social skills for girls 11-16

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I work with a team of professionals supporting young people in mainstream schools who are on the spectrum. When Lori Ernsperger (Girls under the umbrella of ASD) spoke last year at a conference dedicated to female issues she suggested that social skills programmes for gilrs should be quite different fom those delivered to boys. Amongst her suggestions were:
grooming/hygiene
fashion/language
social language e.g. initiating conversations, giving compliments
- use TV/films to highlight social skills in action
- write scripts
- role play
personal safety e.g. boyfriends

We are currently writing a programme and would welcome any suggestions you could make of issues/skills to include - what do you wish you had known?

Many thanks

Deb

I don't necessarily agree they should be so different, but should be also catered to women. Some women on the spectrum can be extremely close to the male stereotype of ASD, more so than some males in fact.

I think you still need a core in there helping to deal with frustrations, sensory overload, meltdowns, outlet for anger and so on.

Social interaction there should quite a bit of similarity it how I would approach it, if that is what they find difficult. I have my own personal view on this based on relative success in my 20s. It is not simply about mimicking other people, that doesn't work.

I haven't really encountered women on the spectrum with what I would consider to have a serious hygiene problem, but if so it may be down to sensory reasons. Yes they can may unkempt but that is hardly a crime, whereas other may be meticulous to OCD levels.

One thing I have noticed is if a ASD female is not into a subject like history, science, etc academic or any hobby, they might be obsessive about a person, or obsessive about their own weight, etc.

Best people to ask is women who have been through it, and developed coping strategies.

I think you do have to be wary of taking one person views on a wide array of individuals too seriously. One person cannot speak for all females.

How to handle bullies and recognizing your own self-worth is something I wish I'd learned at a younger age. Kids at that age can be brutal, and understanding what is and isn't acceptable behavior is a good thing for them to learn, as well as knowing that it's okay if you're different.

That's more of what girls that age group should be taught. I wish that I would have been taught that. I wouldn't have felt like such a freak, growing up.

Understanding acceptable and unacceptable behavior is a great thing to teach younger teen girls. To go along with that, I would teach both when and how to stand up for themselves against both boys' more direct, attacking forms of bullying and other girls' more indirect, demeaning bullying.

I'd put a big emphasis on recognizing not just recognizing self-worth for all girls, but improving self-esteem, especially for girls who have already been bullied and might already have self-worth and self-esteem issues.

grooming/hygiene - yes yes, especially how to stay looking groomed through the day, it's that executive function stuff. And how to organise for Aunt Flo's visits.

fashion/language - I think this is definitely two separate sections, although I can see that it would be useful to have something on fashionable language!

social language e.g. initiating conversations, giving compliments - much more in depth than that, starting conversations is useful, but then where do you take them? And in long term friendships, what the course of a friendship is like.

- use TV/films to highlight social skills in action - I'm sure this would work really well for some girls. I'm sure there are others who might find novels or radio easier to follow.

- write scripts - is that about the social language thing?
- role play
personal safety e.g. boyfriends - you need a whole section on boyfriends. The social implications and pressure to have boyfriends and who to choose and what choice you have etc. How to avoid getting into an abusive relationship (or how to get out of one, sadly, might be needed.)

I also think that it would be great if this sort of programme could somehow be delivered to all girls not just those diagnosed with a condition. On the one hand it would avoid singling out those girls as special and on the other hand it would be useful for all girls anyway.