Extreme issues about breasts and female body

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It sounds like you are transgendered. Most ftm trans people I know, don't want ops. Have you considered taking testosterone?

I'm not really transgender, just mentally 'androgyne' rather than fully female.

I felt like that since I was a kid. I loved the idea of being a 'hybrid', neither male nor female, with qualities of both.

I don't like the idea of taking testosterone. My sex drive is already higher than I'd like...

Me too. Like Marylin Manson's Mechanical Animals.
And I hate my drives, because I'm single and it makes me mad. When I think that some married women have constant headache...
I'd gladly give someone a little bit of testosterone, I wouldn't have acne. I look like 15 y.o. with oily hair and acne. I'm on the Contrapills because of it... and it makes me pissed off and sometimes meltdown, I'd prefer NORMAL reason!

I can actually relate to waht you say, My mum wanted to do the same, because she thought just because my soster(4 years my senior) wants tight stuff etc, (and she fought so hard for it) I would want it too, but I wouldnt want it at all. I don't have an issue with any of my body parts though.(I also looked for a more mechanical-mathmatical career /studies, but I suck at mathematics unfortunately) but I am still at least interested in how things work. Since I have small boobs, (and they were always small and they only developed when I was about 13/14, I don#t need bras either.and I am oftten confused for a boy especially when I had short hair, because I also prefer loose clothes . (mostly it goes with looking young too, so on occassion I got ask for a childs ticket for the bus , which is only until 14 year and I am over 20 years old )

So I would just suggest some counselling , b a psychiatrist for you original poster.

Oh, yes, I can relate.
I think my gender identification issues got less when I learnt to accept averages and stereotypes as what they are, and that there is no actual need to identify with them; and when I decided that even though I was unhappy with who I was, it didn't mean that changing my gender would make me any happier: I have a fluctuating gender identity. I also realized it would be hell of a lot more difficult to learn all the socialization of a functional 'male' in comparision to learn to function as a 'female' simply because I grew up as 'female'.
With this in mind, I somehow stopped worrying about the topic. I'm myself. I happen to have two X chromosomes. My spatial intelligence beats the majority of males, and my verbal intelligence beats the majority of females. My interests, skills and weaknesses are not chosen by gender or gender role, but by by whatever odds came together to form me. Maybe this makes me more difficult for others to deal with, but I am sick of trying to restrict myself just to fit a cultural stereotype. Wasted energy, wasted talent.
Yes, I'm rambling. But somehow, my hatred of myself 'as a woman' disappeared over time as I became more accepting of being 'myself'.
Well, until the next time I pms ...

Exercise does help. Taking good care of one's body also does. (Think: Well-used tool.)

>The way females are portrayed feels very alien to me and I cannot relate to it; there is an extreme emphasis on appearance and youth. I mentioned this once to a mental health professional but he ignored it.

That reminds me of a psychiatrist I went to when I was about 20 or so. I used to wear work pants and thrift store shirts and used to get mistaken for a male. And I haven't "improved" much except where necessary for occasions. Anyway, he asked me "What are you going to look like when you're 40?" Like myself, I thought. Anyway, I found out years later when I met someone who was going mtf, the psychiatrist went on to work at the gender reassignment clinic in town.

Some (short) thoughts on the thread thus far:

1) If you're female and you don't like that people notice your body first, then dress conservatively. Problem solved.

2) If you're female and you think even a weak guy can beat you up physically, this can be helped. While "average" female wouldn't fare well against an "average" male, you can tilt things severely in your favor by studying methods of minimizing size difference and maximizing your natural advantage of having strong legs, agility, and lower center of gravity.

Most people are untrained. If you train in something seriously, you get your power back, to a degree. For example, Brazilian JiuJitsu is well suited to stopping rape, and its mechanics are proven to negate size difference against the untrained.

I don't agree that the problem is solved by dressing conservatively. I think people still look at your body/appearance, they just think different things about it, like "don't fancy yours much" or "is she a dyke?". I think that no matter how a woman looks, the way she looks will always be an issue, because it's attractive or because it's not. A man can wear casual, comfy clothes and no-one will think anything at all about how he looks (unless he is in a business meeting or something like that of course, but I'm thinking of a normal situation). If a woman wears them she is "letting herself go" - in some people's minds anyway.

I DO agree with the stuff about exercise and martial arts - always have done - I just wish I had the energy to put it into practice!

I had "cherry pit tits" 'till I got pregnant. Was a 34B in High School; am currently somewhere in the neighborhood of 44DD? Can't wear bras anymore, due to scoliosis; the bra strap digs into my rt shoulder & my arm goes numb for the next day! So, I "go commando" on top (I wear a men's tank-top t-shirt as a bra substitute--just in case I pop a critical button!). My line of work requires me to wear men's-style clothes, which results in me getting called "sir" on an annoyingly regular basis. My hair length doesn't matter; even when it was down to my hips, I *STILL* got called "sir"

I've discovered that masquerading as a man is a huge asset in my job, as many of my customers come from cultures in which women are mindless brood stock.

