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I mainly use ChatGPT but it's fine to use other things too.

My prompt : write a seinfeld style comedy opener as seen in the seinfeld tv based around the theme of autism

Response:

(Setting: Jerry Seinfeld is on stage at a comedy club, delivering his stand-up routine.)

Jerry: So, what's the deal with autism? I mean, people talk about it like it's this big, mysterious thing. "He's on the spectrum." "She's on the spectrum." You know what? We're all on a spectrum! Some of us are just further along in our obsession with breakfast cereal.

(Laughter)

Jerry: Seriously, you ever notice how people with autism can have these amazing, super-focused interests? Like, they can tell you everything about trains, or dinosaurs, or... I don't know, 18th-century European coinage. Meanwhile, I'm over here struggling to remember where I parked my car!

(More laughter)

Jerry: And then there's the whole sensory thing. Bright lights, loud noises, overwhelming crowds. It's like a rock concert every time they walk into a grocery store. I'm just trying to pick out a cantaloupe, and they're out there living in an IMAX movie.

(Audience chuckles)

Jerry: But you know what I love? The honesty. People with autism, they don’t sugarcoat it. They tell it like it is. You ask, "How do I look in this shirt?" And they say, "Like you slept in it." No fluff, no nonsense. It's refreshing! Meanwhile, your neurotypical friends are like, "Oh, it's... different." Yeah, different bad!

(Laughter and applause)

Jerry: And let's not forget routines. Oh, they love their routines. They find comfort in them. I'm the same way with my cereal in the morning. If my box of Cheerios isn’t there, my whole day’s off. But for them, it’s like, "Nope, if the left sock goes on first, the world might implode."

(More laughter)

Jerry: But really, the best part? They see the world in a way that we just can't. Details, patterns, connections. It's like having a superpower. They’re the real superheroes, folks. We're just the sidekicks trying to keep up.

(Cheers and applause)

Jerry: So, the next time you meet someone with autism, just remember: They might be on a different part of the spectrum, but we're all on it together. And who knows, they might just teach you something amazing about dinosaurs... or coinage.

(Closing laughter and applause)

Hmmmm...

That isnt too bad actually.

As humor, and as a replication of Sienfeld's particular style of humor, its not far off the mark.

As an exposition on autism...its flawed (an autistic who monologues about Shakespeare, or about Looney Tunes Cartoons, is ALSO likely to forget where they "parked their car" if they can drive in the first place...precisely because they spend all of their time thinking about Shakespeare, or about Looney Tunes). But even so...that IA has a better grasp of autism than do most of the flesh and blood humans Ive conversed with.

I agree. It's impossible to capture such a varied group perfectly but I thought it was decently funny. I also like that it mentioned both the good and the bad. It didn't just paint a rosy picture, where autism is all good, so it felt more genuine.

I thought it was quite good especially for a robot. And observational comedy doesn't have to (and probably shouldn't try to) capture the real situation perfectly. It's not a science. I seem to remember a time when they said a computer program can't have a sense of humour or artistic expression of any kind.

That's a good point. Comedy should be a bit loose.

Apparently, the real Jerry Seinfeld thinks he could be on the spectrum. So I tried another prompt related to this theme.

prompt: write an episode of seinfeld where jerry realizes he may be autistic and his friends share their thoughts

Response:

Act 1: The Realization
Scene: Jerry’s Apartment

Jerry: (sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book on autism) Hey, did you know a lot of adults are getting diagnosed with autism now?

George: (sitting on the couch) Autism? Isn't that...?

Jerry: Yeah, it’s a spectrum. It says here that some people just have social quirks, intense interests, or routines. (pauses) You know, like me.

Elaine: (entering the apartment) Like you? What are you talking about?

Jerry: Well, I’ve been reading this book, and I think I might be autistic.

Kramer: (bursting through the door) Jerry! You can’t just diagnose yourself! That’s like... diagnosing yourself with being Kramer!

George: (smirking) Jerry, you? Autistic? No way. You’re just... particular.

Jerry: No, really. Listen to this. (reads from the book) “Difficulty understanding social cues, intense focus on certain topics, preference for routines.” I mean, come on!

