Kati wrote:
My husband (53 years old, AS and ADHD) is always looking blatantly at young, sexy girls in the age beween 15 and 25 years.
We are nearly 30years together now and he never stopped this behavior - no matter how I was hurt and cried. He told me he
is just a man and other men do the same. He also is obsessed with pornography - he even prefered pornography on the internet
instadt of having sex with me.
I am so hurted that I have moved out of our family home.
During the last weeks I was even afraid of going shopping with him - because of his constantly surching for "Barbies".
I am 53years old and I feel the older I get - the more he hurts me!
I am sorry for my mistakes - English is my second language.
Thanks for reading this - and hopefully answering!
I would find that situation difficult to deal with, I would be most concerned about him turning down sex with you to watch porn insted, that must really hurt your feelings.
Firstly I would try explaining to him how you feel and asking him how he would feel if you turned down sex with him to use a vibrator, or how he would feel if you openly oggled young men, how he would feel if you watched chipendales. I would explain to him that its important to you for him to be discreate in his oggleing as it hurts your feelings and is disrespectful to you.
Try and think of some things he could do which would make you feel attractive and sexy and then suggest that he do them (such as compliment you more, or give you a massage).
I would also suggest you seek couples counseling with a therapist trained in aspergers as you have big communication problems and are not meeting each others needs and hurting each other.
good luck.