consumes me.

But I've matured, learned, grown, etc.

To put it simple I somewhat felt similar at his age, but grew out of it...he can too, he's only young...

I'm not saying you shouldn't criticize him or what he says either - if you want to, than that is your choice. I am not supporting or opposing it.

Sometimes harsh criticism can of course be GOOD and BENEFICIAL. Sometimes instead of sugar coating things you need to be honest and clear with someone. The truth hurts.

I will choose to try and be calm and constructively criticize him, though.



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31 May 2015, 6:24 am

Outrider wrote:
The problem is DailyPoutine is being an extremist on both ends of the scale.

Either he is full of hate and wants them to die

I meant that the guys doing this deserve to die.



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31 May 2015, 7:42 am

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
Outrider wrote:
The problem is DailyPoutine is being an extremist on both ends of the scale.

Either he is full of hate and wants them to die

I meant that the guys doing this deserve to die.


Okay but even so this is still too much.

I have also felt similar feelings though feelings of anger towards these males pure hate really I remember last year 11th grade the 12th grade males were a55holes speeding their car up the street with their younger girls acting like arrogant big shots etc. but I never wished death on them.

That was my positive opinion.

Now for my negative one:

I agree, a55holes who use younger girls and take advantage of them deserve a f*cking beating. Some of them go so far as to do all kinds of horrible things like drugging them, getting them drunk and all that other unmentionable stuff.

I would fight and/or kill a male who ever did bad things to a girl younger if I am near them.

I would stand up for a bullied female.

However I still choose to avoid them and live my own life.

Think of it this way - don't be a big hero and LOOK for females to protect like a knight. Don't ever try and find trouble, just live your life.

But let trouble come to YOU.

Just avoid trouble and live your life but if it comes to you than make it f*ck off.

Okay, let's give some actual real life examples instead of just talking.

Let's say you meet a nice girl at school, get a crush on her and try and be her boyfriend. She says you're a nice guy but only wants to be friends.

A few months later she likes this older a55hole and ends up dating him.

Be her friend and support her. If he bullies/abuses her than suggest she get help, listen to her problems, tell other friends about it, tell her she should tell teachers/parents/adults that can help, etc.

If things are a little rough than be there to care for her and support her.

But, if things are REALLY bad, than TAKE ACTION.

If one day he comes up to her and starts physically touching her against her will, tell him to get off her and that she clearly is telling him to stop and saying no.

If he ever hits her, you fricken kill him. Not literally, but you know what I mean...

It's just by what your other posts say it seems like you want to seek danger and be a hero so that girls will like you because you protected them from the big mean bullies.

That's not a good or healthy choice either.

Just keep going to school and live your life.

Try to make friends with people, both boys and girls.

And if you have a crush on a girl that's great, talk to her and try to ask her out. :)

Take all other advice on this thread - make sure you are crushing on the smart girls and not the 'stupid' ones.

Be a good person and treat others right.

If you end up being friends with or liking a girl that likes the older a55hole guys, don't be a knight that doesn't mind his own business. Just live life and mind your own business but if trouble ever comes to you, than that is when you can be a true friend and make someone's life better...

All this stuff is a slow process though and will take years to develop, so be patient and just work hard for improvement everyday...



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31 May 2015, 7:48 am

Outrider wrote:
Be her friend and support her. If he bullies/abuses her than suggest she get help, listen to her problems, tell other friends about it, tell her she should tell teachers/parents/adults that can help, etc.
Why would I try to help someone who got in problem by herself and abandoned me?



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31 May 2015, 8:21 am

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
Outrider wrote:
Be her friend and support her. If he bullies/abuses her than suggest she get help, listen to her problems, tell other friends about it, tell her she should tell teachers/parents/adults that can help, etc.
Why would I try to help someone who got in problem by herself and abandoned me?


*sigh* then pick the second option.

Give them no sympathy and focus on finding the 'smart' girls and the right people.

I don't want to go in circles with this. I've said everything I felt I had to say and more, it's up to you to decide if you will follow my advice.

You don't have to follow ALL of it either.

If there's a couple of good ideas I've said that you can follow then go ahead but not the rest if you don't want to...



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31 May 2015, 10:31 am

@DailyPoutine1: I once said that you seemed more mature than your stated age. Please don't prove me wrong. You've received a lot of great advice. Now it's up you on how you handle your situation. This is what worked for me ...

Set achievable goals. Graduating high school is an achievable goal. Staying out of trouble is another. Getting a part-time job, while difficult, may be more achievable than convincing girls your age that you are date-worthy.

Take responsibility for your own actions. This means that you admit that your actions are the result of your choices, and that no one else is to blame. It also means that the actions of other people are not your fault, and that you are not responsible for the actions they take, nor for the consequences thereof.

