Creepy Women....
I think the reason for all the confusion about "creepiness", however it is defined, between the genders, is that it is defined differently, or more vague, by men than by women. It appears to me to be a term that men (a bit of generalizing for the sake of argumentation never hurts), solely attribute to men - because they've been taught the most prevalent female definition of it - which in almost all contexts is about males.
Men (again a bit of generalization), usually never use the term about women, simply because they don't get approached as often as women do. It stems from an old "norm" in society that men are supposed to approach women, not the other way around. The woman has to play her cards really badly (or particularly deliberate) in order to come across as creepy to the average man.
In another thread, there was an example presented about unwanted attention expressed something along the lines of: "how would you act, man, if a homosexual man was standing uncomfortably close to you and you told him to remove himself, and he still stood uncomfortably close to you and started touching you etc. and later, he found out where you lived and stood in your garden trying to catch a glimpse of you through your windows?"
Well, I think the example is rather unfair. If a woman took the homosexual man's place, chances are the man would simply invite her in for "a cup of tea". (Unless, of course, he'd be sufficiently far away from the standard I'm trying to describe.)
Simply put, I don't think it's fair to get angry with men just because they don't immediately grasp the concept of creepiness. We think differently about a lot of things, and assumptions of anything else can be, and often are, very wrong.
I thank the OP for this thread, because it's been enlightening on so many levels.
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When superficiality reigns your reality, you are already lost in the sea of normality.
The reason I have been called creepy is because I was Gothy at times, (still am really). It had nothing to do with sexual advances. In fact, I have never hit on anyone. So I have to agree that we used the term differently. OF course, the Mary Kay women are creepy because they make other types of unwanted advances in order to build their MK empire.
Postures
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That would not come across as "creepy" or "scary" to me. It's what you might call a "pseudo-creepy". While many people may mistakenly think it's "creepy" it's really just eccentric. The truly "creepy" people are the ones that make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
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Not through revolution but by evolution are all things accomplished in permanency.
There is so much to this statement....
1. The vast majority of rape is date rape; stranger rape is comparatively rare. Statistically, a woman should worry more about the attractive man she agreed to date than the unattractive man she did not. Of course, most dates do not end in rape.
2. Most men aren't rapists! That doesn't mean a woman should not be careful, but I think the majority of us know that not every man whom we reject is going to come after us. They are far more likely to move on to another woman until they find one who is attracted to them. We are not "always worried."
3. Rape is about power and rage, not sex, so a woman's age isn't necessarily a factor. While more young women report rape or other forms of sexual assault than other groups (although the elderly and children are also far too often victimized), any woman can be at risk of rape.
I am not trying to attack you, but there were some assumptions in your original post that bothered me. I just wanted to express alternate views on the subjects. For the record, I do not think I am a creep magnet. I am attracted to powerfully built men, and some of them have been creeps. Some of them -- like my husband -- have not.
First of all, do you have any STATS to back up statements 1 and 3???
As for statement 1, the US Bureau of Justice statistics show that only 26% of rape is stranger rape. The percetange of rape by a current or former sexual partner is also 26%. The number of women raped by a friend or acquaintance (also often called "date rape," although "acquaintance rape" is more fitting) is the highest, at 38%. The remainder reported rape that falls under the category of "another relative." As you can see, by the statistics the US Bureau of Justice collected, most rape survivors are in fact raped by someone they know.
As for 3, no, I have no stats. I'm not even sure about how to go about gathering them. I thought this was common knowledge, so I'm ashamed not to have facts on hand. I do remember reading somewhere that convicted rapists talked about the power and sense of dominance they felt, not about a desire for sex. I'm going to try to find something to support this, because I believe it is true. I've just heard it over and over!
I said no such thing! I never said rape was uncommon, and I'm not at all sure how statement 2 would imply I thought that. Like you, I know women who have been through harrowing experiences. I bet many people on this board know someone who has been sexually assaulted in some way. I am not trying to invalidate anyone's assault or any stalking incident. I know that rape is all too common, as well as under-reported. All I am saying is that most men do not assault or stalk women.
sartresue
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I mean, can there be some link - the drive to spot every train, the drive to spend every second with this baffled and wary man... Could this be the female version? Maybe not. Maybe it's just me. I'd like to know, though.
Consumed topic
i was one of those. It stopped at menopause, but I wish it had stopped sooner. i think it had something to do with hormones and AS. I envy women who did not gave to go through this. What a waste of years fighting it, and yes \i had to fight it or the consequences would have been awful.
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