Always hated having periods; the Depo shot was great, but for the weight it caused me to gain. 40+ years now...still waiting for them to quit!

Thought about sex-change surgery, but having tried a testosterone shot once (just for s**ts & giggles; stole a dose from hubby); & was glad I stayed female. That needle is BIG (22-25 gauge)& the injection can be painful. (Coming from a diabetic, that's saying a lot!) Getting that shot every 2 weeks? I'll put up with being female, in spite of the inconveniences.

Periods are indeed vile. So is what fluctuating hormones do to your body and brain. I normally have good verbal skills, but they DIE on me in the late half of a menstrual cycle. I go to describe something and all that comes into my head is visual symbols...and all that comes out of my mouth is disjointed nonsense.

I love when my periods shut down for months at a time. I don't care if it is a 'health problem'. I feel myself again without them.

You wear definitely wrong bra size. Straps aren't made to give support. Band supports 90% of boobs weight. If it's too loose, boobs start to hang on straps and make pain.
There's no reason to fear of bras. They're only clothes, not torture-machines. If they are torture, change them to Perfect Support Machines, I can tell you how to do it:

Look to Bras Thread here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp2695671.html#2695671
There's also a website about brafitting in my signature: http://tinyurl.com/toobigtoosmall - because many women wear too big band size and too small cup size. I was one of them too, I changed 34DD to 30J, now I forget I have boobs.

Check it out and enjoy!
My Mum was wearing sizes like 40E. Now she has 34K and no problems with bust weight or shoulders-breaking straps.

I have made a decision to go to Karate lessons

I really hope I can commit to it as I think it will help in many ways. Sport and martial arts have been mentioned a lot in this thread and that makes perfect sense to me as I understand a little of how the mind and body are two sides of the same coin and if you feel physically energetic, co-ordinated, skilled and powerful then you will have a positive mental state and vice versa. The health of the body and the health of the attitude towards the body ... mechanicalgirl especially, you have the sort of attitude I mean, at least in your positive moments ...

Today I'm off work due to insomnia after a meltdown last night and have been lying in bed all day watching Bad Girls (gotta love that) and drinking Polish lager (ditto) so it might be a load of bollocks, this karate thing, but I really hope I can do it. Even if I sit out a lot at first (am very unfit due to fatigue problems and too much booze) and miss every second class it does not matter becuase I know that if I can commit to it and make it stick then I will start to excel at it in my own way as I become involved, the way I have done with other things, e.g. computers which I knew nothing about 2 years ago and now I am programming telephone systems (when I can make it to work, that is).

That's great to hear, Anomie! Good luck and make sure you find a good karate school. Don't be afraid to ask them about their training methods. (some schools are a bit crap and will just have you doing robotic drills for hours on end..)

I managed to bench my own weight today.



Not just a baby machine, then.

Also managed to do the cat-like parkour jump ("king kong vault") I've been trying to do for ages.

What being a woman is to me topic

When I was in my early teen years 13-15 I felt very negative about my body because \i was very self conscious about the physical changes. Unlike many here, I was not large breasted, large boned or tall. I suppose one might say I flew under the radar. Perhaps wearing glasses helped.

I have three children but I do not define myself by offspring, vaginas, breasts, hips, etc. I have always been uncomfortable with women who flaunted their appearance for attention; I still do. I find shemales and cross dressers laughable, though I do not discriminate; rather, I find it ludicrous their version of femininity. If that is what it means to be a woman, forget it. (Same with "he-men"; sexual extremes are, in my opinion, ridiculous role playing.)

Being a woman is something more political, and as i grow older, the politics of femininity are more interesting in an abstract way--the history of women, societal roles, subjugation--not because of body shape but because of the power imbalance, and destructive role playing. The literature is fascinating.

I have always found I am at odds with my desires and power imbalance: Not wanting to be seen as weak, I would keep this aspect of my life private, and was never interested in a partner. As a woman and aspie I knew that having an equal relationship with a man in real life would be next to impossible. In theory, yes, but not in practice. Only very well educated, wealthy and assertive NT women seemed to manage this. I became content with my solitary, androgynous life, not worrying about my body or getting a partner.

Since menopause, I see my body as housing for my mind, emotions, and life itself. Without it functioning correctly, I would not still be alive, and I choose life at this point in time. My nonsexuality means I can now truly be myself, as a woman, and as AS.

I hope the others here find peace with themselves sooner than I did, as I was not comfortable with myself until about three years ago.