Stop focusing on the social lives of others. At your age, I had similar issues. Couples coupling all around me, and no one interested in me at all. After my sophomore year, I resolved to focus on my studies, graduate, and take the first offer from any 4-year institution in another state. Once there, I found that although my problems were still with me, there were lots of other people at uni with similar problems. Just knowing this one, simple fact made me feel better about myself - I was no longer THE "weird kid" in school, but just one of many kids who behaved oddly.

Stop asking "why?", unless it's about a class topic. "Why are people so mean?" is not a class topic. "Why was the Magna Carta signed?" is a class topic. Focus on your studies, and become the kind of person that others who struggle with their own studies come to for help.

Take up some form of artistic expression. Music is always a good choice. So is drawing or painting. Acting is okay too, if you can handle the stress. I found peace in playing music, and writing short stories and AD&D adventures.

Speaking of AD&D, it (and other table-top role-playing games) are great for relieving stress. You also get to socialize with like-minded people (if you like AD&D, that is). In any case, try to find a social group where you do fit in. Mine was the "Library Geeks" - kids who hung around the school library and who liked to read.

Find some physical activity to channel your anger into. For me, it was bicycling. During summer breaks, I could bicycle up to 20 miles a day. Others find jogging helpful. Shooting hoops in the driveway ... lifting weights in the garage ... anything that gets your heart pumping and your muscles aching, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

Finally, stop making excuses! Saying that you can't do something before you even try doing it is the worst excuse possible. If you are physically unable to do something, that's one thing - no one expects a paraplegic to run a cross-country marathon, after all. If you are physically capable, then make the effort and just do it! Do your personal best, and ignore those who stand on the sidelines and try to discourage you. Show them what you can do and prove them wrong!

You have great potential, kid. Don't blow it!



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31 May 2015, 5:02 pm

I agree with Fnord.

All of his advice is true and in fact most to all of it is what I did.

I began exercising everyday to release that anger and energy, took up music and writing, focus on my studying more, stop worrying about other people, made friends, etc.

The thing is I do see a bit of myself in you DailyPoutine, which is why me and others here can see that you are still only young and can be steered down the right path. but ultimately it is your choice. Make sure you don't make a choice you (and us) would regret.



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07 Jun 2015, 10:59 am

Well, you have three groups: boys, girls and male/female autistics.
Autistics are smarter because they know its not about boys and girls.



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07 Jun 2015, 11:01 am

Fnord wrote:
I call bullsnot,

I am gonna have to start saying that.



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07 Jun 2015, 11:03 am

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
DailyPoutine1 wrote:
Anyways, why can't we just be assigned to one person at birth? The love would develop with age and everyone would be happy. I don't wanna have to target these dumb 12 year olds...
What if that one person dies before marriageable (or even dateable) age?

Dating younger/older people is not a bad thing, unless only one of the people is a legal adult, then that whole "Statutory Rape" thing kicks in ...

When I see all the posts on facebook of girls I used to think were pretty and innocent being "in couple" with "handsome" 16-17 year olds just because they're stronger I just want to rip the guys insides with steel claws and throw his corpse under a train.

I think I have found a picture of you:
Image



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07 Jun 2015, 11:06 am

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Those kids might not be telling the truth.

Kids frequently lie about their sexual exploits.

You know tehy're not lying when they post screenshots of it all over facebook and they get deleted by moderators 5 minutes later..

People moderate Facebook?



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07 Jun 2015, 11:06 am

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
This is so discouraging girl always treat me like I'm some sort of ret*d kid just because I don't have social skills. How am I supposed to do the first step when all I get is others laughing. I really hate this world why can't all of them die.

Yes, DailyPoutine1, let the rage flow through you.



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07 Jun 2015, 11:15 am

One day you will end up turning into a player™ yourself. Don't forget that it's for reasons that you're better than those other guys & that the girls you decide to go after are better off losing their virginities to you rather than their boyfriends™ who are too abusive to ladies to actually be worthy of one.

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
I don't know how this is true in any way; they only get fooled into having there virginity stolen by some player 3-4 years older than them. Like really? You call yourself mature when the only thing you can do is being a d*ckbag and making the guys your age deprivated from pleasure? Gg. Sorry if this turned into a rant, but I had to tell my feelings.


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07 Jun 2015, 11:26 am

Aristophanes wrote:
DailyPoutine1 wrote:
But seriously why do they go with older people its disgusting they're only being manipulated by these predators who should be punished!


Because they're following the burning desire in their pants, not the reasoning in their heads-- you'll find that most people between ~13-25 follow this approach. My question is why would you want to be with someone that is oblivious to the fact they're being manipulated? They sound like low hanging fruit to me.

I feel like this describes me.