How much has lack of ToM affected your life?

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Yeah...I think so...sometimes it does feel to me as though when people exit the room, they cease to exist (not literally, but in any relevant sense) until they come back. I don't usually spend much time thinking about what they're doing or whether its making them happy or whatever - they're not here now, so they're existence has no direct impact on me. I am always thrown when someone asks "Did you miss me?" Uhm...no...I knew you were coming back eventually.

That doesn't mean I'm incapable of being concerned about the welfare of others - at this moment I'm very upset about the treatment being received by several people I barely know. Perhaps because I know they're dealing with a type of bullying, and that's something I can relate to.

So I think I sort of grasp the idea, but I still say this is something everybody experiences to one level or another. Maybe its worse in an autistic than a neurotypical, or perhaps like so many other social skills we have to learn it the hard way, when it comes more easily to others. I can't really recall a time when I was utterly unaware of the feelings of others, but I suppose that may have to do with the parenting and guidance I received early on.

I think that understanding, and anticipating, another person's thoughts, intentions, or desires could be one of my biggest blind spots. As far back as I can remember, my trying to follow the reasoning by which people decide do something always was, and still is to some extent, a mind-bending puzzle to me.

I had never heard the term before, but from reading through the answers here I have to say significant impairment. I most certainly can relate to the feeling of others "not being real", I must have been a teenager when I was able to work through that although the issue does sometimes still rear it's head on occasion.

I also tend to expect others to feel the same way that I do, and often they do not and I can get a real rude awakening when I eagerly share my feelings only to find that others feel the complete opposite. I have mostly learned to keep quiet about my opinions because of this, I'm known as the quiet one because I usually don't open my mouth to share my thoughts or feelings. I don't want to deal with the repercussions. I've also learned to sugar coat or avoid the truth when people ask me questions and I think they won't like the answer.

I also tend to expect others to say what they mean and mean what they say, and I can be rigid about it. I hate being lied to, I would rather just hear the truth in the first place, I don't want people to tell me what they think I want to hear (which I know is ironic since I sugar coat things myself). I apparently don't pick up on jokes (though I do have a sense of humor, I just don't like practical jokes or 'hey I was just kidding!' kind of jokes). Sometimes I think that someone is lying and they aren't. It's so complicated, it's no wonder I prefer my own company.