My husband is a narcissist

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My brother, who also has many AS symptoms, is currently in a relationship with a very selfish and controlling woman. I think he's on his 2nd or third go around at trying to get her out of his house.

Last time he ended up in jail because he blocked her punches and she had bruises to show the cops. Then the judge sent him to couples counseling to work on "his" issues. If the counselor didn't think he was working hard enough on the relationship he would've ended up in jail. The thing that started their fight was that he asked her to move out. Does that make any sense at all? American justice system at its finest.

A couple of weeks ago (2 years after the last incident), he tells her to get out. He decides to not do anything to defend himself when she starts hitting him, since the last time he ended up in jail. So she grabs his arm so hard trying to wrestle him around it dislocated his thumb. The cops show up, take his statement and leave. They said there wasn't anything they could do other than tell him to go to the hospital.

I keep telling him he needs to put all his stuff in storage and get the sheriff to evict her. Then sell the house and leave town, because this woman will never leave him alone any other way.

I've had plenty of narcissists and psychopaths in my life and family. I think our social naievety doesn't see the negatives.

On the other hand, narcissism is so widespread and normalised these days, that most people have some degree of it. It's the cult of self and it's everywhere.

Oh, that is too bad, Scrulie.
I don't know much about this sort of thing, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and I don't really know what else to say.
Take care...

Thanks, Autumn_Shade, I appreciate your support

Has anybody heard from scrulie in the past week?

Trigger I'm OK! Thanks for thinking of me! Sorry I haven't replied to your pm yet. I don't get very much time to myself or any privacy. I will pm soon.

Sending you hugs, Scrulie!! Hang in there.

Glad to hear from you. No big deal, I just know you are going through a lot and you confided in us and many of us are here for if you need to talk or anything. That was a run-on sentence. Anyway, take care and hang in there. Think of CN!

Thanks guys!

I've decided i have to leave. I'm scared out of my mind about doing so but i have to. It'll take a few months and i'll have to be careful how i do things but I know it's what I must do. Thanks guys for being here for me.

Good luck, scrulie! We are always here for you. Take care of yourself. Sending you hugs and courage.

I have an ex with NPD...not diagnosed, but brimming with symptoms.Talk about deceitful, self-indulgent, repetative...well...really I can't begin to describe him.
We remained friends somehow, and years later he became a roommate/joined my band...(has inflated ego regarding his musical skills....but he can play several instruments and that's why we kept him around....but not as well as he thinks he can....Very obnoxious person...constantly hounding after the women.....a very warped sense of right and wrong..

When I dated him he cheated on me alot, lied thorugh his teeth about it, constantly made me feel inadequate, and when we broke up, he went off the deep end and blamed it on me.

incidentally, although he does not have AS, (i don't think) he does have related issues.
Firstly he was born feet first with the umbilical cord around the neck..came out of the womb unconscious..or something like that....(straight for the horses mouth..so who knows what really happened)....everybody thought he wouldn't make it....but he did.
Also he talks about how the army prescribed his dad with amphetamines and he has been taking them every day for 30 years (sign that perhaps ADHD runs in his family?....hard to tell...that also is questionable..

His mental functions seem fine on the surface, infact he used to be able to memorise phone numbers at the drop of a hat....but he is left-handed/severely dyslexic and it is really hard for him to read a book. Also he HATES movies and has only seen very few....and will tend to brag about how he thinks that movies or Shakespear is crap (anything that he can't grasp or get in to)
and insult people who enjoy these things.

One of his favorite activites was to stay up all night listening to the same Frank Zappa album over and over and over again...."dissecting it"

He does have a tendancy to ramble on and on and on about the same topic...usually something having to do with how amazing he is...regardless as to whether or not anyone wanted to hear it....and just repeat the same things over and over and over again...describing the same thing in different words...bringing every conversation towards him or back to him....and just seems oblivious as to whether or not people want to hear it.

Every aspect of his life gets inflated to some fantastic hyperbole....and he cannot be wrong about anything....he cannot be rempremanded.....in the event that something does happen to knock him down a notch, he just completely loses it...(example...if a girl dumps him)....

