A couple of questions about mind reading

Post Reply New Topic

What do people mean when they say a person with aspergers cant/have problems reading emotions? I cant really get my head around it completely. I mean i can repeat what I´ve read, but I cant really, truly grasp it. I cant fully grasp what an emotion is to be honest.

Here are some pretty blunt questions that you might find rude, or not. My apologies if you do. If you can answer anyone of them I would be very grateful.

1. If I smile do you understand that im probably in happy mood?

2. If you look at person smiling for long enough will you feel somewhat happy as well?

3. If someone yawns, do you think that will make you yawn as well?

4. Do you understand the concept of "feeling"?

5. Do you "feel" happy/sad/whatever?

6. If you're listening to someone, do find yourself mimicing some of the other persons body movements/facial expressions?

7. How would you define an emotion (your immediate thoughts rather than wikipedia it or trying to write a "correct" answer)?

8. On a scale 1-10 how well are you at reading peoples emotions?



Regards
em pa thy.hero kua p p. co m

doc s.go og le. co m/document/d/1I IHe7iqvaYI0U89F_Q2u zjgNVFKH bxuS8Ie1xPpVB44/edit

Speaking for myself I have problems reading body language and subtle facial expressions. I always thought I was perfectly normal in this respect until I did some visual tests where you have to say what particular people are feeling in a selection of photographs. I can see happy, sad, angry, fascination and various other emotional states but apparently there are many more subtle expressions expressing a wide range of emotions that I can't see. It is the fine details of emotions that I can't differentiate between.

I'll just add that due to this semi-blindness of other people's emotions I have to rely on their words. The trouble is people often say one thing while apparently expressing something different through body language. Here is an example of a serious blunder I made a number of years ago: My girlfriend at the time asked me if I loved her. Without pausing I replied honestly "No, but I like you." at which point she burst into tears and it was the beginning of the end of the relationship. Looking back I understand now that she was seeking emotional reassurance rather than wanting a true reply to her question.

Last edited by TallyMan on 05 Aug 2012, 2:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think "emotions" are a right term.....

because you have aspergers or because you have a low (if you do) a low vocabulary? Give me an example of an emotion you cant spot. Interested.

I put a test/training app here: em pa thy.hero kua p p. co m
try it out if you want. i would love to hear what % you get. My feeling after reading in this forum is some of you guys seem to score good on these tests but feel you "have to be bad" at reading body language because thats what people expect from an asperger. Am i wrong you think?

Mm, I agree. I can honestly say that i dont what to call it. State of mind/feeling/thoughts + feelings/emotions/thoughts + emotions/.....

What do you think is correct? Or what is it that people have problem understanding? How would you define it?

I dont understand why cant we learn those subtle expressions

There are people like Antonio Damasio that spend large parts of their professional careers studying what emotion is. It's a big complicated mechanism, and I think that someone like Damasio would cringe at those stupid emotion recognition tests being used to diagnose people with emotion-perception disorders.

Yes, of course.



Possibly.



It does.



Of course. We all have feelings; those of us on the autistic spectrum as just semi-blind as to what others are feeling unless they tell us.



Of course.



Sometimes.



A positive or negative sensation regarding my mood at that moment in time. The strongest two emotions I experience are love and anger.



This is a very difficult question to answer because we don't know what 10 really means. I used to think my vision was perfect until I tried on a pair of someone else's spectacles and discovered I had myopia and my vision was not that good.

I have a vocabulary well above average as is my IQ. This is common with people with aspergers; however, we have a tendency to express ourselves using convoluted grammar or use uncommon words.

Tricky to tell you which emotions I can't spot for the simple reason I can't spot them! However, I've been in situations where for example someone is apparently expressing pride but they just look happy to me. Similarly I have difficulty separating negative emotions like boredom, sadness, frustration and so on - I see the negativity but not the cause of the negativity. Sometimes we can bore people when talking but can't always detect that in their body language or facial expressions and can talk them to death or until they tell us to stop talking or to change the subject!

As someone else mentioned it may be possible for us to learn to recognise these subtle emotional differences but it doesn't come naturally to us like it does for neurotypical people.

Another problem we have is knowing how to respond in an appropriate way when someone is being highly emotional - crying for example. We tend to rely on words to comfort the person and attempt to provide practical advice when in reality they might just need a hug.

