How to meet people? Don't feel Human.
I really don't relate to people at all but also dislike being around people. I don't trust anyone and feel on edge. It makes me nervous. I'm good at faking it but then I feel extremely depressed when I get home, like I'm constantly in a play. Small talk depresses me but I have no trouble discussing deep and complicated topics. To make it worse I have chronic insomnia and mild prosopagnosia. I often am really tired and it's like walking around a crowd of mannequins.
I don't know what to do. I got PTSD from a series of hard family deaths and taking care of my disabled mom and elderly grandparents since being a teenager. I didn't have an adolescence and had to be an adult in a harsh world from an early age. I've never been in love or dated. It seems like everyone in their 20s either drinks or does some other drugs, which I do neither; alcohol and my anti-depressants don't mix. I don't know how to be human. I think I seem distant to people and never connect with anyone. I wish there was a sentient species in the world besides people that I could relate to instead. It's all very depressing.
aspieinaz
Sea Gull
Joined: 5 Apr 2016
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 248
Location: Sitting on the beach, staring at the waves
Hi and (((hugs))). Do you like animals? My three dogs are some of my best friends. I don't like being around people either. Do you like to write? I'd much rather write to people than talk to them. I know what you mean by faking it, I always have a mask on among people other than my husband. Good for you for not getting into illegal drugs and drinking. Your body and brain will be the better for it. Just because you are different than many humans doesn't mean that you are not human or that you can't contribute to the world. By being a caregiver, you have already contributed a lot. I think the fact that you have reached out to us here shows that you are indeed human. I hope you will find some good friends here.
_________________
I said, "You don't understand that I don't understand what you understand."
I have a cat and do like to write. Thanks for responding.
aspieinaz
Sea Gull
Joined: 5 Apr 2016
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 248
Location: Sitting on the beach, staring at the waves
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