Also he is a pretty hard core alcoholic.

Quite a handfull that guy.
under the surface he has serious issues with low self esteem.
has a very hard time making any progress in life.
just goes round and round in circles

Yes, I have a relative who was married to a Narcissist. I had to testify against her in a custody battle. She had such an inflated ego that she believed she could be her own lawyer. The judge was able to see her for who she was, and ordered her to have monthly counseling if she wanted bi-weekly visitation. She had been trying to get full custody. Since she didn't get her way, she decided it wasn't worth having a reltionship with her child. She calls once in a blue moon, but it's always about her. "Don't you miss Mommy? Oh, your dad won't let me see you!" Poor me, poor me garbage! The poor child has terrible issues of abandonement, even though she does have a great father. Scrulie, do you and your husband have children?

During their marriage, this woman managed to get rid of every one of his friends and kept contact with relatives to a bare minimum. She had him convinced that she could have any man she wanted, if only she tried, including my own husband and every other aquaintance they had. She was that much of a narcissist! She even believed that her best friend wanted her, never mind that her friend wasn't even a lesbian or bi. That was just the way her mind worked. She quit every job she ever attempted to hold. Her excuse was that all the men were after her and wouldn't take no for an answer. She wasn't that attractive, but in her mind she was.

She was constantly declaring that she was an expert in a new area. First, she was a mechanic. (She dropped out of technical school after two weeks. She said the men wouldn't leave her alone. Even though she didn't have schooling, she still believed she knew enough to work as a mechanic.) Next, she was a model. (She never had a single modeling job.) After that, she ran a cake decorating business. (She had never taken a cake decorating class. She put silk flowers on the top of one of her cakes and called herself an expert. Needless to say, she was never hired.) Lastly, she said she was running a computer repair service. (Once again, she never went to school for this type of thing; she was just suddenly an expert!)

As far as I could tell, she was only an expert in one thing -- mind control. She had my relative so snowed that he didn't know which way was up or down. The final straw (the thing that finally started to snap him out of it) was when she tried moving another man into the house. Her reasoning was that she needed someone to keep her company while her husband was at work. She was just so lonely! She tried to make him believe that it was completely plantonic, but he soon learned otherwise.

Even after leaving, it took years for him to realize how controlling she had been. It was like trying to get someone out of a cult!

I wish you luck, Scrulie! Let us know how things go. (I was gone for a few months. Did you used to have a picture of yourself as your Avatar? I'm trying to figure out who is whom again.)

my ex/roommate took 2 courses in sound engineering at community college ten years ago, and still claims to be an expert. I have worked on recording things with him (and a more experienced sound engineer)...and he will always assert his opinon over that of the real sound engineer....His whole attitude was "ok...you may think you know what you are doing, but I have so and so (see above) experience....so I will humor you even though I know my idea is better...so go ahead if you want to make a lousy album".

Also he makes himself out to be a master chef, even though what it really amounts to is menial prep work at various places that are always laying him off.
He would come home and brag for hours to whoever would listen about how he spent all day making super fancy gourmet so-and sos.

I feel sorry for all the girls that get sucked into his world. He goes by this formula where he first acts like he is madly in love and wants to marry them...then the next thing you know he is cheating on them...and juggling more that one girl.
I have seen attractive, intelligent girls fall for his act over and over again.
it is so sad.
Every girl he dates seriously winds up bitter drunk and violent.
He is now living with one who sleeps around as much as he used to, and it is making him insane because the tides are turned....and she is doing to him what he has done to countless females, he is out of control of the situation....and whenever that happens....his whole world sorta crumbles...

now he is getting older....he's not a golden-haired pretty boy anymore....he is on the verge of crossing the threshold into dirty-old manhood...especially since the only girls who will fall for his crap are on the average about 12 years younger than him.

Yep, definitely sounds like a narcissist. He must really annoy people. I wonder if therapy would even help these people. Is there any known cure for narcissism?

Sorry i havne't replied lately guys! Hopefully i will tomorrow when I'm on my own...