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equestriatola
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24 Dec 2012, 4:41 pm

As a man, this is a question that kinda vexes me, to a degree.

I have noticed that women get married at earlier ages than men do, and in general, mature more quicker and earlier. Is this true? Tell me all about it, this just fascinates me!


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24 Dec 2012, 4:46 pm

I think maturity could occur in spurts at different times. Like two cars racing. One can be ahead then the other suddenly speeds up and catches up or even surges ahead.

Also, there are different kinds of maturity and the changing economy is a factor. In the past it was easier for a man to become a skilled tradesman in demand. In the service economy such men may seem aimless and lost while trying to retrain.



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24 Dec 2012, 6:40 pm

equestriatola wrote:
As a man, this is a question that kinda vexes me, to a degree.

I have noticed that women get married at earlier ages than men do, and in general, mature more quicker and earlier. Is this true? Tell me all about it, this just fascinates me!


In my experience, yes and no.

For women, it is socially-acceptable (and almost expected) to express their feelings and emotions, talk about their thoughts and views, and their identities. This is often seen as a bonding exercise between women. As a result of this, women gain the opportunity to learn more about themselves, potentially learn to effectively express and communicate their thoughts and feelings, as well as helping other women they speak to to accomplish the same. Men, on the other hand, are seen as less masculine (and thus, weak) if they attempt to do the exact same thing. Men will often be made fun of if they are "more sensitive" -- in other words, a human being who has feelings -- and will suffer greatly simply for expressing the emotions we all have. Those same emotions that women get the opportunity to talk about, reflect on, and gain understanding of through conversation with their friends are discouraged, men are taught to repress, deny, and ignore them. This denies men the opportunity for self-learning that is allowed so freely to women.

That said, anger, self-importance, and self-esteem are seen as inappropriate for women. Anger in women is often portrayed as being "overly-emotional," women are said to have P.M.S. or the like and their anger isn't taken as being serious, but rather excused as hysterics. In women, self-esteem is looked down upon. Self-sufficient women are said to be "b*****s," man-haters, they're called lesbians (even if they're not, as this is an attempt to insult them, not classify their sexuality), and they're labeled "inhospitable." Self-importance in women is seen as selfishness, it's seen as un-feminine, and because women are often portrayed as caregivers and mothers, it's seen as inappropriate and even cruel for them to consider themselves more. Men, on the other hand, who are angry are often entitled. A man can punch a wall out of anger and it is considerably more accepted than if a woman does the same exact thing. Self-sufficient men are seen as strong, able, and good examples to the community. Men with self-esteem and self-importance are not seen as selfish but confident and inspiring.

So, at the end of the day, while the structure and social norms in society give women more of an opportunity to know who they are, it also treats them like their emotions don't matter, like wanting anything for themselves is selfish and masculine, and that their looks are more important than who they are. While men suffer from not getting the same opportunities to know who they are, they are allowed to be angry, self-important, self-sufficient, and have people admire them for it.

If you ask me, we both get a raw deal. The fact that men aren't allowed to explore themselves and their emotions leads to the very anger and ego-centrism that is more accepted in men -- and it's not any better for them than it is for those surrounding them, as often these are symptoms of underlying mental illness. Women, on the other hand, get to know who they are, but suffer low self-esteem, second-guessing themselves, and are not allowed to be angry -- all of which contributes to a greater degree of depression and general dissatisfaction.

It's a double-edged sword, really...and it needs to be changed because it's a ridiculous 'norm' and doesn't help women or men. :(


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Apple_in_my_Eye
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24 Dec 2012, 7:54 pm

It seems like a concept invented to reinforce cultural norms. And, are all forms of maturity good? I.e. in terms of bones maturity is when they stop growing. I've wondered if the reason why people who do a lot of learning (sciencey/techhy/nerdy/professor types) tend to look young for their chronological age is that they are delayed in maturity, including in terms of their brains' receptiveness to new information.



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24 Dec 2012, 10:25 pm

Mature physically or mentally?

As for getting married at an earlier age, if the typical woman marries someone older, then women would naturally be marrying earlier. Also, I've known plenty of women who get married who I would hardly call mature.



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25 Dec 2012, 11:56 am

equestriatola wrote:
As a man, this is a question that kinda vexes me, to a degree.

I have noticed that women get married at earlier ages than men do, and in general, mature more quicker and earlier. Is this true? Tell me all about it, this just fascinates me!