Elaine: (thinking) Well, you do have that thing with cereal. And you did spend a whole week learning about those obscure cereal mascots.

Kramer: So what if you’re on the spectrum, Jerry? That just means you’re a unique guy!

Act 2: The Reactions
Scene: Monk’s Cafe

Elaine: So, I’ve been thinking. If Jerry’s autistic, does that change anything?

George: (sipping coffee) He’s still Jerry. But maybe it explains why he’s so... Jerry.

Elaine: Yeah, but should we be treating him differently?

Kramer: Nah, Jerry wouldn’t want that. He just wants to know why he’s different. (pauses) Maybe we should take a test too! See what our quirks are!

Elaine: (laughs) Kramer, we already know your quirks. They’re called “Kramer.”

Jerry: (joining the table) So, I went to a therapist. She said I have traits that are consistent with high-functioning autism.

George: So it’s official?

Jerry: (shrugs) Kind of. She said it’s not about labels but understanding yourself.

Elaine: Well, Jerry, we love you just the way you are. Spectrum or no spectrum.

Kramer: (grinning) Yeah, you’re our favorite comedian on the spectrum!

Act 3: The Acceptance
Scene: Comedy Club

Jerry: (on stage, doing stand-up) So I found out I might be on the autism spectrum. My friends were like, “Does that mean you’re different now?” And I said, “No, it just means I finally have an excuse for not understanding why people like small talk.”

(Audience laughs)

Jerry: (continuing) Seriously, though. It’s like living in a world where everyone else has this secret social manual, and I’m over here like, “Can I get the cliff notes?”

(Audience laughs)

Scene: Jerry’s Apartment

George: (watching TV) So, Jerry, now that you’re diagnosed, any big changes?

Jerry: (smiling) Not really. Just... understanding myself better.

Elaine: (hugging Jerry) We’re proud of you, Jerry.

Kramer: (handing Jerry a box) Here, I got you something.

Jerry: (opening the box) Cereal? What’s this for?

Kramer: (grinning) For the king of cereal, whether he’s on the spectrum or not.

(Everyone laughs)

Jerry: (voice-over) Sometimes, understanding yourself is the biggest punchline of all.

(End of episode)

That is so . . . weird!

I could easily see this as a real episode of "Seinfeld".  The characterizations were perfect.

Now I understand why Hollywood writers are in such an uproar over AI, especially Chat GPT.

They could lose their jobs.  Or maybe not . . .

Walter: "Here Charlie, this script was sent to me by a friend.  See if you can punch it up to our standards, okay?  I'll make sure you get full credit if it gets picked up.  And keep it on the down-low.  My friend wants to remain anonymous, 'cuz he's (*ahem*) not in the Union."

Charlie: "Taking scab work?  Well, at least it's not that AI crap.  I'll get right on it."

YEAH!

I was just gonna say that this is getting downright scary!

How a machine could write such ...a decent episode of Sienfeld.

Hmm . . .

"write a concession speech for Donald Trump that is entirely fact-based, articulate, intelligent, congratulatory, and addresses real-life problems with real-world solutions"

Write new episodes of ..."Leave it to Beaver".

But episodes of Beaver as if they were scripted by particular well known authors in that author's style.

Suggested writers for these "lost episodes of Beaver" might be...

D.H. Lawrence (Lady Chatterly's Lover)

Arthur Miller (Death of a Salesman)

Dashiel Hammett

Arthur Miller (Death of a Salesman)

Dostoyevsky

Stephan King

Agatha Christie

Anne Rice

Edgar Allen Poe

Ray Bradbury

Ernest Hemingway

J.R.R. Tolkien

Tennessee Williams

Kafka

Any author of your choice (the darker, heavier, and more incongruous with the family friendly flavor of "Beaver" the better).

See what it comes up with.

I don't have a clue how to use AI but if I could, I'd want to see a day in my own life going normally with no stressors, bad luck, or complicated BS.

