On feeling unsafe in women only spaces
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 41
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Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Well, geez, except for the lesbian part, I could've written your post myself . I have had more male true friends than women my entire life, exactly for this reason. However, at the same time, I am very much a woman who expects and demands equal treatment for women. But yes, some feminists hate me as well because well, I am NOT biased against men. For example, at work I had a few female co-workers tell me they would be wearing a low-cut blouse to an interview to get the job because the guy liked b$%bs...when they didn't get the job, they attempted to claim it was because they were women they didn't get it and some even attempted to claim sexual harassment. Funny, I looked pretty decent at the time, much better than some of those women, yet I never had any man at work disrespect me or sexually harass me.
I have pretty much given up on having a group of women whom I can relate to. I have maybe 3 girlfriends whom I adore, who get me, who are just like me. The rest? Forget it. I am not going to bother anymore. None of these friends are in the same country I live in today, so normally I am alone with just my husband and son. It's hard, but little by little I am getting used to it. I'd rather not have any girlfriends to hangout with here, than have those type of friends.
PS I am 47 and at the age of 47 women continue to terrorise me for being different...it doesn't change...not one bit
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
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Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
...and how do you not expect men to whine about women in L&D? You still wonder why eh? look at your own posts here, seriously; everyone of you is basically saying that 90% of your surrounding women are terrible match for you One terrible bad experience after another. None of you has a positive experience with women in general!
However, the difference is, that we are often obliged to date out of the majority of women to find one acceptable - while your friendship with women is much easier to be disposable and to befriend men instead.
Look, everytime you feel "offended" from a man complaining about the majority of women in his surrounding , before you jump to his throat to call him misogynist, go back to this thread to refresh your own memories with women.
However, the difference is, that we are often obliged to date out of the majority of women to find one acceptable - while your friendship with women is much easier to be disposable and to befriend men instead.
Look, everytime you feel "offended" from a man complaining about the majority of women in his surrounding , before you jump to his throat to call him misogynist, go back to this thread to refresh your own memories with women.
Who are you addressing this to? Has someone in this thread said that they expect men not to whine or complain about women?
The only thing I wonder about is when the L&D crowd don't differentiate, and instead make blanket
statements and assumptions about women in general. To me it is the equivalent of placing all the lonely guys in the same category as the bullies, abusers and womanisers and just using the term 'men' for example. I hope that you can notice that the words, some, many etc are used in this thread and not the black and white percentages that you refer to.
However, the difference is, that we are often obliged to date out of the majority of women to find one acceptable - while your friendship with women is much easier to be disposable and to befriend men instead.
Look, everytime you feel "offended" from a men complaining about the majority of women in his surrounding , before you jump to his throat to call him misogynist, go back to this thread to refresh your own memories with women.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
However, the difference is, that we are often obliged to date out of the majority of women to find one acceptable - while your friendship with women is much easier to be disposable and to befriend men instead.
Look, everytime you feel "offended" from a man complaining about the majority of women in his surrounding , before you jump to his throat to call him misogynist, go back to this thread to refresh your own memories with women.
Who are you addressing this to? Has someone in this thread said that they expect men not to whine or complain about women?
Oh ...a lot of ladies did that on L&D to a lot of guys did that for years, it's time to counter-attack . I've never been that active on this board before.
From now one, every time I see a lady who is criticizing men on L&D about how much they whine and complain about women, I am gonna reply her with a a link to this thread and with some like "Before you patronize us, go see your own gender here how much they complain about women".
/ anyway...go on with your posts, this thread will be...very very useful.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Amity,
Oh...and are you seeing they are differentiating much here?
The female users here are saying "women are..."... "I've experienced so much patriarchal nonsense from women " ..."I'm a bit afraid of women too."....etc
These are snippets from some posts here posted by women.
And oh, believe me, using 'many' and 'most' didn't save the guys on WP from being accused of whining or misogyny.
So Amity... "Before you patronize on us, go see your own gender here how much they complain about women".
Oh...and are you seeing they are differentiating much here?
The female users here are saying "women are..."... "I've experienced so much patriarchal nonsense from women " ..."I'm a bit afraid of women too."....etc
These are snippets from some posts here posted by women.
And oh, believe me, using 'many' and 'most' didn't save the guys on WP from being accused of whining or misogyny.
So Amity... "Before you patronize on us, go see your own gender here how much they complain about women".
Cherry Picking from some posts, it's a cute attempt to make your point .
Oh FoB, I don't believe that I have ever patronised you or the hoards of men that you speak for... Or is this a case of being lumped together with those who have patronised you about misogyny, simply cuz I'm female...
Good luck with your fishing
Boo what you are writing is that you feel entitled to be provocative any time a woman complains about women.
Or did I misunderstand what you meant?
Last edited by Waterfalls on 17 Oct 2015, 8:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I understand you aren't having good experiences with women, however, this reads as pretty demeaning. You might have better luck with women if you were able to look at us more positively.
Why are men coming in to this thread to discuss things that aren't what the OP is about? Can we have a discussion in here without it being derailed into other topics by men, please? If you want to talk about misogyny, then talk about it in one of the many threads about that topic, not in this one. If you have nothing to contribute to this particular discussion about being an autistic woman in woman-only spaces and feeling unsafe or like you don't fit in, then don't contribute by derailing.
By the way, I used to hang out with my boss who was a male and he used to laugh and say that anytime we went out together, girls would come and give him their number or smile at him, etc. but when he went out alone, it hardly ever happened. My husband also says the same thing...that while he didn't have a wedding ring, most women didn't pay attention to him but once he had a wedding ring, they were all super sweet to him and hitting on him. I have seen in the last few years a few of what I thought were my girlfriends (obviously not), make completely inappropriate comments to my husband right in front of my face. Some are constantly telling him how nice he is, telling me how lucky I am and one even dared ask him to go to a concert with her because she didn't want to go alone. That last one I thought was a young girl, i.e. about 15 years younger than us and we were friends with her parents...that didn't stop her.
From what I have talked with my husband and many of my male friends, most men if their friend has a girlfriend, is married, etc. they respect their friend and their wife (no, not saying some men don't actually look at their friend's wives/girlfriends, etc...) but that they do NOT bother or would consider starting anything with them...on the other hand, I have seen TIME AND TIME again some girls who have absolutely no problem dating their girlfriend's husband and if they like the guy, the friendship is irrelevant to them.
I think because of this women are even MORE cruel to AS women, because they are indeed always in a competition with women and of course, as AS women, we are easier targets to bully, etc.
From what I have talked with my husband and many of my male friends, most men if their friend has a girlfriend, is married, etc. they respect their friend and their wife (no, not saying some men don't actually look at their friend's wives/girlfriends, etc...) but that they do NOT bother or would consider starting anything with them...on the other hand, I have seen TIME AND TIME again some girls who have absolutely no problem dating their girlfriend's husband and if they like the guy, the friendship is irrelevant to them.
I think because of this women are even MORE cruel to AS women, because they are indeed always in a competition with women and of course, as AS women, we are easier targets to bully, etc.
I hope you're not trying to suggest that men don't try to hit on women in relationships, that only women do that to men, because I'm pretty sure that both men and women do that and that both men and women cheat on their partners, as well. This thread is getting off track--I don't think these were the kinds of things the OP had in mind when she started this thread. I could be wrong, however, as she hasn't commented in a while.
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