I hate aspergers.

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I know how you feel.
I hate the way I am and I hate society for making me hate myself.

I get where you are coming from for sure I am 36 and female aspie and I experience good and bad in ASD. Yes it does have some excellent good points but it also has many bad points I live alone,I don't have kids which was only partially a choice given im ASD and asexual and I find it hard to make friends and when I do they come with complications like their partners or whatever. I live with anxiety and depression and basically 80% of the time find life tough as I also find getting a job hard too. I do try and see the positives and that can help. I totally get why the suicide rate is 9 times higher for us but instead of that we need to band together to help each other and be kind to those in the AS community to find your people can help. As this very website is called Wrong PLanet we were born on the wrong planet but we can make our own planet.

ASD affects me negatively, and I have the traits that make it a disability:-

-Bad at maths, science and technology
-Special interests aren't about memorizing facts, they're more about people, making me look like some sort of stalker
-Severe anxiety that holds me back from doing things my peers are doing, like maintaining full time jobs
-Social anxiety
-Odd/eccentric personality
-Too normal to be accepted as neurologically challenged, too neurologically challenged to be accepted as normal
-Too self-aware
-Too empathetic
-Have a strange way of thinking (for example, really believing that teddy bears are alive. They are!! !)
-Being jumpy at loud noises, and being misophonic about certain noises like people sneezing. But not having better hearing than others
-Too expressive about feelings
-Too passive/tactful to others
-Find it hard to pay attention to detail, unless I concentrate at it (but not a natural ability)
-Find it hard to focus, even on own interests
-Too affectionate like a Down's Syndrome person
-Flaky and absent-minded
-Get panicky and bored of repetitiveness, but get anxious when plans change at the last minute
-Have to be on Sertraline for the rest of my life to avoid emotional rage outbursts
-Cry a lot, emotionally sensitive, and get really emotional at funerals