i just don't get it

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If you like, *I* could be your virtual/pretend pet skunk.
Just take me for walks,
Clean out my cage twice a day.
I don't eat much, since I am on a diet.

I think that might be a good deal, for you.

Oh, and I like being brushed.

This might be a good plan if there's one near you. Animals always make us feel better because they are just themselves and don't judge, thus they are great therapy.

I believe you'll find your niche in life. You're just 22 and at that age I was still "finding my feet" in a confusing world.

Oi vey! You sound frustrated--and exhausted--from trying to wrap your head around what others say, think, or want.

Sounds like you haven't found enough of "your people." Who are they? Anyone who accepts you for who you are--i.e. doesn't seek to change you or fix you or demand that you act like them.

If you can find some one or more people like that... who then also are unafraid to occasionally voice concern when they see you down or when they see you heading down a path they don't recommend... AND who then are willing to accept your straight response and decisions as yours (and not theirs)... maybe those are the type of people--in real life--that are good to spend a little of your effort seeing on being a friend, too.



You, too.

Maybe you just haven't found and understood who you are and what your purpose is--yet.



You're not a bad person for not understanding, nor for making mistakes: everyone does. Even many NTs don't understand--themselves, the world, etc.

That's why I love the ideas of "ND" or "If you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie." You've got to get to know yourself, know you uniqueness, and be discriminating in what advice you believe. Not because all the advice out there is "wrong," but because it's not necessarily a good fit for every individual, at every moment in their life--especially not NDs.





And/or maybe start by taking care of a plant or two in your apartment? (Maybe start with a pretty weed or two from the yard. They won't give up easily, and you know they can grow almost anywhere!)



Aren't we all?

Those on the spectrum tend to have a special affinity with animals.

I did not know that Aspies/autistics had a special affinity for animals.
I know I do.
CANNOT live without a pet.
Cannot.

I can see how that would be a problem.

I had pet fish in high school. They're something at least to take care of. As others have said, volunteering at a shelter if possible is a good idea. Should have a program, usually they're looking for people to help rehabilitate animals so they can be adopted. Something about being around mammals provides more comfort (for me anyways).

Listen up, because this is important.

I'm 45 years of age and have managed to screw up a good 35 of them. I did this s**t so you don't have to.

The biggest relationship killer of all time is low self-esteem. It quickly lurches into defensiveness, secrecy, paranoia and ultimately highly destructive behaviour. You will go looking for problems where none exist, or even create them as "tests". Eventually of course if you carry on in that way, it will work, and your partner will get sick of your BS and leave. And then the cycle justifies itself and the paranoia intensifies and the next relationship will be even worse.

Break out of that. Eat well, get out in the sun, exercise regularly (even if it's only walking). Consider meditation or yoga, or possibly martial arts. Don't get dependent on food, booze, cigarettes, weed or anything else to prop you up. If you already are, get help with that, and discuss it with those you care about. Understand yourself and value your good points. Understand that it is ok to need lone time to recharge your batteries. There is nothing wrong with that. Discuss your hopes and fears with your partner when they are little things, before they grow into monsters. Offer information rather than waiting to be asked. Be creative in any way you enjoy, ideally in education or work but if not, in your hobbies. If you can't cope with face to face conversations, write things down. Just little notes. "I love you, and I know this might seem silly, but I'm worried about...."

Be an open book, when you have the strength. Good people will find you, if you let them. You don't ultimately have to be friends with everyone, but give new people a fair chance. Conversely, know your own worth. Don't accept things that feel wrong because your brain says that's all you deserve. Value your true friends and don't take any s**t from fakers and you'll feel better for it.

I have seen a few of your posts while crashing around WP this evening and they've all been conscientious, intelligent and very well written. Be proud of your strengths.

I have a theory that Aspies have a kind of exaggerated exposure to reality. We lack the filters that enable others to handle all the lies and contradictions in the world without blanching. That's both a blessing and a curse. You're wide open to a lot of stuff in the world that just sucks, which NTs somehow manage to completely ignore. So pick your battles wisely in order to handle that. And don't assume you'll be able to get as much done in a day as the next human, because you're experiencing reality in sharp relief whereas they get the edited highlights in soft focus. Put firebreaks into your day for winding down. We're conscious of more than most, but it's easy to let that become a burden. Try and keep it as a positive and use your insight / unique world view to do good things.

It is ok to make mistakes sometimes, it is ok to fail. That is how people learn. Don't give yourself a hard time for learning, provided it is moving you forward. But beware of repetitive behavioural loops.

Carve that in stone, make it a plaque, and hang it on your wall.
Everyone.