How many people do you feel close to?

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ASgirl
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04 Apr 2010, 11:10 am

i genuinely feel close to a member of the family and one professional.



nika7
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04 Apr 2010, 11:15 am

I am close to one adult and 3 kids. i am kind of close to my grandma and my dad... but not really. not like they are to other family. so yeah, basically just one person. there are a few more people i can talk to if i really need to



Kaysea
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04 Apr 2010, 11:49 am

Lugubriously, the people with whom I have been closest are dead... Not to sound pessimistic. I would say that I have very deep connections (not necessarily emotional) with probably 6 to 8 people - 2 relatives, my significant other, best friend from high school, a couple of friends from college and a couple of friends from my current city (although one of them now lives in the UK). I don't necessarily keep in touch as good as I should with most of them, but still have a very deep connection and loyalty to them.



anbuend
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04 Apr 2010, 11:55 am

Three. Two human one feline.


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exhausted
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04 Apr 2010, 1:11 pm

i think i usually have one or two people in my life i can talk to, or no one at all--it varies. but one or two is usually the upper limit. i love my aunt, but i haven't talked to her in months. when i do talk to her, we can go on for hours. usually, though, i like conversations where i don't have to say much... i don't feel comfortable talking for the most part.



DarrylZero
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04 Apr 2010, 1:23 pm

One.



Amik
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04 Apr 2010, 1:38 pm

I'm very close to my hubby and we talk about pretty much anything that's on our minds. I'm not much of a talker though, even when I'm with him, but that's just because I don't feel the need to talk much in general.

I have one friend who I only meet around once per year (she lives far away), but when we do meet, we usually talk non-stop for hours. Few people can get me to talk as much as she does.

I'm not close to anyone else. I used to be close to my sister, but we've grown apart from each other in the past few years. When I'm with other family members, I try to talk a bit, just for them, but I don't share much with them or feel close to them.

With other people, I rarely say anything at all unless I need to for practical reasons, or if they start talking to me. I know many people find it strange that I'm so quiet and can go through the whole day without talking, but that's just the way I am.

On the rare occasion that I start talking really a lot (which is usually with my friend mentioned above), people literally stare and go speechless, because they realize they've never heard me talk like that before, even after knowing me for years.



lotuspuppy
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04 Apr 2010, 5:18 pm

I count seven people: my mother, my grandmother, my boyfriend, two siblings, and three close friends. I have varying degrees of closeness to these people, though. All live far from me, so I talk to some of them only once a month. One even lives in Germany, so I almost never see her.



millie
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04 Apr 2010, 5:41 pm

Not many. I don;t have a lasting sense of closeness with anyone really, except for maybe my mum, some family members (sho i rarely see or connect with) and my son. I do feel a maternal instinct with my son.
What I do know is that my closeness to people is internally and cogntively generated by me, and it actually has little to do with them, if that makes any sense. I can feel real intensity with people, and for many years I think i mistook this sensory intensity and an inability to know when I ended and another person began - in a sensory sense (in that space between words) - for closeness.
But it isn't the same thing at all, and I have only learned that in the past few years, really.

Most of my connection with others is in fact self oriented and generated. It has little to do with them. If I feel a connection, it is fleeting and I do not actually have the wiring or the space or the capacity to feel a LASTING connection with many people at all.
I feel as close or in fact actually closer, to Emily Dickinson or Roberto Bolano as I do to my sister or a woman friend in a 12 step program I attend. I feel closer to Goya and Dante and W.B Yeats and Cervantes than I do to someone I may have called a "best friend" at some stage in my life.
I have oft been criticised in my life for being a poor friend or a bad friend. I just don't "get" the continuity over space-time that is required in terms of typical friendship. And I don't get a lasting sense of closeness. I do get this closeness with my son however, and I do get it with nature, animals and some others.

My best friends are usually dead, clever people I have never met and whose work I relate to.



Apple_in_my_Eye
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04 Apr 2010, 5:41 pm

Zero.



druidsbird
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04 Apr 2010, 5:58 pm

My parents, brother, and girlfriend. And one cat, if that counts.

Not close with my sisters, their families, my extended family, or any of my coworkers. And I have no friends.


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Athenacapella
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04 Apr 2010, 6:01 pm

Zero.



Stellar
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04 Apr 2010, 6:01 pm

My mom. :hmph:



ursaminor
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04 Apr 2010, 6:16 pm

I am not sure what you mean by feeling close.
I am not sure what feeling is besides pain and touch.
I only have very basic feelings that I can recognise.
They are sad, happy and angry.
I am certain other people feel no more than these emotions, either.
Wikipedia does not agree with me and lists a lot of emotions.
Affection Anger Annoyance Angst Apathy Anxiety Awe Boredom Compassion Contempt Curiosity Depression Desire Despair Disappointment Disgust Ecstasy Empathy Envy Embarrassment Euphoria Fear Frustration Gratitude Grief Guilt Happiness Hatred Hope Horror Hostility Hysteria Jealousy Joy Loathing Love Lust Misery Pity Pride Rage Regret Remorse Sadness Shame Suffering Surprise Wonder, Worry
Some of these are not even emotions or can be compiled with others.
I shall make a shortlist, repairing the above list.
Anger Apathy Joy Sadness Surprise
Wikipedia and thus, people, are redundant.
Lust = Desire
Ecstasy = Joy
Rage = Anger
Love = Happiness.

Choose one of the above emotions that I am supposed to feel.
Because I cannot see what you feel that I do not.



happymusic
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04 Apr 2010, 6:42 pm

I don't know.



Rose_in_Winter
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04 Apr 2010, 6:42 pm

How about compassion? You might want to see if you can find the capacity for that one. It makes connecting with others much easier.

In terms of people I am close to, I intentionally keep most people at some distance. I seem very open and trusting, but I am not. My trust has been abused too many times. I am close to my mother and father, who have never abused my trust and understand me very well. I am close to my husband. If we're including animals (someone said feline) my dog! Beyond that, I have good friends whom I enjoy being around and am comfortable having a conversation with, but I do not consider any of them close. (There is someone I met recently who has the potential of becoming a close friend, though -- always assuming she can continue to put up with me!)