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Greentea
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10 Jan 2009, 12:16 pm

I still struggle with the irrational guilt, but much less since I've been on WP. I just have to make an intellectual effort to remind myself that it's the NLD and not my being uncaring of others which causes my human conflicts and other symptoms.


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outlier
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10 Jan 2009, 1:37 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
cecilfienkelstien wrote:
I feel this way all the time. 0_equal_true I really identify with your bus expierience. That just happened the other daqqy to me. The police were looking for a young man that was dressed similar to me... :oops: I nearly got off the bus I was so scared. And what you said about going through customs .... that happened to me too. although I wasn't questioned. I was just watched closly by the authorities :oops: I wonder if this quilt has to do with Thoery(sp?) of mind stuff?

Maybe it does. I wrote that on a Social Anxiety forum. They could understand the anxiety, but not the guilt as if I actually was the person they were looking for.


I read on SA forums about how many feel guilt when browsing in shops, as though they are under suspicion of shoplifting; especially if they leave without purchasing anything. The anxiety is the most prominent thing, though. (Something to keep in mind: a substantial fraction of those on such forums could have undiagnosed AS.)

I occasionally get the irrational guilt. It was so pronounced in the past that I felt I was taking up unentitled room just existing or using streets and public spaces.

After some encouragement from someone, I confided in them about these thoughts. They went from being nice and concerned to disgustedly calling me broken and saying I need to see a psychiatrist.



Last edited by outlier on 10 Jan 2009, 1:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

10 Jan 2009, 1:39 pm

I have felt guilt over my anxiety and freaking out.



AmberEyes
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11 Feb 2009, 6:28 pm

This is really weird. :?

I never felt guilt, not once.
I never had occasion to. 8O

If I'm accused of something I didn't do I stand up for my rights, so do the rest of my family. I swear that members of my family have never felt guilty, why should they? They've never done anything to purposefully hurt or inconvience anyone. It's never occurred to me to take advantage of others. When I have upset others, it's always been completely inadvertent or a genuine misunderstanding.

If anything does happen, it's usually a genuine mistake or us being unaware of some minor rules. If we do inadvertently breach things we always apologise profusely or feel irritated that there are "silly" rules and just live with them. We never feel guilty.

What does guilt feel like, could someone please explain?
It's just never talked about where I live.
Everyone's always "right" and "blameless" in my house lol :lol:.

Guilt punishments don't seem to work on me or anyone else in my family, we seem to be immune to them. We just see the unfairness and that's it, we never feel guilty, just a bit ticked off (irritated).

We have a "go your own way do your own thing" attitude (as long as it's safe and legal of course and doesn't harm others). Guilt just doesn't come into it.

Okay, sometimes I've eaten a few too many cookies out of the jar, but I don't feel guilty, just happy and full. I laugh it off. This is why all the confectionary and cakes saved for others has to be put out of my reach. I need to work more on my self control. I never feel guilty though.

That's one of the reasons I keep out of other people's way is to avoid embarrassment and misunderstandings.

I avoid breaking rules because I know that if I get caught I will be inconvenienced and feel angry. It's not because of any guilt though, I swear.



DanteRF
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11 Feb 2009, 10:54 pm

I have a guilty conscience, but not to your extent. I almost always have a feeling like I've done something wrong. Nothing like I've never traveled somewhere, or something good I've done wasn't enough



Dussel
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12 Feb 2009, 1:12 am

"Guild" is always irrational - per definition. It is a metaphysical and irrational concept, so deeply woven in our society that the most do not scrutinize it, even people which otherwise could be counted under the follower
Responsibility is a rational concept up to certain point and should be used to analyse the consequence of our doing or not-doing and to correct those.



misslottie
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12 Feb 2009, 6:39 am

oh, i absolutly used to feel this way; thankfully it stopped sometime in my twenties.

it's really funny looking back on it, but i remember at the time i just used to HATE myself. i think guilt came from the 'you're not trying hard enough' stuff everyone threw at me. and it just distorted and became things i could not have solved.

so, no, its not just you!



samtoo
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12 Feb 2009, 7:03 am

Hell - when I'm feeling really down, I get a whole array of irrational emotions. I get angry because I feel guilty, I get guilty because I feel angry...
I even ponder if I'm strong or weak, then feel angry at the prospect of thinking I'm weak. I also feel that people are out to get me, and as*hole corporate business heads are trying to kick me down.

It's not a nice phase to be in.


