any aspie women here married with NT hubby and nt children?

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I am very new to wrongplanet despite being diagnosed since age 20 so I am going to be a bit nervous (tee hee) This post is meant as a question for any other aspie women in particularly whom are married to NT husbands with multple NT boys. I found it very strange that all 4 of my boys and including the one due in 2 months are boys and all of them are NT which leads me to think maybe AS is passed down by the father and not there mother since my dad is also an aspie. So are there any other aspie women with NT spouses with multiple NT children (especially boys)? maybe I am way over my head with my theory =)

Not sure if anyone here meets your very specific criteria.
I have an NT girl and an ASD boy, and a husband who is probably BAP. I'm probably on the spectrum, too, but I grew up in the 80s so I was only labelled "gifted" by my school, and "weirdo" by my classmates.

I am guessing that you're right. Many aspie/nt relationships consist of the male being aspie and I have trouble finding cases of the opposite and even more so when the children are all nt which is the reason why I thought of the theory maybe that aspergers is passed down by the father and not the mother (I inherited AS from my aspie dad). Theres strong evidence that AS is highly hereditary yet none of my boys have it.

I'm autistic, my husband is NT and we have one child (a daughter, however) who as yet I'm unsure about. She certainly has some traits that I would associate with being autistic, and that her friends don't have, but my husband is convinced I'm seeing things that aren't really an issue and are normal toddler behaviours, so the verdict is currently out. I am very, very in tune with her and so I do think I notice things about her that others don't, but for now we consider her to be NT.

I'm married to an NT husband (though not typical in that he has borderline personality disorder) and my two daughters and son are all ASD. My first husband was NT and my oldest daughter (his child) has the most severe symptoms. I think my dad is an Aspie. My mother has narcissistic personality disorder. I married two different men, with a cluster B disorder. I apparently don't learn my lesson. Frankly, I wish there were more people my kids and I could relate to. I would imagine most NTs behave better and are thus a better role model. I imagine in better circumstances, a nice NT spouse could be of great benefit (and older kids) for me socially. It would be nice to have someone let me know when I'm being inappropriate or help guide me in anxiety provoking situations, rather than try to isolate me further. I hope yours treats you well.

NT husband, and two boys-- one AS and one NT.

It can be passed by the mother. I am on the spectrum, my husband is NT, and I'm almost positive my daughter is on the spectrum but she's only a year and a half, so it's a little hard to tell right now. My sister is on the spectrum, her husband is NT but 3 of her 4 kids are on the spectrum.

Hi, I'm an aspie and my husband is nt. Our son is also an aspie and my daughter so far appears nt.

I am an aspie. I am pretty sure my 16 year old is also, but my ex husband would never allow me to get him tested for it, he was already diagnosed with ADHD. I already had it set up to have him tested for free, but his dad just would not agree. And in order to have been able to get it done without him and I agreeing on it, we would have had to gone to court over it, and I did not have the money to do that. Anyways, my present husband is NT I am aspie, and I have three sons. They are 16, 6, and 1 and a 1/2 years old. I have a feeling that my 6 year old could be, but I am not quit sure yet, he covers his ears when he feels something is too loud. He is very quiet and shy, except at home of course. He says he hates school, but he says he has a nice teacher and he likes her.

I'm pretty sure I am an aspie. I'm still in the process of getting tested. Husband and daughter are both NT.

I am.

I wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's until age 46. I always knew there is something off about me. I went from calling it weird to calling it socially ret*d before I started reading about Autism and Asperger's Syndrome about three years ago.



me too.

My first husband is NT but dyslexic, so he gets it about invisible disabilities that people find it hard to believe you have. You seem so smart in so many ways, how can this be so hard for you? You're just not trying hard enough. You're just lazy. You're just faking it so you won't have to make the effort of reading (math, social interaction, teamwork etc.). You just want an excuse for your poor performance/behavior.

Yeah, he didn't know what was weird about me, but he did understand that there are difficulties that don't just *poof* vanish because you ignored them or tried harder.

I have two NT sons by him (and two NT daughters as well). It's hard for me to get along with any of these three adult males (ex and sons). My sons did at least understand my tendency to randomly spout movie quotes.

Now on my second NT husband (he actually thinks he might be on the spectrum, but I don't). He doesn't get my random movie quotes and does tend to accuse me of pretending to have a disability or not trying hard enough or not having enough faith to overcome my limitations when under relational stress. That's why I don't think he's Autistic. If he were he would understand that it isn't something you can just turn on to get sympathy or un-needed help, and then turn off when you feel like accomplishing everything impossible on your own.

As to the genetic basis--I'm sure there has been a lot of research, including by people that have posited the same theory as yours (that it's passed down from the father). Judging by personal experience only, I don't think so. If so I'm the exception. If either of my parents are Autistic, it's definitely my Mum, not my Dad. She's socially awkward and tends to get ostracized by the "in crowd," high IQ, special interests, eccentric sense of humor and idiosyncratic use of language. My dad got on just fine in social situations. My sister and brothers are likely NT as well. We also fall along statistically predictable introvert/extravert ratios, too. My extraverted NT dad had 2 extraverted siblings and one introvert sister. I'm an introvert, my three siblings are extraverts. I have 3 extraverted children and 1 introverted daughter. All the introverts in my family are female, and in my opinion none of the males in my extended family present as Autistic.

