How outgoing are you? And what's your view on men?

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kalli889
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 7 Oct 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Female
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09 Oct 2013, 8:47 am

I can be outgoing if I want to be. (Have to be careful about overdoing it, or I get overwhelmed and have to stay in bed all weekend after too much socializing.) I think most of my friends would say that I'm extremely outgoing, because when they see me, I am socializing. I do prefer one-to-one interactions, or house parties with people I already know, but on occasion I can go and Own The Room at a party where I know few people. If I'm in a new situation (like, say a Fashion Week event), I can go into near-meltdown, because I don't know what to expect, and everyone actually IS judging you by your clothes (the horror!).

I have gone from being seen as "one of the guys" or as a "little sister", to dating socially awkward or disastrous men, to dating gorgeous, brilliant, outgoing men. I would say that with the gorgeous and outgoing men, it does take some time to hang back and do research into their real, actual values (how they behave vs. what they say they value). Extrovert NTs can go a long way on charm alone without any real substance, and can say a lot of pretty words, but their behavior towards you and others is what really counts. Charm is not character, it is a skill.

I would recommend two books, the first being MAMA GENA'S SCHOOL OF WOMANLY ARTS by Regena Thomashauer, and EMERGENCE OF THE SENSUAL WOMAN by Saida Desilets. These books took me from being a tomboy who had no idea how to approach boys without seizing up to actually being seen as quite feminine and dateable. I do tend to date less than my NT friends (need more time alone), but I'm pleased with the quality of men I have dated.

I like outgoing men because if I do go to a party, I don't have to babysit them. If I feel up to working a room, I want him to also enjoy working a room, instead of him seething on his chair, thinking I'm avoiding him (<<totally has happened with an awkward dude).



peaceloveerin
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09 Oct 2013, 3:49 pm

I don't consider myself outgoing at all, but I'm not totally shy either. I love being around people, but it gets draining for me after a few hours and I need time to myself. More introverted I guess you could say.

As for guys, I would love to be married to a guy who accepts my decision not to have children and is willing to wait until marriage to have an intimate relationship.



MindBlind
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20 Oct 2013, 12:27 pm

Einsteinologist wrote:
MindBlind wrote:
I have no interest in engaging in a romantic relationship with anyone. But on the whole, I see men exactly the same as I see women. My misanthropy has no boundaries.

Okay, I'm joking about the misanthropy part.

I'm a bit more introverted because I enjoy my solitude a lot, but I do enjoy the company of others and get on fairly well with most people.


Are you trying on the mask of a phoney British Negro?


...wut?