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EnglishJess
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21 Jul 2012, 3:27 am

I'm often too shy to do or say anything, and wish I wasn't. Sometimes I want something, but am too shy to ask for it, so instead I hint but no one gets it. And then I'm often shy when it comes to talking to people, I often say er...yes.. and stuff, or look down most of the time.

I have an idea that might help me, which is something to take my mind off the fact I'm shy, because it's then that I do more things and only after do I realise I would have been too shy for that.

I just need some advice about it.



jamieevren1210
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21 Jul 2012, 6:07 am

I have the exact same problem!
I may not seem like it on the outside, but really I am extremely shy.
But when I am with my good friends, it gets easier. I don't know why.
I hope that works for you too.


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EnglishJess
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21 Jul 2012, 6:39 am

Just one problem with that. I don't have any friends any more. Not in real life, anyway. And you don't seem shy to me.



identity
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21 Jul 2012, 6:42 am

I'm really shy in person aswell so I'm not sure how to help but I think being aware of it is important and to just keep trying to push yourself a little bit each time when talking to people, I know it's not easy though.



jamieevren1210
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21 Jul 2012, 10:14 am

EnglishJess wrote:
Just one problem with that. I don't have any friends any more. Not in real life, anyway. And you don't seem shy to me.


I am very funny and cool to hang out with, according to my close friends. But when I face a new environment in which I am alone, I become extremely shy and anxious. It can take up to a month of adjustment before I am able to function socially.
I know how you feel, because I went through the majority of my childhood having at best only one friend. Now I have quite a few friends, and I still can't do well one on one with strangers.


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EnglishJess
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22 Jul 2012, 5:15 am

I can get used to places easily, but that's mainly because there's someone I know, or can trust, or both.



Verinda
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22 Jul 2012, 4:12 pm

I am extremely shy too and know just how you feel.

My best advice, when you're stuck for something to say, ask a question. I have found that many people (admitedly not everyone) appreciate it if they think you are interested in what they've got to say.



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22 Jul 2012, 4:57 pm

EnglishJess wrote:
Just one problem with that. I don't have any friends any more. Not in real life, anyway. And you don't seem shy to me.


I also am quite shy, and I'm in the same situation has you, I don't really get out or talk to anyone or have friends. But I was much worse a few years ago.

You just got to focus on the things that actually make you shy. You not don't to hurt people or just can't stand being judged? Or are you afraid of being misunderstood? "Shyness" is quite an abstract term, which shows most of the actions you do (or don't in this case) but doesn't explain the reason.

My problem was a bit of "not hurting" and "not wanting to be judged", so I focused on one thing, and forgive me the term but, "not giving a sh*t", if people do get hurt by what I say it's their own fault and their sensitive buffoonery , not mine. And if they think bad of me, tough luck, next person up ahead. Of course, I can say it "cured me" or that it will make any difference to most people who adopt this mentality, but my problem was I cared to much, so I made my best to stop caring.