calling a woman,''beautiful''

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ok,I wonder why is it,if you walk to a woman,
and say ''hey,beautiful''they often get mad,
but if you talk to a woman for a little bit,
and say ''your very pretty lady''they don't
get mad,at least in my case.I've called
women pretty,who I just meet,and they
just said ''thank you'' ''that very sweet''
is pretty just nicer than beautiful?

IMHO, it is because "hey beautiful" sounds more like an opening pick-up line whereas talking and then waiting to call a female a "pretty lady" might indicate more sincerity on the part of the person giving the compliment. Also, if a person takes the time to get to know a woman prior to just jumping in with a comment about a person's looks (which are superficial/on the surface anyhow)....it may indicate that an interest in getting to know a person beyond the outside appearance...which is why "pretty lady" at a later point would be more well received by a woman.

Instead of "hey Beautiful" why not try, "Oh My God you are a Beautiful woman." Or something along those lines. "Hey Beautiful" seems rehearsed, or "cliché," Its too familiar.

It depends upon the context.
When some stranger walks up and says "Hey, beautiful" it's pickup line and it's also...gross? seedy? smarmy? yucky? oily?
When it's my boyfriend and he says it low and husky, it's intimate.
When it's a friend, it's just a greeting.

No matter what they look like, what their sex or their gender, PEOPLE just like to be treated like they're nice people, whose company you enjoy.

When you're talking to a woman whom you have just met, it's really not necessary to tell her you think she's pretty or beautiful...that's kind of a "Captain Obvious" move and a dead give-away that you aren't good in social situations.

Reason being: if you didn't think she was pretty, you wouldn't be talking to her.

Well, it would be perfectly correct in my situation, so that assumption would be fine, because I would never try to pick up a woman, period. If I told a woman I had never met before that she is beautiful, as in "oh my God, you are beautiful" it would be sincere and not have any ulterior motive. I have no use to try an pick a woman up. I wouldn't know what to do if she aid yes. I am that 100%, genuine, clueless guy.,

hehehe

I'm laughing because I've been there; even tho' I can handle and am better at understanding social situations, they still make me really uncomfortable.

Think of it this way: if she's *that* beautiful, any guy with eyes has noticed and chances are good you're not the first person who's ever told her that. Probably not even the first person to say so that day.

Find something else to compliment her about. Is she smart? Is she kind? Does she have some unique jewelry or shoes or handbag? Does she have fantastic hair, or smell really, really good?

If she says yes, ask her what she's drinking and if you can buy her one!

Last edited by MissMaria on 17 Mar 2014, 12:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

I would not need to ask her anything. I wouldn't be able to. If she responded at all my ears would start ringing, I would turn beet red and I would turn into an instant Olympic track superstar.

I wish you reacted differently. I think you are an amazing person. You need to know this about yourself. or, perhaps you do, and there are reasons beyond your control, for what you've stated. Forgive me for being forward.

Thank you for your kindness delaShane. despite the many times I make reference to "I" and "me, myself' blah, blah that. I really try not to think about myself anymore than necessary. Being present is not exactly a priority to me. I just don't have the guts to paint the bottom of the international space station with my brain particles. It would be a fitting and glorious demise.

Its simply considered weird and rude, to simply approach someone and involve him into social contact, without having agreement about it, by eye-/bodylanguage.

It would be understood as a try for flirting with an woman, and its part of the flirt rules, that first both instinctively agree to an approach, before its physically or verbally done.

pretty good analysis I think

if someone I know just makes a compliment as an aside in conversation it is fine - but if someone just walks up and opens with it they are treating me like an object, which I object to

Calling a lady beautiful might be something you'd call them when you're in a long term relationship with them.

If you said "hey beautiful" it can be creepy, or it has been in my experience with men anyway.

I've found calling a lady pretty is something girls say to each other, rather than a man to woman compliment.

OK, so I had a lengthy conversation with a female NT friend about the term 'beautiful' as applied to females by males. She was of the opinion that when a man uses 'beautiful' instead of 'pretty' or 'nice looking' etc. to refer to a woman, that means he is attracted to her. So given that as well as all the above, the reason why 'hey beautiful' puts women off is because they see it as a smarmy pick up line whereas 'you are pretty' is perceived as just a compliment without expectation of anything happening afterwards.

As I discussed a couple of years ago here at WP, I once saw this girl at work (a tenant, not my employer) a few times who was about 10 years younger and very shy and timid. She was drop dead gorgeous and I told her she looked beautiful inside and out. I wanted to encourage her since I was once painfully shy and timid too. To my shock instead of being appreciative (as I knew her for months) she was VERY uncomfortable with it and went behind my back claimed I made her very uncomfortable. To this day I cannot figure out what I did wrong and told her supervisor she obviously didn't hear me or wildly misinterpreted what I said. It took me weeks to say that to her and months to recover from her puzzling reaction.

I've had many married women comment on how attractive I look and I am always very flattered. I wouldn't think for a second it was anything other than a compliment. I knew this girl had a boyfriend and she is 10 years younger: I just wanted to make her feel good about herself. Now I don't even bother talking to any woman under 25 for any reason unless I'm forced to because it never goes well.


Not necessarily. My ex was not the least bit good looking at all and not the reason I first met her or had a relationship with her. I've never understood men and preferred being around women as a kid but it's obvious I don't understand women either. I must be an Aspie!

." My ex was not the least bit good looking at all." I cannot even believe you just said that to someone? You are more clueless about women than I am, and that's saying something. I just needed to say that.

Why? It's true and everyone male or female told me it is well. I wasn't with her because of her physical looks. Whats wrong with stating that fact? I thought that would be a good thing since I am not like most men.