I wouldn't believe it but it could be fun for entertainment purposes only.

prompt: write a a scary and violent episode of leave it to beaver as if scripted by ray bradbury in his style

response:

Title: "The Whispers in Mayfield"
INT. CLEAVER HOUSE - NIGHT

The Cleaver house stands silent under the full moon's watchful gaze. A wind whispers through the trees, rustling leaves like ghostly whispers. The house, usually so warm and inviting, now seems to hold secrets in every shadow.

INT. BEAVER’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Beaver, in his pajamas, lies awake in bed. The room is eerily silent, save for the soft ticking of a clock. Beaver’s eyes dart to the window as a branch scrapes against the glass.

CLOSE-UP OF BEAVER’S FACE

Beaver: (whispering to himself) Just the wind... just the wind...

Suddenly, a soft, almost imperceptible whisper fills the room. Beaver sits up, eyes wide with fear.

BEAVER'S POV - THE ROOM

Shadows dance on the walls, and the whispering grows louder, more insistent.

Whisper: (voice echoing) Beaverrrr... Beaverrrr...

INT. CLEAVER LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

June and Ward sit on the couch, reading. The atmosphere is tense, the air thick with an unspoken dread. The grandfather clock chimes ominously.

June: (looking up from her book) Ward, did you hear that?

Ward: (glancing towards the stairs) It’s probably just the house settling.

June: (uneasy) It sounded like... like someone calling Beaver's name.

Ward: (reassuringly) I'll go check on him.

INT. BEAVER’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Ward enters to find Beaver trembling in bed, his eyes fixed on the window.

Ward: (gently) What's wrong, Beaver?

Beaver: (voice shaking) There's something outside, Dad. It’s calling my name.

Ward: (calmly) It’s just your imagination. (He walks to the window and peers out.) See, nothing there.

The whispering starts again, louder this time, filling the room. Both Ward and Beaver freeze.

Whisper: (voice distorted) Beaverrrr... come outside...

EXT. CLEAVER HOUSE - NIGHT

Ward and Beaver step outside, the night air chilling them to the bone. The whispering is now a cacophony, coming from all directions.

CLOSE-UP OF THE TREE

A dark figure, almost invisible against the night, stands by the large oak tree in the yard. Its eyes gleam with a sinister light.

WARD AND BEAVER’S POV

The figure beckons with a skeletal hand, the shadows around it writhing like living things.

Ward: (firmly) Stay behind me, Beaver.

Beaver: (terrified) What is it, Dad?

Ward: (grimly) I don’t know, but we’re going back inside.

As they turn to retreat, the whispering reaches a fever pitch. The ground beneath their feet shifts, becoming soft and malleable like quicksand. Ward struggles to move, his feet sinking.

EXT. CLEAVER HOUSE - NIGHT

June, watching from the window, sees her husband and son struggling. She rushes outside, but the door slams shut behind her, trapping her inside. She bangs on the door, screaming.

June: Ward! Beaver!

EXT. CLEAVER HOUSE - NIGHT

Ward lifts Beaver, struggling to free himself from the earth's grasp. The dark figure moves closer, its features becoming more defined—a ghastly visage of death.

CLOSE-UP OF THE FIGURE

Its mouth opens, revealing rows of sharp teeth. The whispering ceases, replaced by a guttural growl.

Figure: (hissing) The boy is mine...

Ward: (desperately) Run, Beaver! Get help!

Beaver: (crying) I can't leave you, Dad!

Ward: (shouting) Go!

With one final effort, Ward heaves Beaver towards the house. Beaver stumbles, then runs, looking back to see the dark figure engulfing his father.

INT. CLEAVER HOUSE - NIGHT

Beaver bursts into the living room, slamming the door behind him. June rushes to him, holding him tight.

June: (frantically) What happened?

Beaver: (sobbing) It got Dad...

June: (terrified) What are you talking about?

The whispering resumes, now inside the house. The lights flicker, casting eerie shadows on the walls.

CLOSE-UP OF BEAVER AND JUNE

The shadows converge, forming the same dark figure from outside. It looms over them, its eyes burning with malice.

FINAL SHOT

The screen fades to black, the last sound being the whisper, now soft and sinister.

Whisper: (echoing) Beaver...

FADE OUT

ROLL CREDITS

THE END