Extreme issues about breasts and female body

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A good friend of mine had similar issues. Only the other way around so to speak.
He did have a gender change from man to woman and regrets it very much since he came into contact with a good shrink.

The fact was he believed women are simply better off then men. It sounds to me you think men are better of then women. From the viewpoint of a man they do; actually. Women have way more clothes to choose from, they can dress up any way they want and still be concidered normal, as opposed to men who really can't wear tight's, skirts and heels in public. That's one example. But the most important issue is: Women just have to 'be' in order to get laid, men have way more difficulties to get a woman into bed than the other way around. Have you ever heard of a woman think about herself that way? I sure haven't. If only because women are less preoccupied with sex. That's the female wiring you are talking about. Men don't think about men the way you do... you think of men as being better because you are a heterosexual woman.

Insecurity about yourself is not a gender issue. It is about comparing yourself to others, seeing they seem happier than you and thus wanting what they have.

I can relate to you about being overly sensitive in your breasts. I have that too... i can't stand anyone lightly touching them (the thought makes me shiver, and not in a good way). Like you I'll have my husband cupping them rather firmly, at once... just to make sure he doesn't stroke them unintentionally *yikes*.

I feel similar to a lot of people who have posted here.. i was actually going to make a post about it myself before I saw this one.

I just feel.. incredibly sick of people assuming things of me just because I am a woman. Of the messages, and shame, and have-to's that men doesn't seem to have.
I don't really loathe my breasts specifically, more my fat and general femaleness and how it seems weak... I don't really associate with most women I see, quite the opposite. But neither do I feel like a man, or even want to feel like it. I'm just fed up of society and media telling me what a woman is supposed to be, because I am one and it is nothing like what they are promoting. I don't really want to have a gender..

I also get mortally sick of being told I should be a certain way because I'm a female. I'm supposed to be nurturing, I'm supposed to be really really nice and socially adept and smile all the time, I'm supposed to focus primarily on relationships and connection...Vlech. Puke. Go away.

To be fair to people though this is slowly changing. Younger women and teens show less of this attitude, and hopefully it will phase out of people's perception of the world altogether.

That said, there seems to be a new fashion for biological determinism. There is a whole genre of books by stupid medical quacks about how women and men are vastly different and can't help being wired that way, and how anyone who doesn't fit an exact gender profile is 'abnormal'. I saw one, I forget the name, that actually purported to explain 'why men want sex and women need love'. Both sexes want both sex and love, usually, and what's this about needing love? I like some social contact but I am certainly not suffering for want of being 'in love'. It's alarming how even mature and competent adults eat up this hyperbole and accept it as fact. Many people are so easily molded by what others tell them. O_O.

Oya, I "love" books and articles what tell me I'm asexual and cold. And I can't read maps, but I love gossip, meetings and soap operas. And I can think only about men and if I am sexy enough... or maybe my best friend, this b**ch?

But I am not asexual, no way. I may seem cold, because of AS. I love maps, I am usually a navigator because of spatial thinking and GPS inside. I recognize colours very well, because I'm visual thinker. But I don't remember their names the same as people's names. Gossip and soap operas make me sick. Men ARE and nothing more.

I am more male than female. I have a typically male cognitive profile. I live like a male and dress like one, although a quite androgynous one: I occasionally wear eye liner and earrings. I am also bisexual. If there were an opportunity to choose to start over, I would just choose a male body because it would suit me more. I do not want to alter the current one. I cannot bear to have anything changed or removed; even blemishes I hate.

I feel entirely natural living as mostly male. I am very isolated, which helps. The way females are portrayed feels very alien to me and I cannot relate to it; there is an extreme emphasis on appearance and youth. I mentioned this once to a mental health professional but he ignored it. I explore and experiment with my gender a lot more these days and do not deny either my male or female sides or allow outside messages to interfere.

This is the best thread ever.

I'm not against being female, I wouldn't change sex, no way. But I'm against stupid thinking that I can't count or use maps, because I'm a girl. And that recognizing colours is stupid... why?!
I have heard one day: if men had a period, it would be a sacrament. Don't feel worse, dear girls!



Oh, if about period... I was taught what-is-what when I was about 5. But when I had it first time, I was a little disgusted - oh s**t, I'm not Mensch-Maschine! Kind of loss, so I didn't want any celebration or sth.

Seems like there's a lot of shame in this thread about being female.

Perhaps some of us including females think females are suppose to behave or act a certain way????

Anyway I never really identified myself as being very feminine or at least the kind feminine I see on tv and read in magazines and books. Yes there are times I envy the way some women look on TV or at least wish I looked like archetype men find attractive. On the otherhand, I realize it can attract the wrong type of men which unfortunately even I've experienced more than my fair share.

Internally I never identified as being the "mommy" type, gold digger, or sex pot . I do however find myself identifying almost exclusively with the male characters I see in movies or in books. The type of male characters that are smart and get away with being odd or a bit eccentric. I've never been the one to get in dramas or really fit in with the sociological archetype of women in general. Oddly though I never did make many female friends. It seems even with the lack of friendships, I end up having more guy friends. Not sure exactly why. I do have a strong sexual drive but I'm not the so-called "slu*ty" type who's out and about hooking up with men. So I don't think I've been able to give myself a gender label. I'd like to think of myself as a little bit of both, yen and yang.

I have just had one of my "I hate being female" moments...

