If I PM someone, I only get 2 to 3 PMs before they stop...

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I really don't get this and it actually annoys me beyond belief.

No matter what, males or females...they ALWAYS do the same thing.

I even asked a few why the sudden drop, but I don't think I get an excusable answer.

I've had "I thought we were going to change topics?" and stuff, but you change the topic IN THE PM!

What is it with 90% of the WP userbase being so hard to communicate with? Even when they offer to PM you, it never lasts...which is why I have given up on this site...it's the same thing time and time again where you have an initial good feeling that they may talk for quite awhile before you get a sudden halt in the PMs.

I always respond to members no matter what, and I was guessing that Aspies actually make more of an effort with PMs over meeting up/telephone calls....but no.

I have to wonder if Aspies are serious when they moan about having no friends and little online friends when they are THIS picky. Yes, I do moan, but I never cut off people when they talk to me and make an excuse.

I'll tell you one where I was pretty shocked about the response as it really made me wonder if this particular person was joking.

Basically, we talked for awhile, but I responded with answers as I had little interest in politics. So one day, I was told never to speak to him again because I asked why the sudden drop, so I get a "You have no personality" and "You are demanding"....wait....how can I be both? Then I get a "You must understand why you may not have may friends"....excuse me? I actually do have friends in the real world....so that assumption is not only wrong, but very offensive. Then finally I was cut off from that PM saying "No one here would talk to you"....hahahaha....wow....now if I took that seriously, that would have taken me aback....but oh wait....it's because I wasn't INTERESTED in his topic!

Okay, now that the dirty laundry is out there (and this person has a VERY high post count, so is well known), I want to highlight everything wrong in that particular PM:

1) Just because I am not interested in your extreme topics, doesn't mean that I am ignorant of what you were talking about...I took it in and let you know before hand that I was NEVER interested in Politics.

2) Telling me you would like to meet me and THEN going back on it all in the worst way possible doesn't help you make friends....online OR in the real world.

3) As for me not being interesting, I told you I played in a Steel Orchestra.....I am currently learning Spanish...I told you of my interests in food. etc....Now tell me...

I am uninteresting because I have no political side I am on? That's very narrow minded, even for an Aspie.

4) I have since talked to many people online AND in the real world...so your sentence became moot, and probably a response to your own life and mentality. To top it all off, I have heard some stories where you were cold with people when you tried it on with them.

5) Demanding because I asked you why you dropped off? Gee...that is what FRIENDS do! Of course, you wouldn't know that would you? I was being sincere....but now I am being malicious.

6) I have to finally say that despite your high post count and pretty much are known by most members here...it doesn't make you popular when you have all of this Jekyll/Hyde personality going on via PMs but are as nice as pie in threads.

If this came out to offend, it actually was....and it was mostly due to an example of the worse PM I have ever obtained here. The rest aren't so bad....but wow...really? The PM system may as well be abolished if most members here aren't interested after a few PMs....are you REALLY that picky of each other? No wonder NTs find us undesirable in relationships AND friendships....we want friends but like isolation also? We can't have both....so do something about it, or don't complain.

I will apologise for the rant, but I feel like I have given up here due to this...this will likely be my last post due to:

1) Fed up of the internet in general
2) Likely getting banned
3) Not taking crap anymore...seriously, if people really are fickle about making friends but not making an effort...then I really don't see why you have the right to complain.

we're autistics-socialization and socializing is a major problem. i get the same and do the same. we meltdown and vanish off the face of the earth. and eventhough a lot of aspies are intelligent we are blind mostly to our own "short-comings".

pm me if you have the stomach.

regards

"What is it with 90% of the WP userbase being so hard to communicate with?"

Really?? So even here we're supposed to conform to someone else's unrealistic ideals as to how to communicate? If we're gonna be judged here on how well we communicate, we might as well go talk to people in a bar or something...

With autism, we tend to only talk about what we are into and find the rest boring. I like getting PMs here and talking to people. I may not always respond but I am most likely to when someone asks a question. I can talk about anything just as long as I am interested. I am also a listener. I will hear someone talk about anything no matter how boring I find it just as long as it's not all the time about the same thing and they talk about other things too. But not everyone likes this unfortunately. It's as if me listening to them talk about what they want to talk about isn't good enough. Few of my former aspie friends have complained about it and my husband told me the same. He said he can't even have a normal conversation with me unless it's my interest. People probably don't realize how hard it is for me and how much energy it takes and I don't always want to do it. Ever try writing a story and you get a writer's block? Same thing with talking, chatters block I shall call it and then to sit here and think what to say to it is exhausting. I may do it for a few minutes and then I am done and that still may not be good enough for someone. But this makes me a crappy friend to some folks. At least it doesn't bother my husband.


Also don't come here for friends and to talk in PMs, come here for the sake of posting and reading posts. That is what I do. I don't view anyone as my friend if we talk in PM because I always lose them anyway and the conversation dies off. I am guilty of it myself because I don't always respond because I had nothing to say to it. I assume this is the case for others.

You seem to be the kind of person to wants the PM chat to go on forever never quitting. How many PMs do you expect before you find it okay for them to halt?

How quickly do you expect PM responses? I and many I've spoken to have been guilty of putting it off a while due to having a life away from WP.

If there's any advice I can give, it's to not assume that the large majority of us do not care or respond or whatever. 90%? That means you've tried talking to 63,000 people already?

Still, we're individuals and the recipients comments were a bit harsh.

Is it next Saturday we're meeting up, Ten?

I don't think this is necessarily the thread to discuss that, Teq

I don't like to keep up forever and ever pms, because reading and responding to pms is too time- and effort-ful. I also don't complain about lack of social life, because I don't want to socialize. Frequent back and forth socializing online or offline is an nt thing that I can't maintain.

Sure - there's still a lot though.

The point being that there are a lot of individuals who are all different here, and I'd suggest against giving up trying personally.

Okay, seriously? This is just ridiculous...

That's totally normal for PM's to die off. It happens with everyone. In every website.

I don't know what the hell is going on between you and the people you're complaining about, but this is ridiculous. They have every right to not contact you. You are not obligated to have them respond to you. If they want to end the discussion, they can do that.

And, sorry, but that's kind of sh***y of you to assume that aspies "put more effort" into organizing trips and meeting strangers from the internet. Maybe they're creeped out by the idea, like anyone else would be. Or maybe they have their own lives and are busy or heaven forbid that they're too anxious to do too much socializing. Maybe, just maybe, they have to put so much effort into other aspects of their life that some stranger on wrongplanet is the last thing on their mind. Wrongplanet is a place for people to be themselves.

And so what if they like to contribute to the threads more than PM's? Threads already have topics and they don't have to respond to them if they don't want to. Plus, it's none of your business what they do.

Sorry to be harsh, but just get some perspective.

Regardless of who's "right" or "wrong" in this situation, this is still extraordinarily passive-agressive, and fairly judgemental to boot. I'm sorry you feel that way, but your reaction isn't really very appropriate, and would probably be best relegated to PMs.

In my experience, PMs are better off being short and concise. Long PMs can be a chore to respond to, especially if you have to deal with so many at a time from different members.

The thing with long PMs is that I'm expected by my correspondent to respond to it regardless, and when I don't do so (out of lack of motivation or interest), or even if I reply back with a relatively short message, the other person may often take it personally and think I just don't like her, but that's often not the case and it's just the way it goes at times. Even in public, I sometimes ignore long posts directed to me or post back with something short. But the difference is in public, people don't take it as personally as in private.