I need a lot of help

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Let me start by saying that I have these thoughts about suicide. I just feel like when I speak, nobody listens. These thoughts are caused by problems I have in life.

First, I feel like everyone who's my friend is pretending because almost whenever I'm invited to hang out, I'm often ignored, and I could be misinterpreting it all, but I don't think so sometimes. True, I do have friends who don't do this, but only a few.

Second, there's this girl I have a crush on. I told her this once and she said that it was sweet of me to let her know that, but she then went dating someone else. Of course, I feel disappointed, and even a bit betrayed. But I also understand that I should let her date who she wants, let me know what you guys think about that.

Finally, it seems to me that my parents think I should be perfect. I told them several times that I want to be who I want, but I don't think they're letting me. It honestly doesn't feel like they're even trying to listen.

Honestly, I think i should choose either suicide, or arson.

Call a Suicide Helpline, as cliche as it sounds

Or go to a therapist and/or see your Doctor about getting Anti-Deps

as someone who's has often suicidal thoughts I'm not gonna give you the "life gets better" chat but please read a bit about the dangers of possibly ending up with brain damage should you fail. also, i think there are things you can do to improve your life before resulting to something so final !

as for the parents part - you're not going to live with your parents soon and nobody can be perfect (trust me, I've tried) :p

The fact you mentioned arson seems like you are very angry , perhaps you could find a way to channel your anger somewhere else - maybe a punch bag ?

But as lostxprophit has said get some help dude , people here can offer you advice but not the help you might need.

It's pretty common for teenagers to feel like no one listens to or understands them. You're not alone in this at all. Chances are most of your peers feel exactly the same way.

As for suicidal thoughts, if they're active vs. passive suicidal thoughts it's much more important that you reach out and call a suicide hotline. The difference is if you're thinking "I want to end my life and this is how and I should do that by taking this action," type of thoughts vs. the slightly less urgent "I wouldn't have minded if that close call ended my life," sort of thoughts. Both are undesirable types of thoughts to be having, of course, but passive suicidal thoughts aren't typically so urgent to deal with & can be talked about with a doctor/counsellor at your next appointment.



That's normal for a socially anxious ASD person to think/feel. It's not pleasant, but it's common. It's probably a combination of others actions as well as your misinterpretations. They invite you out, so they at least like your presence enough to do that. When you're being ignored, are you also ignoring others? Maybe they don't interact with you because you're not interacting with them? Or maybe they don't know how to engage and interact with you just as you may not know how to interact with them? But they still like you or they wouldn't bother inviting you out at all. Maybe you could try initiating conversation or interaction w/ the friends that tend to ignore you and see how that goes? Try to interact with them just the same as you do with the friends that don't ignore you and maybe you'll have better interactions with more people vs. opting to only hangout with the few that you get along better with.



Crushes happen. You'd better get used to them lol because it's been my experience, and that of friends, that we tend to have more of them that are FAR more intense than other people experience and so the first few can be difficult to process and get over, and while unrequited love is never fun, it does get easier to handle over time.

It's nice that she responded politely to your advance, but what she didn't verbalize to you was that she wasn't interested in you in that way. Usually when someone says "that's nice, thanks for telling me," and doesn't say anything like "I like you, too.." then chances are pretty solid that the unsaid part is "but I'm just not into you in that way at all, sorry."

Disappointment is a normal healthy reaction to that sort of news, but not betrayal. She wasn't your girlfriend or wife. She didn't leave you to be with him, or cheat on you etc. She's not obligated to be attracted to you in return for you being attracted to her. Attraction isn't a "first come first serve," thing where you should expect a girl to date you because you asked her first. She's simply not attracted to you in that way, and she is attracted to that other guy in that way. I've had to accept this several times over. It's never fun or pleasant, but, it is what it is and we can't fault others for not feeling attracted to us. They can't control who they are/aren't attracted to any more than we can. She didn't choose not to be attracted to you and she didn't choose to be attracted to him - it just happened that way. It's best, IMO, for you to simply be happy for her if she's happy dating him. After all, you like her and you want her to be happy, right? I know, not the easiest thing to accept, but the sooner you do it the better off you'll be.



Why does it seem they want you to be perfect? Who is it you are & want to be that they're not allowing you to be? In what ways are they restricting you from being yourself?



Nah, neither will get you what you want.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. All of life's problems can eventually be worked out and as you get older you'll be able to cope with bigger problems and stresses than ever and even they won't seem nearly as overwhelming as life feels when you're a teenager. This is all just a very normal part of growing up.

Arson won't get you anything but perhaps a crimincal record.. and that's no good for your future self if you'd like to go to college, have a career, do any international traveling, or even just stay out of jail. You might also accidentally burn yourself or someone else.

Sounds like you could use a healthy outlet for stress. Someone else suggested a punching bag. If you need to get out some aggression, that's not a terrible idea. Alternatively you could go for a good long run. Running is VERY head clearing therapy.