ways of coping with your depression and building self esteem

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I've been thinking of happy things, natural, the elements and meeting people I haven't seen in a while.

You know sometimes us Aspies... Computers are bad for one's mental state. It increases too much positive ions.

Nature and eau provide negative ions (yes they sell overpriced bracelets at the mall).

I think acceptance and commitment are the biggest things. I have to accept that I am prone to depression and that whether I like it or whether I don't that means commitment to doing certain things to help myself. For me personally, the number one thing is physical exercise. It's not always easy to fit that in everyday being a mum of 3, but I simply have to somehow.


I also have to be wary of comparing myself to others. I often felt down when I compared myself to other mothers who seemed on top of things and super organised. But understanding that I have Asperger's made me realise the reason why I struggled with such things. So whenever I catch myself going back to such unhelpful thoughts out of habit, I remind myself that it's not really a fair comparison and that as my shrink and GP tell me, as an AS female what I have acheived is amazing.

Sometimes it gets exhausting to have to keep reminding myself, but I will.

Just some of my thoughts,
Ness

I have found that exercise really helps to include taking a walk or a jog or doing pilates or even yoga. Sometimes though if a lot of things are going on that are really bad it helps to take it "one day at a time." It's a cliche, but it does help some.

Also it does seem to help to get out of your comfort zone even a little bit to include joining a meet up group, etc.

Meditation and Yoga helps me.

Meditation works great for me! Reading uplifting books, being around happy people, listening to music, and exercising are also helpful.

Sometimes, the worst you can do is to think and obsess over your problems. Your brain becomes overwhelmed, like trying to accelerate a car when it is in neutral gear. When I feel stuck in a rut, and have several problems bothering me, I make a conscious effort to shift gears, place them in the back burner, and do something totally different for a while. Later, like magic, a new solution inevitably will just pop up in my head, or the clear winning solution will emerge, and at that time, I am in a much better frame of mind to execute my solution.

Self esteem boosts can be unexpected too if that happens its huge boost. Mine was last week when online author friend's latest book came out beginning of the month and my name was on the acknowledgement page and she told me in a message it was the first book she had space to put a thanks in. When i saw that both in stores and online in a kindle look inside my ego was hugely boosted by the simple acknowledgement of me and helping her writing.

My biggest problem right now with depression is the job problem. I have a degree in graphic design, made sure I varied my skills to cover a lot of ground, and got really good, but nothing pans out. Years of sending out resumes and portfolios. Years of building skills, and reaching out, and networking. I still have nothing. And the projects I work on for myself keep having little problems become big problems. Something that should be as simple as "oh I need a cable for this" turns into "try this' didn't work (forced wait period) "try something else" (forced waiting period) until I've done 50 steps and wasted 3 months. I have a girl I'm madly in love with, and our 1 year anniversary is in 2 days...I want to get married, but I can't even get a retail job.

I don't know how to fix it, and my only ways of feeling better are hanging out with friends, most of which still have lives. I was convinced after months of repetition that "if your not making money doing that, then you shouldn't be doing it" so now, I rarely play music or sing, I rarely do my kung-fu, I rarely play my videogame collection, and I don't watch movies, or tv anymore unless I'm with people.

Yes, I think that's true. Especially about cats. Well, cats cheer me up.

I'm really bored by "life" and completely insecure at the moment. ^^

I'm afraid I'm on the edge of a depression- if not over it. I hope I can stop it, I just want to be happy...

It really scares me.

Fight off the mood, work out, listen to music, watch funny videos.



...Still, I can't help but wonder if I was born neurotypical.

I find helping other people helps me a lot. A mate of mine has Cerebral Palsy and spent Saturday putting him a CV together and registering him on a number of job-related websites which gave me a great feeling of self-worth. I've always found helping others has improved my mood and I think it's something that I'm good at - I can build someone else up, but struggle to turn it around and build myself up because I am conscious of my failings and weaknesses.

I'm taking 40mg of Paroxetine which tends to make me calmer and has been really effective regarding panic disorder - it makes me feel like I can cope far better with ups-and-downs.

