Kids on the spectrum don't belong in mainstream school

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Lethea
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25 Feb 2014, 7:00 am

Spec ed looks horrendous, but NT school f****d me up. I'm currently in a mental hospital. I might be transferred to a school for the mentally ill.


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25 Feb 2014, 7:19 am

Working at a school myself, I can tell you that little is done to teach real world life skills; NT or not. The difference is they can cope and adapt easier than we can, and in the end NT people can get bullied too. My school life was as bad as it can get, but holding on to that is MY issue and nobody else. Things only have as much power as we give them, and most of the time our issues would have been there irregardless; having someone to blame just helps to remove blame from ourselves. I think it is important to learn coping skills at a young age. These skills have to be learned by all children, unfortunately for us the learning curve is longer most of the time. I like to think that every deficit is balanced with a gift-> I can't look you in the eye but I'll finish that math problem before you find a calculator. I will unintentionally offend you but I will also fix the things you can't.

Try not to see the disability. See the strengths and stifle the weakness. And, yes I know it is just not that easy for some of us. I also think a lot of responsibilities that should be those of the parents gets put on the school system. This seems even more true when parents themselves are on the spectrum; especially those that are not diagnosed. My parents just assumed school was giving me all the tools I needed, and offered little real world guidance beyond "stay out of trouble and get good grades so you can go to college".



ouroborosUK
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25 Feb 2014, 8:02 am

As many people mentioned, it certainly depends on the individual person on the spectrum, but it also depends on the school. Even different "mainstream" schools are different. I went to a mainstream school, and even though I now think that I would probably have grown up a more balanced and happier adult if I had been in a different environment as a teenager, my opinion based on what I read and observed around me is that my mainstream school was much, much better than most. When I compare to what some other people (autistic or not) report, the teachers and staff in my school had high ethics and dedication, worked a lot together and did an outstanding job at preventing bullying and violence. At a moment when I was in middle school I was teased and made fun of by other children, but quite quickly it stopped. I later heard that the teachers had taken the initiative to call a meeting with the teasing children and the class representatives to make sure that would stop. I only learnt of that years later.

Another thing I want to say on that topic is that even for NT people, mainstream school is very far from being perfect, and most intelligent NT people will agree with that (up to a point). Several NT people I know are quite revolted by the way school can harm and crush children to turn them into mindless drones, and they advocate alternative schools and education systems.


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25 Feb 2014, 8:07 am

I'd not advocate a "special school" for people with autism/AS too quickly.

Maybe it's different now, but the "ret*d" class I had were really designed for the "ret*ds."

Just getting you to do basic reading/writing/math. More time doing arts and crafts. Graduate with a piece of paper not good enough to wipe your bottom with.

A child, no matter their condition, needs to be challenged. The needs of a child with autism/AS will be unique to the child.

The "torture" of mainstream school for the autistic/AS kid is the social area more than the academic, and teachers have become incompetent protectors and disciplinarians.

You need to put your kid in a school that strives to work with each kid to maximize results and believes in mutual respect and discipline in the classroom. You also need to be very hands-on with your kid's education rather than entrust it wholly to some teacher/administrator in a building for 8 hours a day.



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25 Feb 2014, 8:23 am

TheSperg wrote:
Public school was torture for me, the closest thing I can relate it to is being thrown into prison with predatory inmates and sadistic guards. Not only did it NOT prepare me for the real world(unless your definition of the real world is living in a prison) it messed me up socially and mentally and it took me years to fix that.

I got to the point I ignored everyone because by middle school kids would torture me with saying hey like your shoes.....naw I think they are hideous you %$@&*...........nah man I really like them. They just wouldn't stop, even when I wasn't reacting at all, when I was totally silent.

I dropped out of middle school despite doing work at a college grade level, just because of the bullying torture. I was different enough that the kids instantly seized on it and wouldn't let go like a pitbull.


Yet another WP member who has to plagiarize my life story! :lol: In all seriousness though, I could have written this word for word. The only 'preparation' Junior High AKA Middle School did was to make me jaded, miserable and distrustful. The wounds are deep and I am STILL trying to work through them. As for the whole 'it prepares you for life nonsense', I would never hear any sane adult say "everyone needs to spend a few weeks in solitary confinement to prepare them for work life." Even prisons to my knowledge have different areas based on how violent an offender is and what crime they committed and segregate accordingly but not in school.

