Being an Aspie and Wanting to go to Medical School <Rant&

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Im so anxious and frustrated at the moment, Im studying for the GAMSAT (entry thing for med in australia) I just finished second year and have one full year (2013) and dribs and drabs to do in 2014, the med school application thing is becoming so real. The GAMSAT has a lot of emotional touchy feely bits (about half) which worries me, I'm trying to learn feelings and what not now and I'm terrible with words and written expression.
I feel like the GAMSAT is trying to weed out aspies and that makes me so mad and sad and anxious ... i can't face not getting in to UOW GSM when i apply in 2014
Im so annoyed right now when i encounter people i know that are all well maybe medicine isn't the place for you because you are an aspie i just want to yell and scream and cry because i know i belong at UOW GSM i know would make a fantastic doctor i know i deserve to be there
To be honest i feel absolutely entitled to a place at medical school especially because the process is actively attempting to screen me out (MMI, portfolio, rurality and GAMSAT section 1 and 2) i am damn well perfect for neurology and i need to go to UOW GSM its basically if i get turned down my world is over and i will probably die .
I hate that medical schools basically screen aspies out its not fair just because I'm bad at interviews and GAMSAT sections I and II and I've had a bad time recently so my portfolio is rushed (within 2012-2013-2014 things pretty much except some school things) whih is apparently bad even though theres great things on it none of that means i would be a bad doctor I'm really good at all the application of knowledge in a clinical/academic setting having gotten fantastic grades in clinically orientated subjects in my undergrad degree my academic record is fantastic and I'm terrified that wollongong won't see it and i will never get in and then its all over my whole life has been aimed at medicine (neurology) I'm not willing to accept that its not possible because i have aspegers I'm so mad right now why must the UOW GSM make my life hard, i know that once i get in ill thrive but getting in seems impossible with the hurdles that directly prevent aspies making it i wish there was some alternate process for autistic individuals to enter medicine like a different sort of interview and no GAMSAT

I will be going to my doctors tomorrow to try and get a prescription for Modavigil (Modafinil in USA) because i am quite distractible and have been forever (border line ADD without hyperactivity) and at this moment I'm more distractible than ever because there is this big looming cloud of "what if you don't get in" "you aren't good enough" "GAMSAT GAMSAT GAMSAT!! !! !! !!" and i am taking 40 mg lovan (fluoexetine) a day which downs the anxiety to a manageable amount (cannot live without my meds i don't even function) but the side effect is sleeping 18hours a day, apathy and depression so its a hard thing to balance so yeah Modavigil seems to be the way to go

</rant>

The thing is part of being a doctor is having bedside manner, interacting with patients, making them feel comfortable. It's also about being able to work in a team, with other people, all the time. It sucks for you, but it's not about weeding out people with Aspergers, it's about picking applicants who fit the whole profile of what they want in a doctor. Doctors need social skills. It's completely fair. You can't become a surgeon without an arm either, but would you call that discrimination? Of course not, it's a disability that affects the ability to properly perform in that field. I'm not trying to discourage you, and I'm not saying you can't become a doctor, but I don't think it's right to cry discrimination about this.

Just do the best you can. Ask people what they would answer to some of the sample questions. Ask a lot of questions at your local hospital. Ask doctors how they deal with certain situations. I would imagine in order to want to be a doctor you've shadowed some real doctors at work? Also ask the nurses, what do they do to make patients feel comfortable?

Some aspects of being Aspie that would HELP with being a doctor:

- straight-forward answers, honest approaches to treatment (you'd be hard-pressed to sell them an uncertain or risky procedure.
- attention to detail, I bet you won't be leaving any sponges behind in your patient and you would also in your field of neurology take detailed history and ask questions other doctors might not think are important
- you would have a diverse outlook on neurobiology that would help fellow autistic patients, in fact you would be able to make autistics feel comfortable by understanding them beyond what neurotypical doctor's are capable of.
- you would be so informed in your field that you may make novel discoveries and do important research later on


Also, there are doctors that solely do research, no patient interaction. If that side of things really intimidates you, go into research. In the US we have medical doctors that are researchers, they are Doc Docs lol (it's PhD, plus MD).

Please think of some of these things to tell yourself when you get down about your chances. I know the whole world seems wired against us, but we can make a lasting contribution and work in fields not designed for us. I'm one of them. I work in a restaurant cooking on the hot line, not many Aspies are successful there. I'm sure there are Aspie doctors who are great doctors. Hopefully one or two could reply to make you feel better.

All I can say is try your best, I know getting into med school in the US is tough and many people are screened out, not just aspies. Even if you don't make it into med school, there are many other things you can do that is related to the medical field or the sciences. I'm curious, have you done actual hospital work, how are you with that? Cause like someone said above, doctors need to have good bedside manner which requires social skills. For such a intense profession, med schools need to make sure that the candidates they are taking in have it ALL, not just the smarts, everything that is required. I've never tried for med school but I know lots of people that are pre-med and med schools admissions is pretty tough.

Thankyou guys for the advice and kind words, some days i get sh***y about the med school process. Today i started modafinil for the lack of motivation and depression i get from my SSRIs and I do feel better and more motivated, my head is more clear now