I am quite surprised by the response it seems that the variables are all over the map.
sons/daughter/aspie/NT either some of them or all of them. The thing is personally I know of one other aspie woman whom has 2 NT sons and NT husband which is similar to me and this naively led me to believe that AS moms dont pass down the disorder predominantly. What can I say I am both saddened and gladdened that we aspie women do produce aspie children in a way its exciting to have a fellow aspie as your loving child and in other ways it seems like a double challenge. So my question to aspie women with aspie children are is it a double nightmare or are aspie kids in general easier to satisfy/do they seek less attention and drama?.

My NT husband and sons really irritate me with their soap opera non-verbal and very subtle distress signals and vague expectations and they get angry at me for not picking them up (NT man can be just as mellow dramatic as NT women at times) my younger sons who go to preschool get angry out of nowhere because a random few days ago I didn't appreciate their cute little drawings. For my NT husband its become a routine for him to toy with me and complain on and on about my social obliviousness whenever he is having a bad day especially at work, hes a parole officer so he does get in contact with a lot of bs and drama. Don't get me started on NT sons my oldest is 7 and hes obsessed with violent video games (his father is/was tolerant of that!) all this action packed call of duty adventure negatively shaped his mood and he delivers the infamous NT tantrums but recently I threatened to report and fortunately my husband forced him to cut down the violence and I am yet to see any change to his thundrous moodswings but hes still less exhausting than the 2 smaller cry babies=) who endlessly want to seek my attention and drain me of my already depleted energy (its already depleted thx to my annoying sensory sensitivities) but thank god I am a vegan.
My husband isn't abusive but more of an annoying whiner of my AS (hard to believe a 6'2 burly man wud act like a little drama queen princess teehee) a lot of times he can be an amazing source of comfort and guidance hes your typical peoples person who can walk to any public area and start bantering with strangers like 2nd nature and he greatly understands me and always seems to rescue me from tense social situations however at times he either gets overwhelmed by my obliviousness or just uses my AS to release steam when having a crappy day at the job.

I am quite surprised by the response it seems that the variables are all over the map.
sons/daughter/aspie/NT either some of them or all of them. The thing is, personally I know of one other aspie woman whom has 2 NT sons with NT husband which is similar to me and this naively led me to believe that AS moms don't pass down the disorder predominantly. What can I say I am both saddened and gladdened that we aspie women do produce aspie children in a way its exciting to have a fellow aspie as your loving child and in other ways it seems like a double challenge. So my question to aspie women with aspie children are is it a double nightmare or are aspie kids in general easier to satisfy/do they seek less attention and drama?.

My NT husband and sons really irritate me with their soap opera non-verbal and very subtle distress signals and vague expectations and they get angry at me for not picking them up (NT men can be just as mellow dramatic as NT women at times) my younger sons who go to preschool, get angry out of nowhere because a random few days ago I would forget to over appreciate their cute little drawings or take their side unconditionally when they fight with their older brother even if its their fault. For my NT husband its become a routine for him to toy with me and complain on and on about my social obliviousness whenever he is having a bad day especially at work, hes a parole officer so he does get in contact with a lot of BS and drama. Don't get me started on my oldest whose 7 and hes obsessed with violent video games (his father is/was tolerant of that!) all this pixelated call of duty adventure negatively shaped his mood and he delivers the infamous NT tantrums whenever I try to limit the little soldier's killing career LOL but recently I threatened to report child services and fortunately my husband forced him to cut down the violence and I have yet to see any change to his thunderous mood swings but hes still less exhausting than the 2 smaller cry babies=) who endlessly want to seek my attention and drain me of my already depleted energy (its already depleted thx to my annoying sensory sensitivities) but thank god I am a vegan (my silly hubby jokes that veganism is the devils menu).
My husband isn't abusive but more of an annoying whiner of my AS (hard to believe a 6'2 burly man wud b***h like a teenage cheerleader girl) HOWEVER a lot of times he can be an amazing source of comfort and guidance hes your typical peoples person who can walk to any public area and start bantering with strangers like 2nd nature and he greatly understands me and always seems to rescue me from tense social situations however at times he either gets overwhelmed by my obliviousness or just uses my AS as a scapegoat to release steam when having a crappy day at the job.

I'm the stereotypical socially-withdrawn, book-loving type. My ASD son, on the other hand, is a sensory seeker.
He likes loud noises and roller coasters and talking incessantly and touching everything. So, it's a bit of a challenge.

My son is so loud all of the time and he makes repetitive noises all of the time, mostly train noises. I don't like loud noises and hate repetitious sounds. So yes, he drives me crazy. That being said, we have very similar tactile sensory issues and it's nice knowing each other this way. My daughter, who is NT, is very different and less annoying but very clingy. Both kids are hard for different reasons, which is probably pretty normal.