I was dumped last night, I don't know what do, it hurts

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I was just dumped by my girlfriend last night, and I don't know what to do. "I can't really say I'm in love with you" is what she said. This just came out of nowhere and I feel like I can't breathe. The day before yesterday I thought we were still madly in love, now I'm heartbroken.

I just wish I knew what went wrong. I wish she would tell me that I did something wrong, tell me that I f****d up, tell me I had abhorrent personality traits, at least then I could make *some* sense of it. But she just said that she changed, and no longer felt the way she used to. She loves me but she's not *in love* with me anymore. How am I supposed to react to that? How can you say you love me on Sunday, then no longer be capable of loving me on Friday? She keeps insisting that I didn't do anything at all, that she wanted to feel it but couldn't; but how am I supposed to understand that? I'm just hurt and confused.

She stopped by my house last night to return some things I left in her apartment, one of my shirts she had (she kept the other one, and this one still smells like her ); and what really stings is that she returned the presents I gave her for Valentines this year. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I spent all night crying, I feel empty, like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.

It's like I'm trapped in a nightmare I can't wake up from. Whenever I was with her all of my depression and anxiety just melted away. Despite all the BS I deal with on a daily basis, I always felt alright, because I knew that no matter what happened I had her beside me, and she made everything alright. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna make it through the rest of the year.

The worst part is how nonchalant she was. She seemed just so apathetic about it. Our relationship was amazing, we've been through so many good times, and I was always there for her when she was going through rough times, and she was there for me. But when dumping me she was so casual though, like we had only been on three dates. We were together for a year, and she didn't even seem to care. She said she doesn't see us having a future together; I saw us potentially getting married one day, I definitely saw a future with her. And she used to see one with me, I just don't know what changed.

I don't know how to deal with this. Without her I just feel dead inside. Just last week I was so happy, now I don't know how I'm gonna live without her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, now I feel like my heart is shattered in a million pieces. She said she doesn't think she was the right girl for me, but we were perfect together. I don't think I could ever find anyone else as amazing as her.

The only one I feel like I can turn to at this moment is my best friend. They try to be sympathetic, but they're more of a tough love kind of person, they tell me to put my dating profile back online right away, right now; but I'm a crying mess right now, and I don't feel ready to try to date again.

I don’t want to just read and move on. I’m sorry that you’re hurting. It’s okay to be a crying mess right now.

To return your valentine's gifts - that's low. She sounds, if I may say so, like a complete turd.

She sounds like the type who gets a kick out of the power she believes she has over you. These types are the lowest of the low. I would thank your stars you're rid of her and not give her a second thought.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but it's part of the human condition. Your girlfriend being about the same age as you, I assume, is still figuring life out. I doubt she ever intended to hurt you; she just changed her mind about the direction she wanted to go, or maybe even who she is.

It's okay to take some time off from dating, and just grieve for the loss of your relationship. It's okay to feel low for a while. Try to make yourself go through the paces of eating, sleeping, all your usual activities. With time, you'll feel better. Of course, if you are in danger of self-harm, seek help immediately.

I know exactly how you feel. This was done to me a few times.

I guess crying it out is good....but I would also seek to gain perspective. She’s a young, probably confused person. I found what she did to be callous and uncaring.

Have you almost graduated?

I would put on the TV and watch something you really like.

She might have been an amazing person—but she is a young person in college. She’s probably confused.

I’m really sorry this happened to you.

It’s probably not “you” at all.

The exact same thing happened to me about a month ago. I don't understand how someone can love you in one minute, and not love you the next. Or how someone can dump you saying that you two could have been a perfect couple, but things just weren't right. It's always up to us to make things right. Blaming the circumstances is a sign of weakness, and saying she doesn't love you after so much time together makes the whole relationship seem like a lie. It's a childish behaviour, and my ex is not even that young (she's almost 30), so she should know better than that. This makes me angry and sad, but it doesn't make me love her any less.

The best thing you can do is try to find something you like doing alone, and to be with friends as much as you can. I wouldn't suggest dating again for a while, since you would probably be looking for your girlfriend in everybody else, which is a source of more pain for you and for the girl you date. Although, some casual meet-ups could boost your self-esteem, if you're into that sort of thing.

I hope I helped a little.

I think the phrase I love you but I'm no longer in love with you means she's no longer attracted to you. It's like you fell into the "just friends" category. I'm NOT going to speculate on the reasons why she's no longer attracted to you & I don't think it would do you much good if you did except I will say that it may have nothing to do with you. She may be going through a change or some kind of phase or found someone else she's more attracted to. I know being dumped totally sux. My 2nd girlfriend dumped me. It's perfectly understandable to cry for a while after the loss of a serious romantic realtionship. It's going to take time to feel like your ready to move on. Your friends are probably well meaning by suggesting that you start looking for someone else now but tell them you need to take some Me Time & focus on yourself for a while 1st. Maybe it'll help to indulge in things you like that you normally don't & it may also help to take a break from your life like go on a little retreat so to speak like go camping or go on a road trip or something.

Time heals all.

It may seem like you’ll “Never,” get over this. But, you will, and life goes on. You’ll learn and grow from it & life events like this will become easier to process.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

It certainly seemed hopeless for me when I "lost" my "one true love" when I was 21. I did some foolish things while I was "mourning" this girl.

Really, honestly, the best thing to do is to move on from her. She's not a bad girl. At worst, she's a fickle college girl.

Please don't develop an ideology which states that "women are this, women are that." If you do, it will only complicate matters for you.


I hope you start feeling better soon.

I hope your next girl turns out to be a Sweet Pea.