I'm done with this BS!! !!
xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,906
Location: In my imagination
Girly-girl is rubbish!
Some boys (who can still be perfect) don't like girly-girl.
I prefer to laze around in jeans, boots and play video games and watch horror movies.
I sympathize with your situation. That's one of the main reasons why I'm trying to lose weight and dress nicer. I just want someone to give me a f*****g chance but I guess they all look at me and go "ewww, she's fat. Next!" and not even consider my personality at all. The ones that I have dated were just manipulating me for their own entertainment. They never loved me and I won't be surprised if no one ever will.
LOL..I'm sorry but you know I tried it myself. I'm sorry it's not working for you, I could never get comfortable at all with this aspect. Frankly I've learned a lot since I was teenager when it comes to gender roles and sexual orientations. Most of our interactions not emotions are how we correspond to how society deems acceptaple and not acceptable but I think we're beginning to learn from that...
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I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan
I'm the exact same way. I actually envy some of my Aspie sisters who enjoy putting on makeup and wearing girly dresses and skirts. I don't. I just want to do the bare minimum so I can look good enough to get on a guy's radar (or a girl's, although women seem to be harder to figure out). Fortunately, people tell me I'm pretty without all that stuff. But what's gonna happen to me when I get older (assuming I'm not married or partnered by then)? I hope I'm not just delaying the inevitable.
You wouldn't want a guy who wants a girly girl anyways. It took me awhile to establish a relationship with a person who didn't think they would be that guy who would make me dress up for him. My boyfriend hates makeup and dressing up although is okay with curling hair as long as it doesn't involve hair products (4 years and still going very well). The previous guy I dated for a month asked me directly to wear makeup and dress up. I dumped him two days after that. Most of my relationships didn't last more than 3 months (literally on the dot) because at first they noticed me because I wasn't girly girl and thought if they gave me confidence I would blossom. They learned quickly that it was my confidence that caused me to walk around in public in pajamas and no makeup. It takes time sorting through the creeps but I finally found someone who accepted me as I was.
What's perfect?
And yeah, contrary to what the guys think, you can be Megan Fox and sit there out in the open forever and no one will ask you out except maybe the creepo with the beer belly who is old enough to be your father.
Have you ever considered a heavy guy? My husband was a nice, round ball when I met him and I had a whole lot of junk in my trunk. But we lost all our weight for health reasons and we did it together at Weight Watchers and at a local gym. BUT don't think for a second that if you did become thin, you wouldn't get your heart broken. After we lost the weight, there was a whole lot of jealousy on both sides because we were getting a LOT more attention from the opposite sex. We fought a lot. The solution was marriage. That was my idea. He didn't say no.
Also, we both aspie.
Have you ever considered a heavy guy? My husband was a nice, round ball when I met him and I had a whole lot of junk in my trunk. But we lost all our weight for health reasons and we did it together at Weight Watchers and at a local gym. BUT don't think for a second that if you did become thin, you wouldn't get your heart broken. After we lost the weight, there was a whole lot of jealousy on both sides because we were getting a LOT more attention from the opposite sex. We fought a lot. The solution was marriage. That was my idea. He didn't say no.
Also, we both aspie.
The first guy I dated was heavy. He was just playing the "how many things can I do to piss her off before she breaks up with me game." So heavy guys can be douches too. I know that I would still get my heartbroken but I feel like I would register as an option for more people. A few of my friends said that they picture me as remaining celibate because they never could imagine me having sex with someone. Gee, thanks guys. I don't know if they meant it in a joking sort of way but it still hurt a bit. :/
If you have to pretend to be someone/something else to get the guy then sooner or later you will realise that guy is not for you.
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door," he used to say. "You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.
"How can it not know what it is?"
Girly stuff don't have to be uncomfortable. I wear feminine clothes that are all cotton or silk. Nothing tight or scratchy. I wear flats and wear glasses and feel quite feminine. Don't pretend to be someone else, you'll only attract the wrong sort of guy. I think some guys are a bit intimidated by girls who dress too well, being with someone who dress clean and comfortable can be a relief.
I have alway been very confused by gender impositions of any kind.
It never made sense why society should determin which shoes I wear and which shoes my brother wears and that I wear shoes for this job and he wears shoes for that job
(heels vs steel toe boots example)
and this follows for just about every gender stereotype out there . . . why? - so far I have found no satisfying answers.
I do understand sex (male and female) and the biological differences between the sexes - but gender has always seemed to be a particularily stupid construct.
I would mark any potential "boyfriend" propogating such nonsense as far from perfect.
I found the perfect boyfriend - he was my best freind for many years and we continued to get closer untill we wanted to have kids together - not that kids is everybody's goal but I think "best friends" is the place to start. If he can't be a best freind, then he has no potential to be a boyfreind - maybe a fu*k freind but not a boyfreind.
If he wants to change you then he's already not happy with you and you have a responsibility to cut him loose so he can go find someone who does make him happy.