Don't you just hate it when someone asks you this question?

Post Reply New Topic

I was asked the question "why are you so quiet" in former years,not lately.I'm still not very lively yet.I don't like other people telling me to smile,either.This is a wrong thing,this is pretending something.

"I'm not. Everyone else talks too much."

Wow, that's really a great response to that question. And true!

Meh, I've never been asked that question by strangers, proabablyy due to the fact that it's strangers, I therefore get nervous and when I m nervous, I do not shut up. People do say....odd things...though.
I find that if you want to understand metaphors, google is a very good resource.

Yes, I've had the "Why are you so quiet?" type of questions and comments. And I haven't really known how to answer them either, except for just going "Yeah".

Another thing I notice more is people asking why I look so sad. This has happened a lot of times, including today. Usually I'm not aware of feeling sad at those times, maybe just looking blank and emotionless.

Damn! I hated that question! I was asked that a LOT when I was younger. However the question that I hated the most was "Why don't you play with the other kids?". To me, that was equivalent to "Why don't you commit suicide?"

The questions that I get are "How is it?", "How's it going?", "How are you?" and "What's up?"
That makes me confused every time.
When someone asks "How is it?" I start wonder what they mean by "it" and when they say "How's it going?" I start thinking about what I've heard in the news lately so see if there's any wars going on or other noteworthy things going on.
"How are you?" makes me stop and do a check to see if I'm feeling alright, if I have a cold comming, my stomach feels OK, my knees hurt, if I'm tired, etc. and about a minute later, I give them a summary or scold them for asking such complicated questions.
When they ask "What's up?", I usually reply "A direction..?"

The Quiet One

http://the-who.lyrics-songs.com/lyrics/200146/

I get that question too. I also get, "Cheer up" or "Come on, things aren't that bad." I even get this from complete strangers. If I'm really honest with myself, I usually am saddened, usually because I am surrounded by NTs who I either do not understand, or I'm appalled by their behavior in some way that I cannot honestly express outloud because to do so would make the NTs angry with me.

I get that question too. I also get, "Cheer up" or "Come on, things aren't that bad." I even get this from complete strangers. If I'm really honest with myself, I usually am saddened, usually because I am surrounded by NTs who I either do not understand, or I'm appalled by their behavior in some way that I cannot honestly express outloud because to do so would make the NTs angry with me.

You could always try something along the lines of "Everyone's different, just because you don't think it's that bad doesn't mean I agree with you."
Now you have different paths you can take:
**** the consequences
Listen to their arguements, even if you don't look at them.
You can either grunt or nod to acknowledge or do a very short hum 'mmm' sort of thing.
If they say that it can't possibly be that bad, you can always say that things aren't freaky yet. If they ask you for clarification, tell them that male bajorans aren't having a sneezing fit. If they query this then tell them that pregant human females have morning sickness, bajorans have sneezing fits. The final clarfication works best when they're eating. If they tell you they didn't really want to know "Come on things aren't that bad, I could have told you about [insert something else disgusting here]"

people assume i am ina bag mood or am feeling unhappy when i withdraw and have some lion time. but infact somtime i just feel lik i need some lion time!! why do people have to assume that lion time means i am upset or disturebed?

jammie

I hated that question! I was asked that a LOT when I was younger. However the question that I hated the most was "Why don't you play with the other kids?". To me, that was equivalent to "Why don't you commit suicide?"

Same here, well apart from a very small number.

Oh gosh. The aforementioned, "Why are you so quiet?" "Why are you so sad" plus, "You look really mad." The last one occurs when I'm thinking about something really intensely.

What I really hate, after a girl I date picks a fight with me, there is a lull and she asks neurotically, "Why are you so quiet all of the sudden?" "What are you thinking?" and my personal vexation, "What are you feeling?" The last of those questions I usually can't answer because it's some cocktail of frustrations and emotions I simply can't describe, but they usually go on to accuse me of being mad at them. As a result, they intentionally escalate the fight. I can see it coming every time and I simply have never found an answer to stop it. I HATE that question.

Is it quite common for aspies to be extremely quiet? I certainly am, at least around strangers. The variation I often hear is "can you talk?".

People ask that all the time.

It's depressing to admit, but I prefer using the internet over talking in person. I can relax and communicate in my own way, without normal types constantly scanning my every movement and prodding at me.

I think we are prone to prefer the internet because it filters out all of the expression which creates most of our problems. This puts everyone else on our level, which puts us at ease and requires less concentration from us. It's much less exhausting.

Because I've become pretty functional with regular people, in recent years I've gotten to where I'll move away from a chat on AIM to a phonecall or even meeting in person. I find that I can't get everything out as fast as I want even when typing (because the poor motor skills only take you so far in typing). It's still kind of exhausting, that up front interaction with other people, but the more I had gotten better at it, the less the exhaustion outweighed the positive psychological benefits of human contact.