"She just wants attention."

Post Reply New Topic

Being a female aspie and aspie in general is tough. I was diagnosed when I was 14 but I have dealt with a lot of depression in my adult years. Because of my intense moods, I have been told by a counselor that I may have borderline personality disorder. My doctor has told me before that I don't, but I hate that someone I trusted is trying to push a diagnoses that I don't agree with. I feel like that disorder does not fit me at all. I feel like she is ignoring my main issue. I am lonely and depressed and cannot make friends. I do not have intense, unstable relationships like someone with borderline personality disorder. I just do not know how to make friends. Life has been very lonely for me. I am very introverted but I do want interaction with others.

I've been accused before of just wanting attention. I've been misunderstood and ignored. I want help with Asperger's but I cannot find a specialist in my area who treats adults. Being an adult female makes it hard to find a doctor who wants to focus on my Asperger's symptoms. I've been told by a doctor before that Asperger's is over diagnosed and probably hardly any females have it.

I just needed to put my thoughts into words in a place I can trust. It's okay if no one responds. I just remember Wrongplanet being a safe place for me when I was a teenager and being bullied at school and stuff. I think I might start spending more time here again.

I feel you. When I got bullied and reacted to it I was also accused of begging for attention. Don't bother with therapists though, they are useless. If you want to talk, talk to a relative or a friend(if you somehow manage to make one). That is much more helpful.

Sorry to hear your are feeling misunderstood. Other than being a male, I can relate to much of what you say. I just cancelled on my fourth therapist because she meant well but only told me things I already knew. Seems the BPD label seems to be slapped on any emotional woman. I have plenty of experience with a BPD ex and other than the surface symptoms they are NOTHING alike. I finally think I found someone who knows a lot about adult autism but it s obscenely expensive and she refuses to diagnose without my parents and that is not happening.

I am been accused of wanting attention and that is so off the mark it is laughable. All I have ever wanted in life is to be understood and that's why I returned here after retiring. For what it's worth, my Fiancee shows Aspie-signs and a couple of cousin's children (girls) on her side have been diagnosed with Autism so maybe people are finally getting this isn't a 'extreme male' problem. In fact I relate more than women than men.

I think the biggest sign I have Aspergers/Autism is that I can relate so well to the folks here.

Last edited by GiantHockeyFan on 15 Dec 2015, 10:43 am, edited 2 times in total.

If you disagree with what they are saying see someone else and get another opinion I don't trust em my self. Sorry to hear about the depression I get bouts of it but I tend to withdraw doesn't help when getting to know people as they don't understand or back off I mainly have *acquaintances*, can count people I consider friends on one hand but we don't talk much.

Everyone seems nice on here so far not been on long myself so not really got to know anyone.

What's funny is that for a women I'm not really that emotional. It's just that my depression and anxiety issues make me seem a bit that way sometimes. I've noticed that when my meds are regulated I tend to be more stable.

I have a female cousin who definitely has Asperger's but refuses to accept the diagnoses. I think she's been evaluated but kind of denied the label. I know that women can certainly have AS but are sometimes over looked because we tend to try to hide it. We are socially conditioned to be more agreeable than men which can result in a life of basically faking it.

I appreciate all the responses.

I am kind of legally obligated to go to these appointments for now. I won't bother explaining what happened but I'm not a criminal or anything. Once I no longer have to go I'm considering ending services with this place. I kind of want to go because some of the medications help but I also don't want to have to go through the therapy side of it with someone who is biased towards me.

It's funny because I've always heard that you cannot have BPD and Asperger's at the same time but my therapist is saying that you can. She thinks I have both. Asperger's is now just Autism by the way. If you're in the US, we're using the DSM V. We're calling it the autism spectrum now which they were already doing in most countries. That may be why I'm no longer receiving the AS diagnoses.

I was also forced to go to therapy because of my violent tendencies that were a result of bullying.

Being bullied in school has affected me even into adulthood. No one really advocated for me like they should have. Sometimes people didn't even believe me.

I completely relate.

I think the reason for women getting these borderline disorder diagnoses way more often than men do (!) is the historical view of woman both in psychology and in general - as an emotionally unstable and hysteric being. Men represent reason, whereas women emotions.

If you have trouble getting friends, a cognitive approach may help you a lot more than a psychoanalyzing one.

Bullying, rejection and people treating you badly can lead to strong emotional reactions, because the feeling of injustice and unworth is so strong. When that happens I try to (sometimes succesfully and sometimes not so) to verbalize what is happening. For example: I am hurt and thus I feel anger, for this person hurt me. I can't make that person's decisions. But I can make mine. And then I destract my focus on to numbers, texture, lines of words or whatever.

This is true. I think I am capable of both reason and emotions. I'm certainly not hysterical (well, I'm funny but you know, not in the other way).

Try not to let anybody slap labels on a situation that's more natural than they're even trained to understand. I got a BPD diagnosis a while ago that I could easily disprove. When you know someone's wrong, let them be wrong instead of wasting your breath. Trespassers in ones' subconscious are best dealt with passively. Actually, that's the most forceful way of addressing them. Just leave the absolutists to chew on their professional self-doubt.

You are among friends here, that's for sure!

I think that's what bothers me the most: almost nobody stood up for what was right and when they could not ignore it just blamed me for being an easy target. I also hear you about not being believed: imagine how I felt? 6'4" kid with self-esteem issues who takes every statement as true and at face value vs two 5'0" kids who are highly skilled manipulators no zero conscience. Even *I* started to believe I was the violent one!!

Back then in the 80s/early 90s, NOBODY could believe that half the class could bully the tallest kid in school, especially the school nerd. Even the police considered it a school problem and would not even acknowledge my mother's pleas. At least in today's world, several kids would be hauled out in handcuffs for what they did to me.

You actually can and of course one of the main symptoms of BPD is denial. No doubt that is 'proof' you have it to so called experts.

I did not realize that denial was a main feature in BPD. Well...it could either be that I have BPD and I'm in denial about it or I don't have BPD and I'm just stating what's true when I say I don't have it lol. That makes it pretty confusing to me because I could have be BPD and be in denial of it . I had a dr. tell me that I wasn't though.

And this is why it's over-diagnosed to such a ridiculous degree. I'm not saying such conditions don't exist, just that people made them way too easily capitalized upon in their definitions thereof...