@: Tallyman

Thanks for answering. Very interesting. In my unprofessional view, you're just normal. A bit bad at reading emotions thats all. I dont really get it..

Like you wrote "My girlfriend at the time asked me if I loved her. Without pausing I replied honestly "No, but I like you.""
So? I have friends that said the same, some lied. Not necessarily an aspie-thing. Did you understand that she would be happier if you said yes and that she might be sad if you said no?
You could argue that a lie would make her more unhappy in the long run, and that you're more socially skilled by not lying. But if you didnt understand a no could make her sad, i would agree its not common.

There are an assortment of other aspects related to aspergers. When we socialise it is often difficult for us because it requires a lot of effort to participate and small-talk is a nightmare for us. We aren't likely to ask about your health or your kids or other pleasantries but instead comment that you have a new mobile phone (cell) and discuss the features on it and the coverage. After a period of socialising it often becomes too much and we become quiet or withdraw into solitude to recharge. Personally I prefer the company of my own thoughts and live exclusively inside my head - it is like the outside world is somewhere I venture to periodically but home is being alone in my mind. I hardly notice I have a body let alone have awareness of what clothes I'm wearing. You see this phenomenon in a more extreme manner with people who are full blown autistic.

Scoring good on those tests like the RMET doesn't mean that you can use the knowledge in real-time. I have no problem learning the microest of microeggspressions if I purposefully learn about them. I have no problem detecting them and making the connections if I purposefully do it, like if I were an FBI person in a show like "Lie To Me". I just don't do it in real-time. I can't talk about some topic eggsplicitly and also do these analyses eggsplicitly at the same time. My brrrainzzz are too small for that. NTs can do these things subconsciously, automatically, so that's where I'm different from NTs at reading non-verbal cues.

I don't naturally mimic or match other people either. I can mimic people on purpose though, but there is a time delay when I do that, as compared to an NT doing it automatically.

while really liked the description here of the few facial expressions i can read i want to say that well, not being a 10 at reading people subtle emotions doesn't mean i'm not good at other things like often better reading people's meanings in the grand scheme of things

That's totally right.
I remember that my younger days were so happy because I was unconscious of how people reacted to the way I look and behave. But then traumatic events and rejection from serious-business as*hole environment caused me to severely overthink every little think I say/think/do/wear which caused severe anxiety and pain.
I think that the state of unconsciousness is a typical state of autistic mind and the reason we overthink everything so hard is not because we have autism, but because of our past experiences.

But


Are you sure that's due to autism? I don't ask about these things because I'm not interested in them-I interact for fun and talking about family is not fun at all. In other words, it's due to my life approach/interests. Or so I thought. Was I wrong?

1. If I smile do you understand that im probably in happy mood?
It depends on how you act too. Some people can smile just to be friendly but aren't always necessarily in a happy mood.

2. If you look at person smiling for long enough will you feel somewhat happy as well?
Yes, it is nice to see someone smiling, and it is nice to smile with them.

3. If someone yawns, do you think that will make you yawn as well?
Sometimes I feel I want to yawn after someone else yawns.

4. Do you understand the concept of "feeling"?
Yes, but I don't know what ''concept'' means.

5. Do you "feel" happy/sad/whatever?
Yes, all the time. My emotions are very strong, and I can always tell when I am happy or sad. Obviously, with emotions, there are a lot of grey areas, and normally I am just neutral.

6. If you're listening to someone, do find yourself mimicing some of the other persons body movements/facial expressions?
Not really, since I have discovered (by self-filming) that I automatically make facial expressions without realising it.

7. How would you define an emotion (your immediate thoughts rather than wikipedia it or trying to write a "correct" answer)?
It's kind of hard to explain, since it all depends on the context, I can't really give an answer off-hand. But if I can give an example, say, if I went to my auntie's and she seems a bit serious, almost everything she talks about is negative, and hasn't smiled much or said anything generally ''happy'', it's all kind of doom and gloom, that's when I can define that she is feeling a bit depressed today. Again it all depends on the person, some show emotions more than others.

8. On a scale 1-10 how well are you at reading peoples emotions?
About 9. I wouldn't say I'm absolutely brilliant, but I can read emotions and body language quite instinctively.

It seems to be common with autism. We tend to be thing oriented rather than people oriented. Maybe that is a generalisation but I think there is a strong correlation.