My Sister Is Driving Me Soooo Crazy!!

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I HATE my sister!! I wish I can stop talking to her. I have to text her, cuz my mom left me money in a trust fund, she put my sister in charge of the trust fund, I sooo hate asking her for my money. There other times that we text too. When I want to talk to her about something, I have to wait, she either say ‘I’m busy’ or ‘I have a migraine’ sometimes she say that she gets back later or she talk to me tomorrow & the next day, she forgets. When she wants to talk to me, I have to talk to her or it’s a crime if I don’t talk to her, it’s NOT fair, she can make the rules & I have to follow it. She wants me to do anything she tells me & I have to do it. She does not own me, I’m not a puppet! She can be Sooooo Bad!!

Will you have ownership of the trust fund any time in the future? In any case, my thought is to find an advocate.

Here's a link I find when I google "trustee fund abusive", so it is by no means advice, just perspective...
https://law.freeadvice.com/estate_plann ... rustee.htm

I like this: "...an individual serving as trustee is responsible to communicate honestly and openly with beneficiaries, to gather and invest property of the estate, and to account for property that passes through. That can be a big job, so allow your trustee some latitude if possible. But life being what it is, drama and chaos can break out, especially if familial relationships aren’t what they could be wished-for. From my experience, we recommend a “Family Care Meeting” with the trustee and beneficiaries only early in the process because that keeps all interested parties in the loop and updated of what is going on and what the next steps are. Transparency and good communication are king for a successful trust administration process."

Sorry it stinks.

I hear it can be overrated, but assertiveness may work wonders --- calmly calling her out. My sister and I haven't gotten along well and I am just beginning to assert myself and to my surprise she hasn't retaliated (overtly). Oddly, I think she may be relieved I'm standing up for myself. Weirdness. I'd have much preferred she treated me well to start with. In the past my sister's predominant emotion for me was disgust ("you did that?!"). Now instead of shame I get to practice at "Yes, and you sound disgusted - this is something I am proud of given my circumstances..." --- or something. I am at the beginning of this. That's much easier written, than said

I am told that communication is #1 for any relationship. BTW I have a similar dynamic with my NT husband. He's Mr Avoidant (and IMHO errs on the side of selfish). Does the same thing "busy" "later" (to the kids also). I have started nicely, "I know you are tired, I would like to wrap this up so it's not hanging over my head, so how about 5 min now or in 10 min and then we'll both have the whole evening to relax..." Or finding some other middle ground. In the past I would go off and mope, or stay and yell at him. This asserting oneself is interesting, so far seems to be effective. So takes spoons but then gives back spoons!

I was thinking the funds were separate. All together - that put a lot of "trust" into your sister.

(That was actually my first response, but I had to break my response into sections so CAPTCHA wouldn't trigger.)