Women, Aspergers and Sex Drive

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*You know*, for the longest time I thought AS kids had lower sex drives, but then I realized that it was actually the fact that Aspies tend to be more aware of the potential consequences of having sex, and more reluctant to jump in with two feet into a sexually active lifestyle. As for myself, do I have a lower sex drive? The answer is simple: Yes, I have a sex drive, but I'm not going to pork some random chick I don't have immense feelings for. Not to mention the consequences of doing it wrong. So there's your definitive answer. Sure, you are going to have those with lower sex drives and higher sex drives, just like any group study. But generally speaking, Aspies are more responsible, since they aren't as much a part of society as NTs are, a society which teaches absitinence in school yet has sex symbols in the media.

Yeah, when I was young I was very aware of these things, and very responsible, as you say. I guess my emotions didn´t have the tendency to overtake my common sense, unlike many people I knew.

I indeed have a high sex drive, both a curse and a blessing I suppose.

It almost seems strange to me now that d1nko was banned. I'm seeing "discussions" on this board now that are far more aggressive and inflammatory than I recall him ever being.

My sex drive comes and goes. It probably has something to do with how safe I feel physically in a relationship and my gross hor_moans_.

Sometimes I just cannot get aroused. I definitely think it's a neuro thing.

I have a very healthy sex drive, myself! I am NLD, not necessarily AS. Not sure if that accounts for much... But I did notice that when I was younger (high school age), I was very depressed and had no interest in boys at all. It makes me think that sex drive has less to do with AS or an ASD per se, but the emotional trouble associated with having poor social skills and experiencing rejection...


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Same here but I do not experience rejection in regards to sex. I don't think most women do. Men perv and want it all the time.

Depression & emotional frustration in general. It stiffles libido.

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Last edited by JennaStraznik on 24 Jan 2009, 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah I know what you mean. I get anxiety which can lead to emotional and sexual frustration. So i reject the other person or if I do have sex with them I am uptight and uncomfortable. I either have to be on something or know them for a long time.

I usually have the opposite problem...constantly thinking about sex, until I started taking SSRIs/SNRIs a couple of years ago.

The drive is revved up if I meet someone who is interested in me. If there are no prospects, then I just get used to not having any and lose interest.

I am also extremely cautious of any sexual involvement; becoming physically intimate with someone intensifies my desire for emotional intimacy as well. If the latter is not reciprocated, then I feel very depressed and disappointed. Not something I want in my life right now.

Catwoman

However, my boyfriend said "Do you beleive in love at first sight" and in this case I think I really do.

i think this is a rather simplistic summation of a complex issue for AS people - both men and women.
my sex drive is perectly fine. it is definitely dulled when i am on antisepressants and i suspect a lot of the medications prescribed for As people actually affect sexual functioning and appetite.

the other issue is that many people with AS actually crave the physical contact but cannot cope with the arbitrary touch and the sensory dysfuntion problems that are often a part of life with AS.

SO the sex drive may indeed be there, but he ability and capaicty to consummate it with another human being may be very very difficult.

and then of course there is the social aspect ---- how does one actually navigate through the dating minefield if you have AS? i've never successfully mangaed that one and every parnter i have ever had has commented on how weird i have been in this regard.

i am starting to believe that virtual sex is about as good as it can get for me.
I did watch "Lars and the Real GIrl" the other day., and an anatomically correct doll seems to be the answer for some. at least it could listen to my monlogues and i would e uninterrupted and then not expect me to listen in return when they want to do the social chit chat thing.
I also wouldn;t get balled out for being a complete fruitcake and failure on a daily basis.

No, I thought you put it is definetly not dulled.

My sex drive has definetly been dulled by antipsychotics type medications, along with everything else.
However, I have found antidepressants not to have such affect. I still have a strong desire for sex and/or to masturbate and I always have. I asked my doctor and they said, "Not every one has the same of side effects." I guess, maybe, because I have been on them for about 9 years - I have gotten use to them.

hopefully without sounding like a s*lg, oh nope. NO problems with sex drive whatsoever.

I'm only interested when I'm ovulating. I appreciate a handsome guy but see him as a sort of physical artwork. I don't desire to have sex with him. I just like starring at him and wishing I were beautiful too. So much for "sex drive". What about "love drive"? The desire to love and be loved. Sex for me is this: The piece of meat goes in and then it comes out. A lot of ooo, ahh, and it's over! Such a hurdle to have to jump when there is so many other things to do.
Sex is sooo overrated! In some countries, not a lot of thought goes into it because they're so busy just trying to stay alive or exhausted over the amount of work they had to do just for a bowl of rice and hot pepper to go with it. Sex without repro is a luxury actually. A brief thrill.
You can achieve the same thing on some of the newer roller coasters. I actually saw a guy pee his pants on one.