Dealing with a friend getting married

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For the past two years, I have known a friend who has dated a wonderful gentleman with a great personality who treats her friends with respect and I like him a lot. I have also been close to this girl friend for the last 5 years and she means the world to me. However, I have had a really hard time ever since that they got engaged and for the last 8 months, they have done nothing but do things around the wedding. As happy as I am for this friend who deserves prince charming, I have really felt left out. I am still single and I feel and I don't know what it is like to be with the significant other as I have never had a guy on my arms. Anyway, I feel like because they are really busy for this wedding that she really doesn't have time for me anymore. For instance, I recently moved into my own place about a year ago and had a house warming party and asked her to come over and help me set up. However, she went to look at wedding gowns that day and picked one out and had some other issues going on. So, they happened to come later and then left abruptly because her fiancee wanted to leave and get some other stuff done such as pay her father back for the gown.

I feel like all she does if talk about that stupid wedding and in some way or another I feel left out. I also have been feel like she is more interested in her fiancee than she is in her own friends which includes myself. For instance, it was my birthday yesterday, and my friend had a bride's maid luncheon for us and it was really nice and we each got nice little gift for the event and for keep sake. However, I was a little upset and jealous because the whole event seemed to revolve around her and anything that dealt with the wedding and no one got me any cards or gifts or wished me happy birthday and so I was upset.

I just feel like every time we get together that I seem to be getting mad at her because I feel like she is less interested in me than she used to be ever since she has met the right one.



Has anyone else felt the same way?

it is understandable to feel left out in that situation when someone finds the right one and as a result pays less attention to their friends then before.

Planning a wedding can be an extremely stressful and time-consuming event, especially if you do it alone, like I did. My wedding was fairly large and traditional, so there was a lot to do, coordinate, and plan. I'm not a naturally organized person, so having to be totally organized for 15 months, not to mention organizing the vendors, and organizing things for the 100+ guests nearly drove me insane. There were times I broke down and cried, and moments when I completely understood why people elope! If your friend is planning this all herself, she's probably depending a good deal on her fiance right now. I know there were times when my husband (then fiance) was the only person who could stave off a meltdown! (At the same time, I overall enjoyed the planning and wish I could do it more often.)

It's a little odd that they held her shower on your birthday. People probably didn't want her to think that you were stealing her thunder, and that's why they didn't mention your birthday. When I got engaged, my husband and I didn't tell anyone for a few days because we got engaged right before my brother's and sister's baby shower for my oldest nephew. We didn't want any focus on us on their special day -- we told his mom and my parents and that was it until the day after the shower, when we made a general announcement. (My engagement ring is non-traditional, so it wasn't a giveaway.) Maybe you could plan a little party for yourself sometime soon, a belated birthday with a small group of friends? A bridal shower is supposed to be all about the bride; probably the other guests thought you didn't mind your birthday being ignored at the shower so the focus could be on the bride-to-be!

Here's the good news: after the wedding, the honeymoon, and the honeymoon stage (the endorphin-high takes a while to wear off), she'll settle happily into a marriage. Marriage is work -- sometimes hard work -- but it's not as all-consuming as planning a wedding. (Which is funny, since the marriage is the important part!) She'll have lots of time then and she'll want to spend some of it with you. Right now, her life is all about the wedding and her husband-to-be, and while that's annoying, it won't be that way forever. Smile and bear it for now, be happy for your friend, and stick with her no matter what. I know once my husband and I had settled into the rhythm of married life, we were happy to get out and do the things we always did with our friends!

Planning a wedding can be an extremely stressful and time-consuming event, especially if you do it alone, like I did. My wedding was fairly large and traditional, so there was a lot to do, coordinate, and plan. I'm not a naturally organized person, so having to be totally organized for 15 months, not to mention organizing the vendors, and organizing things for the 100+ guests nearly drove me insane. There were times I broke down and cried, and moments when I completely understood why people elope! If your friend is planning this all herself, she's probably depending a good deal on her fiance right now. I know there were times when my husband (then fiance) was the only person who could stave off a meltdown! (At the same time, I overall enjoyed the planning and wish I could do it more often.)

It's a little odd that they held her shower on your birthday. People probably didn't want her to think that you were stealing her thunder, and that's why they didn't mention your birthday. When I got engaged, my husband and I didn't tell anyone for a few days because we got engaged right before my brother's and sister's baby shower for my oldest nephew. We didn't want any focus on us on their special day -- we told his mom and my parents and that was it until the day after the shower, when we made a general announcement. (My engagement ring is non-traditional, so it wasn't a giveaway.) Maybe you could plan a little party for yourself sometime soon, a belated birthday with a small group of friends? A bridal shower is supposed to be all about the bride; probably the other guests thought you didn't mind your birthday being ignored at the shower so the focus could be on the bride-to-be!

Here's the good news: after the wedding, the honeymoon, and the honeymoon stage (the endorphin-high takes a while to wear off), she'll settle happily into a marriage. Marriage is work -- sometimes hard work -- but it's not as all-consuming as planning a wedding. (Which is funny, since the marriage is the important part!) She'll have lots of time then and she'll want to spend some of it with you. Right now, her life is all about the wedding and her husband-to-be, and while that's annoying, it won't be that way forever. Smile and bear it for now, be happy for your friend, and stick with her no matter what. I know once my husband and I had settled into the rhythm of married life, we were happy to get out and do the things we always did with our friends!