I'm struggling as I'm entering adulthood

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I don't know where to start but I'm getting really overwhelmed. Being autistic doesn't help at all. I recently discovered that I might be exhibiting symptoms of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). I get extremely distressed when things don't go my way. It feels like I'm losing control and to others, it's as if I'm overreacting. It's as if my brain sees this as some threat and then my reactions to certain things can be unpredictable. On top of that, my self-confidence is extremely low in pretty much everything, from academics to driving. I find myself having an aversion to the things I perceive as challenging, such as driving, especially parking my car. I find myself having an aversion to certain things I'm asked to do, such as being told to do the dishes and pretty much everyday things, especially the ones I find challenging such as as driving, studying, etc. I get incredibly anxious when I make mistakes, in academics, especially if it brings my grade down. I also get anxious when I make a driving mistake, especially if I don't park properly. Basically, if I do a challenging task and if I make a mistake, I will get highly distressed. On a distress scale of 1-100, that would be around 30-40 for neurotypicals, but for me it would be 80+. I also find myself very sensitive to criticism, even if it's positive criticism. I've tried to tell the people who are close to me that I might have PDA, and I've been told "There's no way you have it", including my own parents. At times, I think I am delusional, for even thinking that I have PDA. At times, I can be dependent on others for certain difficult tasks as it gives me a sense of security and control, yet when others tell me what to do I can get distressed and not want to do the task. I don't know what to do. Especially when I'm under pressure I will experience overstimulation and then my reactions can be unpredictable. I don't know what to do. Does this even sound like Pathological Demand Avoidance? I'm not going to jump to conclusions yet. What am I supposed to do in such a challenging time in my life? I hope I'm not coming off as needy here.

Hi

I can't answer all of your questions, but I can try to give some advice about what to do in this type of situation.

First of all, I've experienced a lot of the things you're describing. Certain driving situations make me anxious to the point that I feel like I can't drive safely, and I am genuinely afraid for my safety. I hate receiving feedback, and if I receive routine feedback as part of my job, I will avoid looking at it for as long as possible. If I have to act on feedback, then I'm usually unable to be calm enough to understand the feedback being given, so I can't act on it correctly.

I've realized though that I'm not like this every day. Some days I can do things normally without getting anxious. I've noticed that this is more likely to happen if I've been sleeping well for a few days. I'm more likely to sleep well if I do hard exercise like running or a workout video the day before. I'm also less likely to feel anxious if I don't drink much coffee.

So I'd recommend that you look at your eating, sleeping, and exercise habits. Also, if you ever have days that are better than others, try to figure out what you did before those good days in order to replicate that good outcome as well as possible. Maybe this won't help you that much, but it's worth a try.