Do aspie females seek relationships with aspie males?

Page 4 of 5 [ 65 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next


Ladies, do you prefer aspie or NT partner?
Aspie 32%  32%  [ 59 ]
NT 18%  18%  [ 33 ]
I'm male/don't care/show me the results 49%  49%  [ 90 ]
Total votes : 182

Zemashumashu
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2013
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 36

01 Feb 2013, 9:47 am

Erisad wrote:
I don't pursue aspies specifically but I do go after the geeky type. :)


Same here. I don't specifically seek out men with aspie traits. But in NT relationships I always felt overwelmed by the amount of time spent socializing and doing familiy stuff. I was fatiqued all the time and spent lots of time in bed after those interactions. In hind sight I can't believe my boyfriends put up with that. My current boyfriend is pretty geeky and I met him at my IT job. He has some aspie traits but he is way better at getting social cues than I am. I still get tired all the time but he is very understanding about that :).


_________________
We shall not speak of rules until they are broken, once rules are broken rule-breakers will be retroactively penalized.


Rose_in_Winter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 741
Location: Kansas City, MO

02 Feb 2013, 12:23 am

BanjoGirl wrote:
The aspie girl that wants protection and someone "to lead" her in the social situations will search a strong NT guy, the aspie girl that wants to protect or at least have a partner with similar traits as her and doesn't have the necessity to improve her social skills, will search aspies or introverted NT's.


I fall in between these extremes. When going into a new social situation, I will quiz my strong, extroverted NT husband on appropriate social behavior. I share my thoughts with him ahead of time. I call him my "pocket neurotypical." In that way, he does "lead" me socially.

However, we don't tend to hang out together at social events. He's very extroverted, so moves from group to group or conversation to conversation with ease. I'm more likely to wind up in a situation where a lot of talking isn't required -- playing a board came, card game, or video game, or having one long conversation with one person all evening. (I have learned how to give and take and not monopolize a conversation -- it took a lot of work, but I'm much better at it now.) When we are actually in a social situation, I don't want or need him to lead me. I don't want or need protection, but I do like having him around to give me advice. (Or step on my foot when I'm out of control.) I don't want to protect him, either; I want us to be equals, working together to create a harmonious whole.

I have never dated a fellow Aspie. I have a few Aspie friends, and some of them have been interested in a romantic relationship, but I never returned the interest. I guess I'm drawn to NT guys. My suspicion is that it has to do with my parents and their marriage. They are both introverted NTs -- but my mom does a great job of acting extroverted, while my father has learned to be a good listener. They have a strong, supportive, happy marriage. They are still in love after 42 years of marriage. I am a great deal like my dad, which is fine with me. I think that, knowing how much I am like my father, I sought out someone a great deal like my mother, under the subconscious assumption that the two types guarantee a great marriage. Seems to be working so far!



Tyri0n
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)

23 Feb 2013, 11:32 pm

Does dating a fellow aspie make you insecure? Or is it just a male thing to feel that way?

I was surprised that so many people voted here that they would prefer another aspie as a partner.



Wrackspurt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 733

24 Feb 2013, 8:40 am

The people I have been attracted to are all so different from each other, there is far more involved in attraction than just an NT or spectrum thing.



Webalina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jul 2012
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 787
Location: Piney Woods of East Texas

28 Feb 2013, 10:42 pm

I don't intentionally seek out Aspie males, but I seem to be attracted to them because of what I find attractive in men in general -- very intelligent and well-read, quirky sense of humor, love to get into debates and long discussions about obscure subjects, have something he's passionate about, whether that be a hobby or a cause; someone not interested in parties or barhopping but would rather stay home and watch movies; and I think guys who wear glasses are kind of sexy. So there you go -- the perfect Aspie male.



Hermissinglink
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 3 Jul 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 39
Location: Oslo, Norway

19 Aug 2016, 1:11 pm

I don´t care. I would love a person that accept me, but if he is aspie or nt does not mather.



YippySkippy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,986

20 Aug 2016, 2:56 pm

I could never be in a relationship with someone who didn't enjoy sci fi and fantasy books/movies/video games.
That in itself rules out a significant portion of the NT population, and virtually all uber-NT men.



FluttercordAspie93
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Sep 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,374
Location: San Antonio, TX

11 Sep 2016, 11:19 am

I think it depends on the person, really... Some Aspie females may prefer the company of an NT, while others would like to be understood better by getting together with someone else on the spectrum.

Personally, for me, I feel like I'd do better with an NT man, (although, that's not to say that I don't find some things about Aspie males to be unattractive), it's just that I feel it would be the most beneficial for me. For example, he'd be able to get me out of my shell a lot more often, as well as getting myself to open up to newer things.



lidsmichelle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 686
Location: South-eastern Washington

11 Sep 2016, 11:23 pm

I voted don't care. I'm currently dating a guy who is also aspies, but I've also dated NT people. I like this guy better, but I also have a more solid starting relationship with him (also... Aquarius/Sagittarius).


