My old familiar friend - Melancholy

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Job #50 has been terminated. I'm in my 50's and need to find #51. Yeah, right, here I go again. Do you think I'll ever learn to remember what I am? To remember that my attempts to be social leave people shaking their heads and turning away? To remember that what looks like a proactive, productive thing to me looks bizarre and incomprehensible to them? I was in my 40's before I even became aware of the looks I got from them. I wish I could go back to being ignorant of how crazy I am. I would rather have a terminal illness - at least then my future would be known and this casting myself to the winds of the next unknown disaster would be over. Where is the job where I can bury myself in complex algorithms and never have to be social again, damn it?

Humorism, or humoralism, is a now discredited theory of the makeup and workings of the human body, adopted by Greek and Roman physicians and philosophers, positing that an excess or deficiency of any of four distinct bodily fluids in a person directly influences their temperament and health. From Hippocrates onward, the humoral theory was adopted by Greek, Roman and Islamic physicians, and became the most commonly held view of the human body among European physicians until the advent of modern medical research in the nineteenth century.
The four humors of Hippocratic medicine include black bile (Gk. melan chole), yellow bile (Gk. chole), phlegm (Gk. phlegma), and blood (L. sanguis), and each corresponds to one of the traditional four temperaments. A humor is also referred to as a cambium (pl. cambia or cambiums).[1]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humorism

We're all a little mad!

Obviously I am full of black bile and must find some way to purge the putrescence! I guess that's a little humorous.