I once saw a documentary on what life is like in a jail and rather than scaring me I thought "hey, it's not so bad! Even the most hardened criminals can be reasoned with and act somewhat predictably and have a (warped) code of honor!" Junior High kids are just plain crazy and will do ANYTHING the pack does like they have no will of their own. I felt like I was in an insane asylum most days being in Junior High and otherwise nice, so called nerdy kids could become vicious and sadistic within seconds. I was targeted because of being Aspie and being stuck in the crack between 'normal' and 'weird'. Go figure that in my work life I have been almost universally liked!

Having said all that, I'm not really a fan of 'special needs' schools as in many cases they can keep borderline kids from reaching their full potential because they are thrown in with children who are seriously disabled and brought down to that level. Where I was though we had the opposite problem: one kid had the mental capacity of a 3-4 year old in grade 6 and constantly disrupted the class because he was unable to understand the basic rules of school and drove the teacher absolutely insane. He couldn't even do the work: he just sat and colored. He was mainstreamed even though he had no business in a regular class.



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25 Feb 2014, 8:24 am

Sethno wrote:
Skilpadde wrote:
I am very glad I was main streamed all the way. IMO aspies should never be in spec ed.

I'm not sure separate schools is the answer, since as someone mentioned, more impaired kids could be as distracting/damaging to Aspies/HFAs as "normal" kids in a "normal" school can be.

Also have to agree, tho', that kids are not sweet little cherubs. They can be total monsters, like wolves romaing in packs, or even solitary beasts looking for prey.
.

its not just a burden on HFAs,those of us who are low functioning can also damaged by being schooled with HFAs or neurotypicals, am speaking as a lfa who was severely damaged by the inclass and out of class bullying had recieved from high functioning/neurotypical individuals in a hardcore catholic infant/junior school, was also severely damaged by bullying from kids with shtty behavior,hfas and adhders in a special college that was attached to a special school for kids with EBD.
bullying was accepted by teachers in both school and the college because it was assumed did not know any better.


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25 Feb 2014, 8:32 am

My public school life could be bad, but it was helped by spec ed unit. And based on that unit and other experiences I can say that a special school would probably have been worse. I was actually quire responsible and smart, so I was frustrated to no end that many of the other people in the unit just dragged me down, the unit actually gave me a certificate for having focus, an entire school of that would probably have driven me bonkers or become sloppy myself.

I also ended up at one time in an English class that was for the people who were on the lower end, that is people that needed help including all the other sped ed students. And that was probably the worst class I have ever had, the students could not focus at all so we rarely got much done, and the other students treated the teacher horribly, I felt so bad for her. It was strange that I would have been put there because my apparent trouble but I actually had an interest in writing as I write a bit as a hobby now. But if I stayed in that class I probably would be dumber than I currently am.

Rarely could I find someone else in the spec ed unit that was as interested in study as myself, in fact I had a horrible enough time there that I instead went to the library. Although I was alone even within spec ed, I suppose there is a sliver of hope that I met some like minded people when I attended a one time program where students from various schools from around the city with learning difficulties went to a university, probably the only time I have ever felt there were people actually like me including those with learning disabilities.


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25 Feb 2014, 8:34 am

Sharkattack, I have read your posts, and you might as well be me with what you posted. Though I did used to think the scars would be permanent, but they have I would say faded now. Depends on your circumstances though. For instance, I got smacked around, but never got beaten into the hospital.

But I don't know if an all-autistic school is the answer. Autistic people can tear at each other just as much as neurotypicals. The only difference is the neurotypicals will turn on those different to them, so we get singled out.

I would say it's a matter of staff. Some schools are able to shut bullying down. Problem is it's often just swept under the carpet and ignored. Bullying is something which gets nowhere near enough attention put on it by educators. It needs to be prioritised. That kids are killing themselves over bullying in first World countries is an absolute disgrace.



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25 Feb 2014, 8:37 am

Mainstream-educated and sat in the rear of the classroom. Not expected to have to be in speaking situations (therefore nobody really knew), since the teachers did not ever pay notice to those in the rear of the room. Just wrote all of my assignments and tests.