As women, with the baby-oven and noticing our mother slave over babie's needs, and especially making an egg only once a month instead to be in heat every few hours you make sperm... we tend to think about a variety of things... while you're constantly bombed by sex urges.,.. getting an erection when you simply want to pee... I guess an half have to push it or we'd never get babies.. who want a skull ripping our their crotch from their V to their A... throwing up every morning and get kicked in the stomach... Hm...

So we mature faster...

But that's not why we marry younger... I think it's because older men hunt young ladies to feel like they have the upper hand and perpetuate that men are superior... they should try dating a bloomed woman their age and see if they can keep up. HA!

Enjoy~



equestriatola
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25 Dec 2012, 11:58 am

LisaOfShades wrote:
equestriatola wrote:
As a man, this is a question that kinda vexes me, to a degree.

I have noticed that women get married at earlier ages than men do, and in general, mature more quicker and earlier. Is this true? Tell me all about it, this just fascinates me!


As women, with the baby-oven and noticing our mother slave over babie's needs, and especially making an egg only once a month instead to be in heat every few hours you make sperm... we tend to think about a variety of things... while you're constantly bombed by sex urges.,.. getting an erection when you simply want to pee... I guess an half have to push it or we'd never get babies.. who want a skull ripping our their crotch from their V to their A... throwing up every morning and get kicked in the stomach... Hm...

So we mature faster...

But that's not why we marry younger... I think it's because older men hunt young ladies to feel like they have the upper hand and perpetuate that men are superior... they should try dating a bloomed woman their age and see if they can keep up. HA!

Enjoy~


Oh, my. My heart weeps for you women, just for what you have to go through biologically! I imagine it must be a pain (not trying to be insensitive); but now I get the feeling men may have it slightly easier (again, not trying to be insensitive).


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25 Dec 2012, 12:43 pm

equestriatola wrote:

Oh, my. My heart weeps for you women, just for what you have to go through biologically! I imagine it must be a pain (not trying to be insensitive); but now I get the feeling men may have it slightly easier (again, not trying to be insensitive).


aw~ thank you~ allow me to make you suffer some more empathy~ (how sweet!)

They say a period is only 5 spoons of blood... for a week... but it,s not true for everyone... lacking magnesium and if I read right, iron deficiency can make you bleed more... and low thyroid... and too much estrogen making you build us a way too thick lining...

We can loose 2 cups... some throw up, get so weak we get dizzy... before taking magnesium supplements it felt like I had a bowling ball in my uterus... that ripped my internal organs feeling pulled very powerfully by gravity... and I was in agony from the middle of my back to my knees... curling up in bed wishing to be put down by mercy... trying to repeat to myself that it's just for a few days to avoid getting the depression from hormone imbalances get the best of me...

I read someone say "It's more like a flesh jam"... I lose big pieces of flesh... I always get worried that it got through my pants... I am disgusted by tampons because I want that putrid flesh (sometimes it turns brown and smell horrid, close to the end) to get out... some people died from forgetting a tampon too long... some people have to wear both pads and tampons...

We have to get the pill... so that men can f**k us without using a condom... which screws up our already fragile hormones... giving us the mood swings that men complain about... and gain fat that men dislike so much... the pill... so that you can f**k us like toys responsibility free... you think it,s bad getting a prostate exam with one finger? Try getting a metallic pliers... fries-catcher-like... inside... then opened and spread around wide... didn't... I'd rather die. And the pill can give cancer... so that's why we have to get checked... joy.

Men think of porn all day... women don't... so they are ready for sex right away after fantasizing... women need to be put in the mood slowly... some women spend years in a wedding (or with boys here and there) told to just open up and ban straight in there... without bothering to arouse them... calling them defective if they're not moist and ready on demand... as if porno movies didn't have many cuts... and they never get an orgasm... men don't play with the clit, which is basically our penis... and the G spot is stimulating it,s nerve from the inside... so we can come from 2 places... but instead to give us a double orgasm... they just use us like sperm toilet... and then wonder why we're not in the mood... or dry...

Enjoy~ *pats your back*

I waited 10 years with the rule to get a minimum of respect before taking a boyfriend... now I don't wait anymore... I just call myself asexual... I can come like a gatling gun... as a gifted person with biology as special skill... but I sure won't be treated like this.

Ah~ thanks... I feel better. You're okay~ Thank you for being open to my rant~

I've been a man online... since I'm kinda both... so I know the pressure of being strong... of not showing emotional weaknesses... of being counted on when you just want to curl up and get a hug but need to be the pillar that hold people together... and having to deal with crazy chicks and their greedy emotional demands...

