How to pull a Christmas Cracker

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Someone once confessed that they didnt know what "drawing and quartering" was (the punishment meted out by kings of old). "Do they draw your picture and throw quarters at you?"

I had to explain the gruesome truth to them.

Had to explain that "if the king had a special dislike for you he would invite the city to gather in the square to watch as...they tied one horseman to each of your limbs. And then each of the horsemen would giddyup in a different direction.

And then I added that "the horseman with the biggest piece of you...would have his wish come true" .

Then I admitted that I had made up that last part. But the person still didnt like my gallows humor.

Who wastes time with a Christmas cracker when they can go spray their AR-15 until the cows come home?

Crackers are a thing in Australia and New Zealand. Bad jokes, toys, hats and all.

I love Christmas crackers. They're fun.

Somebody gave us a couple last year. We didn't know they were supposed to crack or pop or that you are supposed to pull on them. We just opened them and there was something very bad inside, like a very small unimpressive toy (I don't remember what). We didn't know there was also a joke or anything else and that part was probably left inside and we unknowingly threw it out. We were very perplexed as to what it all was. As far as we knew it was just a small bad toy in a fancy sort of tube-shaped container. I'm still not clear on it.

We have crackers in Canada, too. My mom has bought them for us to open at Christmas dinner, but the prizes inside are pure junk. And the more expensive crackers aren't any better.

Personally, I'd rather have a Kinder Surprise egg or something like that.

'News Story' discusses 'Christmas Crackers' and the day after Christmas, 'Boxing Day.'

Note from 'News Story': The British favor 'Happy Christmas' over 'Merry Christmas.'
Personally, I've always preferred the 'Happy Holidays' greeting.

News Story: 'Nine British Christmas Traditions That Probably Confuse Americans'
https://www.insider.com/uk-christmas-tr ... an-2018-12

* American Artist 'Norman Rockwell' did a painting in 1919 featuring a 'Christmas Cracker'
https://www.wikiart.org/en/norman-rockw ... avour-1919

* On 'Boxing Day' https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxing_Day

i usually put very little grip on the christmas cracker so my opponent can win

i play this with small children and my mother who has arthritis, to me seeing the smile on their face is more valuable than winning

except my older brother, i dont hold back around him

I hate when the puller thing is stuck to the paper.