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b9
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12 Feb 2009, 8:18 am

as far as i can see, nothing that is going wrong in the world is my fault. so i am free of guilt.



pluto
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12 Feb 2009, 4:53 pm

AmberEyes wrote:
This is really weird. :?

I never felt guilt, not once.
I never had occasion to. 8O

If I'm accused of something I didn't do I stand up for my rights, so do the rest of my family. I swear that members of my family have never felt guilty, why should they? They've never done anything to purposefully hurt or inconvience anyone. It's never occurred to me to take advantage of others. When I have upset others, it's always been completely inadvertent or a genuine misunderstanding.

If anything does happen, it's usually a genuine mistake or us being unaware of some minor rules. If we do inadvertently breach things we always apologise profusely or feel irritated that there are "silly" rules and just live with them. We never feel guilty.

What does guilt feel like, could someone please explain?
It's just never talked about where I live.
Everyone's always "right" and "blameless" in my house lol :lol:.

Guilt punishments don't seem to work on me or anyone else in my family, we seem to be immune to them. We just see the unfairness and that's it, we never feel guilty, just a bit ticked off (irritated).

We have a "go your own way do your own thing" attitude (as long as it's safe and legal of course and doesn't harm others). Guilt just doesn't come into it.

Okay, sometimes I've eaten a few too many cookies out of the jar, but I don't feel guilty, just happy and full. I laugh it off. This is why all the confectionary and cakes saved for others has to be put out of my reach. I need to work more on my self control. I never feel guilty though.

That's one of the reasons I keep out of other people's way is to avoid embarrassment and misunderstandings.

I avoid breaking rules because I know that if I get caught I will be inconvenienced and feel angry. It's not because of any guilt though, I swear.


I avoid breaking rules too but I must have a guilty look about me because I was once approached by a security guard in a shop who was convinced I'd pocketed something.He
looked suitably sheepish when I produced only my key and loose change.

Most of the underlying guilt I sometimes feel however isn't so much about doing anything wrong,it's more like a nagging sense that I haven't always made a big enough effort to pro-actively help others (or myself for that matter). It's an irrational feeling and I have to use
logic to reason it away.

BTW AmberEyes,I noticed you had 'bumped' this thread.Is it possible that subconsciously you're feeling a little guilty about never having felt guilty ! :wink: Sorry,I'm only kidding .. :)


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RoisinDubh
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12 Feb 2009, 5:01 pm

I never realised this might be an Aspie thing....hell, I always blamed it on being raised Catholic!

I blame myself for EVERYTHING that goes wrong, even if I can intellectually deduce that there's no way it was my fault. It's for this reason I hate people who shift blame from themselves onto whomever might be around at the time....whether or not I really believe I had a part in something, it doesn't take much to convince me I did.

I also, like the OP, feel guilty for what I DON'T do....for instance, I had to totally avoid coverage of things like the tsunami, and Hurricane Katrina, to at least CONTROL the guilt I felt for not thinking up something brilliant to help all those people.

My mother (who I've been quoting a lot today) once said.....and she was totally spot-on....'you could find a way to blame yourself for WWII!'



pavel_filonov
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12 Feb 2009, 5:21 pm

I have a perpetually guilty conscience too. For instance, if money goes missing from the safe at work, I have to really think to remind myself that I haven't taken it, even though I know full well I haven't, because I just wouldn't! I've been through phases of not being able to get in lifts, use public transport etc because i felt like I was infringing on other peoples space - that only happens when I'm really "ill" though. I haven't experienced it for about a year. I think its an extreme of misreading social cues. Sometimes I can't seem to break out of the thought pattern - I'd say its one of the worst aspects of my AS.



samtoo
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12 Feb 2009, 5:23 pm

b9 wrote:
as far as i can see, nothing that is going wrong in the world is my fault. so i am free of guilt.


That's a refreshing perspective. Good for you. :)


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mitharatowen
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12 Feb 2009, 5:26 pm

I'm guilty for everything :roll: I always feel like a complete and total loser and I do everything wrong. I'm guilty right now!! Frankly, I'm quite tired of it and contimplating switching to the 'I don't give a --' side



pluto
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12 Feb 2009, 6:54 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
I'm guilty for everything :roll: I always feel like a complete and total loser and I do everything wrong. I'm guilty right now!! Frankly, I'm quite tired of it and contimplating switching to the 'I don't give a --' side


Oh dear,now I feel guilty that my thread is
bringing out guilty feelings in others.Quite
right Mitharatowen,let's all say 'I don't give a..'
-but hopefully not upsetting people too much.


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