I tend to like to spend time on my own learning about my specific interests and expanding my knowledge makes me feel happier about myself. I'm out of work at the moment and have a lot of s**t on my plate and have had since 2006. Knowing that I have a stash of 560mg of Diazepam and coupled with a few bottles of wine should take me out of it should I want to gives me a comforting feeling that I can take a road out of here as and when I want to take it - that has a very calming effect.

Listening to music and alcohol does help but faffing about with Linux and making it do what I want it to do with my radio station (ie setting it up to send me alerts by email when someone calls me and playing with low-power digital modes (sorry I'm getting boring now) also gives me a sense of achievement.

For me it's about learning new things and making things work in the way that I want them to that gives me a high. I was born to be an engineer and have to spend my time learning and understanding new technologies. I'm also involved with a number of pressure groups but the failure to get legislation changed has been a real downer for me so I've pretty much walked away from them.

Having an exit route gives me a real sense of calmness. I also get lots of cuddles from my cat who I love dearly - we bonded from the first day he arrived home. I don't tend to eat very much which is helping me reduce the weight problems associated with Paroxetine, so I can look in the mirror and see that I've not got a belly which makes me feel better.

It is incredibly difficult at the moment - but just persevere - I've got over 20 years experience as an engineer and I've been out of work now for 7 months and it's driving me up the wall.

It's mainly the sense of worthlessness and the rejections that cripple you.

Good luck and I hope you find something soon

Maybe you can give some insight.

My problem as a young adult is that I get so anxious and depressed about my future, so much so that my boyfriend get upset about how I go in circles debating with myself.

I was having moderate success in university studying math and physics, but then realised that job prospects look bleak. I am living independently, supporting myself with a low-paying job, and am worried about my finances. I decided to switch into accounting for its job security. But I have a hard time letting go of my past dreams, at least for a few years as I hope to get my finances settled. It's hard too because I felt at home in the program and university I was once in, but now have to make a major life change.

I don't know. Just finding out about my asperger's has changed my career outlook, making me consider the worst-case scenario as a real possibility.

Normally I vary in my moods, I can either be content or low. I've not had a stage of real depression in about 2 years, but I feel like it has started to return recently. One problem I have is that I feel disconnected from the world and I think joining this site has made me feel worse. Its been upsetting knowing that I don't fit in with NT's or others on the spectrum, it feels like I'm in high school again as I don't seem to fit in anywhere no matter how much I try. Even when focusing on interests its still on my mind and just makes me feel empty. If it weren't for the few friends I'd be a lot worse off, even if I don't get to see them too often , at least they actually want to communicate with me.

I'm finding the job aspect difficult myself as I'm not really sure what I want to do with my life anymore. I went to college but I don't think it would be a suitable career path with the way that I am. So I'm currently trying to rethink things and figure out what line of work would be suitable for me, but it just makes you feel worthless when you're doing nothing in the meantime. It makes me laugh that some people in this country will consider you a "benefit cheat" if you're not working and you are physically abled. I would happily trade bodies with an average working man if it meant I could fit in somewhere and not have to feel this way anymore.

Follow your heart and your vocation - If math and physics are your thing then go down that route - OK, jobs are hard to come by in any discipline, but do something that you are interested in and it will come across in an interview situation.

Math and Physics are not easy subjects, so few people study them which makes you more employable and can expect to gain a salary that is commensurate with your abilities and also opens the doors to many career choices.

Aspergers will be a help rather than a hindrance to your studies, especially if they are of a technical / reasoning nature.

So many people study accountancy, so you will IMO be putting yourself up against more competition than if you study math / physics. I'm an electronics engineer and was born to be an engineer. I'm in a low point in my career at the moment but I have three or possibly 5 live opportunities that I am working on so expect to be back in work soon.

Go with your heart and do what you will enjoy. In the long term it will most certainly pay off; concentrate on fields that less people study and the competition will be less and develop your skills in a work environment and you should find that you are financially well rewarded.

Good luck!

Snar x