_________________
Herein You Will Find Various And Numerous And Innumerable Hexes, Curses, Words In The Old Tongue To Cleave A’Twain Friend, Foe, Family Alike. If You So Choose. Money Hates Me, God Hates Me, My Wife Hates Me, My Own Hands Hate Me. But Thats All Beside The Point. The Point Is That My Time Here On Earth Runs Short. Im Not Dying But You All Are. Im A Glass Of Wine. Nothing Beats A Glass Of Wine. When The Kids Arent Home And Your A Mother Theres A Glass Of Wine There. A Glass Coffee Table And I’m A Glass Of Wine. Stressful Day When The Kids And you're Husband Then Glass Of Wine. Dark Chocolate Indulge. Petty Indulgences. When you're A Glass Of Wine And Let The Body’s Hit The Floor. When Your Glass Of Wine Is Running Short And You Say Heck What Of It. Why Dont I Have Another. Bartender I Am A Glass Of Wine. Bottoms Up And The Devil Laughs. The Bartender Remembers When It Happened. They All Remember When It Happened And If They Knew That You Dont Remember Then They Would Know That Something Is Awry Here Or So They Would Think. Something Would Be Amiss Or Smells Fishy. So Theyre All Relating There Stories Of Where They Were When That Event Happened And The Eyes Move Clockwise About The Room Where We All Share Our Glass Of Wine And Suddenly The Clock Ticks To You And They Ask The Fatal Question That Destroys Your Reputation, The Question You Could Never Answer, The Dead Giveaway: Where Were You When The Bodies Hit The Floor


Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 45,577
Location: Houston, Texas

12 Sep 2016, 12:00 am

I would imagine everybody will have their own preferences.


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!

Now proficient in ChatGPT!


Clakker
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 153
Location: Back to RL, Bye

12 Sep 2016, 12:49 am

I've been a member of at least three autism dating sites and my profiles didn't rise to the occasion. I'm still hoping there's a girlsperger out there for me. Why? I imagine it'll be wonderful not to have to always try to figure her out because she'll tell me who she is and what she wants.


_________________
”Clockmakers Lie.” The secret clakker greeting in "The Alchemy Wars" a Trilogy by Ian Tregillis


Jaylynna
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 9 Sep 2016
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 15

12 Sep 2016, 4:01 pm

I haven't dated much, but I did date an Aspie male once (dating him was what clued me in to my own Aspie traits). Honestly, and you can call me a hypocrite for this, I didn't like it. He was great at first: super gregarious, childlike, and fun. However, after a while I started to get tired of his own repetitiveness, inability to focus his attention on me when I needed it, and lack of ability to take charge. He wasn't very intellectual, either, which I felt I needed in a man. He also became super clingy, and I need ample time to be alone.

I know every Aspie male is different, and if the chance came again in the future to date another I wouldn't say no, but he specifically was too childish for me. Since I am more childlike myself I felt I needed someone in whom I could take refuge and trust to guide me when I'm not sure what to do (socially, especially). As it stands now, I am dating an NT male, and I love him and trust him very much. He's a smart, technically minded engineer who is very savvy about how things works, and lets me be me.


_________________
My momma told me I could be anything I set my mind to, so I became a recluse


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,488
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

12 Sep 2016, 4:08 pm

YippySkippy wrote:
I could never be in a relationship with someone who didn't enjoy sci fi and fantasy books/movies/video games.
That in itself rules out a significant portion of the NT population, and virtually all uber-NT men.



Yeah I'd have a hard time in a relationship with someone not interested at all in those things, the other big one is metal music...a guy who doesn't like it certainly probably wouldn't accompany me to concerts or want to listen to it when we're just hanging out. Luckily I found someone who likes all three of those things.


_________________
We won't go back.


AnodyneInsect
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2016
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 70
Location: Pennsylvania

17 Oct 2016, 12:17 pm

I looked for someone I could identify with. Turns up we are both Aspies.



candleghost
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 72
Location: Silent Hill

17 Oct 2016, 8:39 pm

I've only dated two guys, one was aspie and one wasn't. I'd probably prefer to be with an aspie again. Both were not the healthiest of relationships, however, so I hope to experience a healthy relationship next time, aspie or not.



bluevector
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 18 Oct 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 18
Location: uk

19 Oct 2016, 5:22 am

My current partner is Aspie, and by far the most healthy relationship I've ever had, he understands more, and is very supportive. He got me to seek help for my problems, and was the first one to say point blank 'woman your an aspie and that's a good thing' I wouldn't change him for the world.

Previous relationships with NTs were abusive, the last NT used to hit me if I displayed my 'weird' behavior, and blamed me for making his sons 'weird' which is technically true they got ASD from my side of the genetic mix (I call that a WIN :lol: )
All the friendships/relationships I've had with Aspie men have always been better. either I only met the nasty NTs or I've just found the better aspies?