So... yeah... it,s not easy... and the female orgasm is wayyyyyy better. It can last way longer, and go straight back up, and waves up and down... and hit and hit and hit up... roller coaster of delight... while men just go "pff" then need a break... no wonder men are so obsessed... with a tiny cough like that... I get so many that I'm okay for a month!

Enjoy~



equestriatola
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25 Dec 2012, 2:07 pm

LisaOfShades wrote:
equestriatola wrote:

Oh, my. My heart weeps for you women, just for what you have to go through biologically! I imagine it must be a pain (not trying to be insensitive); but now I get the feeling men may have it slightly easier (again, not trying to be insensitive).


aw~ thank you~ allow me to make you suffer some more empathy~ (how sweet!)

They say a period is only 5 spoons of blood... for a week... but it,s not true for everyone... lacking magnesium and if I read right, iron deficiency can make you bleed more... and low thyroid... and too much estrogen making you build us a way too thick lining...

We can loose 2 cups... some throw up, get so weak we get dizzy... before taking magnesium supplements it felt like I had a bowling ball in my uterus... that ripped my internal organs feeling pulled very powerfully by gravity... and I was in agony from the middle of my back to my knees... curling up in bed wishing to be put down by mercy... trying to repeat to myself that it's just for a few days to avoid getting the depression from hormone imbalances get the best of me...

I read someone say "It's more like a flesh jam"... I lose big pieces of flesh... I always get worried that it got through my pants... I am disgusted by tampons because I want that putrid flesh (sometimes it turns brown and smell horrid, close to the end) to get out... some people died from forgetting a tampon too long... some people have to wear both pads and tampons...

We have to get the pill... so that men can f**k us without using a condom... which screws up our already fragile hormones... giving us the mood swings that men complain about... and gain fat that men dislike so much... the pill... so that you can f**k us like toys responsibility free... you think it,s bad getting a prostate exam with one finger? Try getting a metallic pliers... fries-catcher-like... inside... then opened and spread around wide... didn't... I'd rather die. And the pill can give cancer... so that's why we have to get checked... joy.

Men think of porn all day... women don't... so they are ready for sex right away after fantasizing... women need to be put in the mood slowly... some women spend years in a wedding (or with boys here and there) told to just open up and ban straight in there... without bothering to arouse them... calling them defective if they're not moist and ready on demand... as if porno movies didn't have many cuts... and they never get an orgasm... men don't play with the clit, which is basically our penis... and the G spot is stimulating it,s nerve from the inside... so we can come from 2 places... but instead to give us a double orgasm... they just use us like sperm toilet... and then wonder why we're not in the mood... or dry...

Enjoy~ *pats your back*

I waited 10 years with the rule to get a minimum of respect before taking a boyfriend... now I don't wait anymore... I just call myself asexual... I can come like a gatling gun... as a gifted person with biology as special skill... but I sure won't be treated like this.

Ah~ thanks... I feel better. You're okay~ Thank you for being open to my rant~

I've been a man online... since I'm kinda both... so I know the pressure of being strong... of not showing emotional weaknesses... of being counted on when you just want to curl up and get a hug but need to be the pillar that hold people together... and having to deal with crazy chicks and their greedy emotional demands...

So... yeah... it,s not easy... and the female orgasm is wayyyyyy better. It can last way longer, and go straight back up, and waves up and down... and hit and hit and hit up... roller coaster of delight... while men just go "pff" then need a break... no wonder men are so obsessed... with a tiny cough like that... I get so many that I'm okay for a month!

Enjoy~


*hugs* Thanks. There are some things in things in this world that vex me as a male.


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25 Dec 2012, 8:02 pm

Physically........yes.

Emotionally/mentally.......no.


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26 Dec 2012, 8:52 am

16 year old boys and 16 year old girls look like completely different people.


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equestriatola
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03 Jan 2013, 9:39 pm

When I found out that would likely be married @ 30, it put a bit of pressure off me, to a degree, IMO.


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04 Jan 2013, 2:14 am

MONKEY wrote:
16 year old boys and 16 year old girls look like completely different people.


Agreed. I'm 16. :lol:


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04 Jan 2013, 1:12 pm

Hmm, maybe in some ways. But in other ways, men mature faster than women. When (most) boys reach a certain age, maybe about 17-16, they kind of give up taunting random people (that look un confident or stupid, like me,) in the street. But I've experienced girls the same age as me who have picked on me randomly in public, like glaring and giggling. I haven't had so much immature grief from boys as I have girls as an adult. But, maybe I am wrong there, maybe when people reach about 17-18 maybe they only like to pick on others that are the same gender as them, like women pick on other women and men pick on other men, but men are kind to women and women are kind to men, so me, as a woman, I don't notice how nasty men can be because they show more respect to the opposite gender. I don't know, I might be writing drivel here, but if it is all true then it's a shame that people have to be this way.


