Reasons why William Shakespeare wouldn't survive nowadays.

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1.He doesn't know what a gun is
2. He doesn't realize that while the pen may be mightier than the sword, guns are mightier than pens. ((Rock, paper, scissors, anyone?))
3.He's way too clever - wouldn't last in school.
4.Not everywhere in England could understand him.
5. He doesn't know how to hide emotions - again, wouldn't last in school.
6. Society's attuides. Sonnets. He's male. 'Nuff said.
7. Doesn't know what a bullet is either

((Any more ideas?))

8) he'd be pretty old

he woudn't understand any furniture like sofas and toasters

11) He would be pretty computer illiterate

They had guns at that time too, though they looked a bit different of course. He was a very intelligent man. He was one of the very few who brushed their teeth in those days...

I didn't know that. I know he was a very intilligent man - in fact, I think you'll find I mentioned that in the first post. However, this is why he wouldn't survive today, not why he might.

Yes, the work is lovely but try being forced to read it. Call it a belated 'end-of-shakespeare-coursework-celebration'.

If you want to make a topic singing his praises, I won't stop you.

This thread is for a bit of good-natured extracting the michael.

He wouldn't get any writing done because he'd spend all his time surfing the net,

and,

there is no money in fine drama. He'd become a writer for some American sitcom, grow depressed, and commit suicide.

-please delete this post-

Believe it or not, this is something I've seriously thought about. I never saw any point in Shakespeare when I was forced to read it in school, but any of my favorite movies would seem pointless and boring as hell if I just read the screenplay. I'm not sure he ever even thought about anybody reading his plays; they were plays, not novels.

What I find interesting is that shakespeare was producing popular entertainment, and the average audience member back then was probably no more literarily inclined than truckstop joe or susie the realtor is today, but they enjoyed shakespeare's plays. This whole thing of shakespeare being the province of english professors is an abberition unrelated to the original.

I find it interesting that something that good could be popular. Now and then it happens.

It's all a moot point tho... he'd have no understanding of cross-SCREEECHBAM-walks.

he will not race, sex, disabilty: he will get beaten for making fun off it.

he cannot cook modern foods

he'd have to go on the dole because his work is overhyped.

Seriously, his work wouldn't be able to compete if he was bringing stuff out now.



It's just one of those things that certain groups of people say they like to appear intellectual. A lot of people take on the interests of the social group they think they belong to. At first it's a lie, but the more they read it, the more they emulate, the more it actually becomes their genuine interest. I see it all around, and the conceit usually starts at puberty.

It wasn't rather his works being intellectual, but rather making such an imprint on English literature that they have inspired countless other cultural works.

But if Willy was alive today, maybe he would survive, maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he'd make plays like Victoria, or Hitler (think Macbeth to the extreme), or he may have written for television. Imagine him writing for comedies (whoops, scratch that, everyone knows that Shakespeare comedies* aren't funny), or perhaps soapies (hmmm, yeah, that'd work), maybe even Doctor Who**.....


*Comedies, in those times, were where people triumphed over adversity, hence a lack of jokes understandable to modern times....

**Apparently Will is appearing in the second episode of the next series of Doctor Who...

He wouldn't be able to get a job because he wouldn't get through school. This is because he wouldn't be able to answer questions abouit the meaning of his plays. The following little ditty which I read somewhere years ago, and have always remembered, envisages Shakespeare coming back to life and having to go to school:

"The examination for that year
Contained a question on King Lear
Which Shakespeare answered rather badly
Because he hadn't studied Bradley"

(AC Bradley being one of the most famous commentators on the meaning of Shakespeare's plays).