Long and excessively detailed story short, my mom needed a heavy stone garden ornament moving, and my disgusting soft incubator-body doesn't have the contractile strength to do it myself...so...she asked this guy to do it.

I was standing outside watching him lift it...and I just died inside. I know this is trivial and I shouldn't be so pissed about it, but I am. I hated watching him effortlessly lift a big hunk of stone without hurting himself when I can't. I would love to have that kind of power. Never have to ask anyone for help.

And I ran off to the bathroom to calm down, and I was looking at myself in the mirror, and I just saw this pathetic soft-bodied maggot-creature, a useless fragile waterbag with no function but to be impregnated and pump out babies. And I flipped out, and grabbed a handful of my own arm and dug my nails in as if my skin were my most hated enemy, and I now have 2 lovely visible marks that look as if made by an animal's claws, which I shall have to cover over with my sleeve...

And the one reason I am not flipping out yet again is my young cat is sitting next to me. She's my baby, my daemon. I have no hate in me when I'm around her.

So yeah. I am pissed off at being born into a pathetic soft body that is made for having babies and not for anything useful. I feel like Agent Smith when he was transferred into a human body...'...being encased in this piece of meat...the stink of it filling every breath...nothing this weak is meant to survive.'

Just because you are female doesn't mean that you are weak or couldn't lift that heavy stone. You simply haven't trained your body to do it.

I'm a female & I can lift heavy stuff and I do martial arts. There is nothing about my body that is preventing me from doing anything I want to do.

mechanicalgirl,

I've just seen your post and I want to offer my empathy for you feeling so bad.

I can't stand it when people even assume that I can't lift something. If anyone gives me a chance, I will try to lift anything put in front of me - I've had some very scary experiences where I've been in danger of breaking my back and once to my eternal shame I dropped someone's computer monitor - those big old CRTs are a bugger - and broke it.

Usually I just struggle, narrowly avoiding destruction of the object/myself/both. It is silly and I shouldn't do it - not because of my gender as such but just because I have, like everyone, a limit to what I can safely and comfortably lift! However, I keep doing it because I am convinced that if I can't lift anything then everyone will label me WEAK WOMAN in their minds.

I feel sad reading your post because it is antithetical to your previous ones about doing sport and feeling strong ... Maybe what you need to focus on is the fact that not all men would have been able to lift the garden thing. If you are in good shape then you are already doing better than a great percentage of the population, male or female!

I have a dream of getting my energy back (I have fatigue issues on top of the rest ... sigh), starting to run and swim and lift weights and getting my body as lithe and hard and muscular as I sensibly can ... as "unfeminine", if you want to put it that way ... but ultimately I am still such a small person (5'5", short arms, short legs) and I envy people (it is usually men) who have nice big long legs and arms. Having long arms really helps with carrying things. You don't have to be that strong to carry something safely and comfortably if you have long enough arms to get a good grip and hold it steady.

I'm sorry you feel so bad and I hope that you are feeling better now and seeing things from a wider perspective

I feel the same way as Mechanicalgirl and Anomie...

It's also so unfair that an untrained guy can still be stronger than a woman who works out. I can work out like crazy and still only be average in their world. It bugs me as I love martial art.. I can train with guys, but should it turn serious our should I want to do full contact I wouldn't stand a chance. It feels like this effing wall; I'll never be one of them because they don't think I can hold my own.. and I probably wouldn't be able to. Sometimes I feel like they just play along and make stuff easier for me and it kills me.

And the idea that my body is supposed to be able to make babies freak me out. I can only imagine the feeling of loosing control and this thing getting the better of you. It even changes your brain chemistry among other things it makes you more inclined to take risks with your own life should your kid be in danger. I'm not saying it's wrong.. but it's scary and I don't want any part of it. It feels.. parasitic. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone by saying it like this.
I use the pill so I won't have to get my period (witch just reminds me of the weakness associated with being female), and the fact that the pill fools your body into thinking it is pregnant is something I'm still getting used to.

It also feels very devaluating. Like I'm only worth what i can press out and not what I actually do. Especially since so much advice that is aimed at me as a woman is in case I get a kid.. like piercings and food and medication and life choices and gahh.. It's not like I identify with being male more than I do with being female, but it must be so freeing not to have this thrown at you all the time! I can't stand the moralization and the assumptions that that is what I should do.

Not all untrained guys are stronger than women who train. There are some guys out there who are, for a better word, kinda wimpy & couldn't lift anything remotely heavy to save themselves. Also, it's testosterone that really builds muscle, so yes, women are at a disadvantage. Yes, it can be annoying, but I refuse to beat myself up over something I can't change.

There are women out there who can lift amazing amount of weight and yes, some of that is due to genetics, but most of it is due to really hard work. My girlfriend started weight training about 2 years ago and she can now deadlift about 120kg (264lbs). I would like to see someone call her weak simply because she is female.

We might not be as strong as the men, but we are by no means absolutely incompetent either.

I have no desire to have my own biological kids, but I don't hate myself because my body has that ability. For some women it is a very powerful thing to be able to create life and that is a very good thing. It just simply isn't that way for me. The sooner my periods decide to stop, the happier I would be. They are so inconvenient.

Also, try to see what it must be like for a guy who isn't strong being shown pictures all day of men with big muscles and being taunted cause they can't carry heavy things. Life isn't always better on the other side, it is just different.

I'm not trying to make light of anyone's issues here saying that they don't matter. But I feel it may help to realise that people see things differently to the way you do and maybe understanding that might help you to reach some self-acceptance.