Why do women love abusive men

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Here's another psychological theory duo. One is from a guy, the other is from someone being analytical.

Guy's perspective: Because being nice to you makes you go away, and being mean to you only works for other guys. (You all are stupid.)

Thinker's perspective: Because you crave excitement and you've never had a healthy relationship. This typically happens to extroverted girls that need a lot of stimulation for their brains, so they go for the biggest hunkies guy arround, usually identifyable by his booming voice and abusiveness. You've never had a healthy relationship, because caring partners don't hit each other, it's about mutuality, not dominance.

Things to watch out for.

. Alpha male persona.
. Only giving attention to one guy.
. Large and expressive.
. Short temper.
. Extroverted.
. Selectively nice. (I noticed on the love and romance forum that guys were saying that women stay with abusive guys because they make them feel special, because they make them feel like they are really beautiful. Before you go steady or even sleep with a guy that exhibits any of the above signs, take one of your less attractive friends, and get them in on a plan. Arrange a date where your friend goes to meet the guy and says you're comming to. You have to get everything to look convincing. Then have a legitimate excuse as to why you can't go, and afterwards, inquire your friend how the meeting with the guy went and how he acted. Can he improvise if something falls through? Can he keep his cool? Then later, maybe try to arrange with a different friend of yours, her boyfriend, and your guy, if you kept him and this time actually go then note anydiferences between hisbehavior when he was alone with your friend, and when you were around. If he was a prick to your friendm, but is charming to you, chances are that he's abusive.

P.S.: Go for nice guys, they might not take you charging off into the sunset on a harley davidson for hot sex in some motel, but they'll treat you well.

P.S.S.: I'm a guy.

I have fallen for some abusive guys before but not because they were abusive but because they seemed nice at the time.

Some of these abusive guys make trust issues hard for me. But I think I have learned some of the red flags to watch for before getting in those situations.

[quote="RightGalaxy"] I know you meant well but what total b***h would set up "her less attractive friend" to see if a guy is abusive? Isn't that the essence of abusiveness too? As if the "less attractive" friend had no worth! A woman finds out if a man is abusive in the first couple weeks of dating...maybe a month at the longest. The abusiveness starts out small and then gets bigger if the woman stands for it. You have to break it off, there's no compromising with an abuser. There's no need to "use" a "friend" for bait to see if a geko is really an alligator. Good friends are hard to find and they're still around when lovers aren't. I could NEVER put a friend in a position to where a potential abuser would be a prick to her and a gentlemen to me "just to determine if he was an abuser". How awful!! How would you like it if I told you, "Put your hand on that stove to see if it's hot." when I was doing the cooking "and" the eating. Would that be right? I should test it myself shouldn't I? Man, I'm glad I'm not "your" friend.
P.S. You're a guy but you're not a nice guy. You should've stopped after the thinker's persepective...right at the period. Maybe you'd like to be an alpha male but the world won't let you."[/quote]

My mom's first husband was abusive, and from what I heard, he was very nice to her until after they got married. She got a divorce and married my father about 10 years later. I'm 15, so I know that they're still in love. The most fighting they ever do is getting occaisionally getting a little short after a hard day's work when they are tired.

Because they are stupid and pitiful. Because they don't know what's best for them. Because they secretly want to be abused, believing they deserve to be beaten black & blue. Abused women will go top incredible lengths to protect and enable the POS men they married.

Think about it.

If they don't enjoy it, why do so many of these women remain with their husbands and protect them, lie for them, make excuses for them?

They may not believe that he did anything wrong.. they may think they deserved to be hit because they were 'bitching'. Ect. Circumstances vary.

Oh they definately have many thought distortions and do not see things clearly. But that doesn't mean they literally 'enjoy' the abuse. You'd be surprised what kind of behavior a diseased mind can rationalize.

How does AA kill?

Are you currently an alcoholic?

Just answer me that.

EDITED: in response to AAKills...