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equestriatola
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19 Jan 2013, 10:17 pm

LisaOfShades wrote:
equestriatola wrote:

Oh, my. My heart weeps for you women, just for what you have to go through biologically! I imagine it must be a pain (not trying to be insensitive); but now I get the feeling men may have it slightly easier (again, not trying to be insensitive).


aw~ thank you~ allow me to make you suffer some more empathy~ (how sweet!)

They say a period is only 5 spoons of blood... for a week... but it,s not true for everyone... lacking magnesium and if I read right, iron deficiency can make you bleed more... and low thyroid... and too much estrogen making you build us a way too thick lining...

We can loose 2 cups... some throw up, get so weak we get dizzy... before taking magnesium supplements it felt like I had a bowling ball in my uterus... that ripped my internal organs feeling pulled very powerfully by gravity... and I was in agony from the middle of my back to my knees... curling up in bed wishing to be put down by mercy... trying to repeat to myself that it's just for a few days to avoid getting the depression from hormone imbalances get the best of me...

I read someone say "It's more like a flesh jam"... I lose big pieces of flesh... I always get worried that it got through my pants... I am disgusted by tampons because I want that putrid flesh (sometimes it turns brown and smell horrid, close to the end) to get out... some people died from forgetting a tampon too long... some people have to wear both pads and tampons...

We have to get the pill... so that men can f**k us without using a condom... which screws up our already fragile hormones... giving us the mood swings that men complain about... and gain fat that men dislike so much... the pill... so that you can f**k us like toys responsibility free... you think it,s bad getting a prostate exam with one finger? Try getting a metallic pliers... fries-catcher-like... inside... then opened and spread around wide... didn't... I'd rather die. And the pill can give cancer... so that's why we have to get checked... joy.

Men think of porn all day... women don't... so they are ready for sex right away after fantasizing... women need to be put in the mood slowly... some women spend years in a wedding (or with boys here and there) told to just open up and ban straight in there... without bothering to arouse them... calling them defective if they're not moist and ready on demand... as if porno movies didn't have many cuts... and they never get an orgasm... men don't play with the clit, which is basically our penis... and the G spot is stimulating it,s nerve from the inside... so we can come from 2 places... but instead to give us a double orgasm... they just use us like sperm toilet... and then wonder why we're not in the mood... or dry...

Enjoy~ *pats your back*

I waited 10 years with the rule to get a minimum of respect before taking a boyfriend... now I don't wait anymore... I just call myself asexual... I can come like a gatling gun... as a gifted person with biology as special skill... but I sure won't be treated like this.

Ah~ thanks... I feel better. You're okay~ Thank you for being open to my rant~

I've been a man online... since I'm kinda both... so I know the pressure of being strong... of not showing emotional weaknesses... of being counted on when you just want to curl up and get a hug but need to be the pillar that hold people together... and having to deal with crazy chicks and their greedy emotional demands...

So... yeah... it,s not easy... and the female orgasm is wayyyyyy better. It can last way longer, and go straight back up, and waves up and down... and hit and hit and hit up... roller coaster of delight... while men just go "pff" then need a break... no wonder men are so obsessed... with a tiny cough like that... I get so many that I'm okay for a month!

Enjoy~


That last thing about the orgasm: Well, more power to you gals. :D


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20 Jan 2013, 10:43 pm

equestriatola wrote:
I have noticed that women get married at earlier ages than men do,


I am two years older than my husband. I have no idea what you are talking about. ;-)

Seriously, though, studies show that girls generally hit puberty earlier, and often reach emotional maturity before boys do. A girl might look for an older guy, seeking someone on her level of maturity. I don't know any couples with a major age difference; of all our friends, the couple furthest apart in age are my husband and I. I have not noticed the trend you mention in my generation, although I do agree it was true of earlier generations; my grandfather was 18 years older than my grandmother. (No, not a typo -- 18.)

I think that is because at that time, women were not expected to work outside the home. Even if you worked before marriage, you stopped working after marriage, because it was seen as the husband's job to support the family. Women married older men because those men had established careers and could provide for a family. I think that "tradition" carried on into my parents' generation to some degree, even though many women worked outside the home. I don't think it's so true anymore.