LeftWeems
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25 Feb 2014, 8:58 am

Everyone has different experiences so I won't knock yours but for me I think it would have been worse. Sure the other kids could be hell at times but most of the kids were okay to me. And I think a special school would have just made me feel different. I already felt uneasy being taken out of the class room for special ed stuff like speech therapy, smaller classes for subjects I had difficulty with, and occupational therapy. I didn't know I had or what Asperger's was until I was 15 in 2002. If I could do it all over again honestly, I'd try to be more outgoing with people and less afraid. All easier said then done I grant you but I would have hated to be at a special school.



iammaz
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25 Feb 2014, 9:18 am

I went to a public school because my parents thought that changing my school (I had fairly constant trouble with teachers) would be harder for me to deal with. They were probably right (and it has taken many years since to be able to admit that). an ASD segregated school would have been torture for me.

When i was in middle/high school (it was all just high school back then), the policy was to "teach to the middle". the students who fell behind were pushed into remedial classes. I was ahead of the class and there was nothing in place for that. Sometimes I could get away with reading and listening to music, sometimes I got so bored that I did things like write a computer virus.

I don't believe in segregating all ASD, it would depend on the individual situation. what would have helped me is if I had access to some advanced classes, especially ones in line with my interests. I feel that I missed out on some opportunities by being limited to the standard curriculum but that's just a "what if...".

The kids were never too much of a problem for me and apart from a couple of exceptions, gave me a wide berth. I think they both found me useful and were quite scared of me. The teachers were mean and i was in trouble constantly but if i had more to do i probably wouldnt have accidentally embarrassed them so much.



tonmeister
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25 Feb 2014, 11:38 am

Like many people, I am still recovering from public school, even though it's been 20 years since I last attended a public school. Private school (non-special ed) my last two years of high school probably saved me. I was not diagnosed as a child and teachers thought I was lazy, disinterested, irresponsible, or just plain weird. Kids were even less accepting, although I did always have a few close friends, especially among the other band and orchestra kids.
However, I'm actually kind of glad I had to go through it, and I'm not sure I would have wanted a diagnosis at a young age. I don't know if I would have tried and done all the things I did post-high school if I had grown up sheltered and secluded from the NT world. I knew I was different from other people, and I knew that some things were a lot harder for me than they seemed to be for others. But in some ways, that pushed me to be better at the things I knew that I could do - music, writing, computers, etc. And while I certainly spent plenty of time locked in my room reading, playing computer games, and listening to records, I also tried really hard to have a social life, with varying degrees of success.
Yes, the rejection and constant bullying still hurts years later. I still have nightmares about being sent back to public high school. But I got through it, and I think I'm a better person for it.



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25 Feb 2014, 11:41 am

I have been to 3 different public schools as well as 1 year at a boarding school and a catholic school. and all of them where a living hell. The catholic school was the worst for bullying. I had one true close friend at the boarding school (Might have been AS as well.) which committed suicide when he was 22. BTW: his parents where millionaires and own a company. The biggest thing about being in school for me was I was always watching my back all the time. I never really had any time to learn anything anyways.



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25 Feb 2014, 12:27 pm

I went to mainstream school, and despite all the hurtful rejection I received from other girls in my class, I'm still glad I went to mainstream school rather than a special school. Luckily I wasn't bullied, just tormented a few times.


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25 Feb 2014, 12:42 pm

I probably belonged in a special school when we lived in Washington because the schools were bad for me and I wouldn't get the right help I needed and I would have been a target for bullying and rejection and it would have made me depressed and suicidal and destroyed me my mom said. But yet special schools were out of the question for them so there was the catch 22. That is a problem with kids who are close to normal, too normal for special schools, too abnormal for mainstream. So we moved and it was a small area with small schools so the school was good for me even though it wasn't the best in general. I found out the schools further north were worse because it sounded like my old schools in Washington. My ex boyfriend told me his experience and teachers didn't really want to help their special students and my ex barely graduated. His principal just had him graduate because he wanted him out of his school so he wouldn't have to deal with him the following year. For god's sake it was a small area too he lived in and a small school too.

But the move also helped my brothers too. My brother got challenged in school work because he was so smart and the work at his grade level was too easy for him and in high school, he was allowed to take courses that were for upper grades.


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25 Feb 2014, 12:44 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

I feel like attending regular public school played a major role in preventing my functioning in the 'real world'.


Me too but I feel the same way about all the special classes and schools I was in too, except maybe for one that I went to for a few months that as far as I can remember wasn't too bad but I was used to skipping school a lot by then so it didn't last long before I had to go to family court again and got sent away. I think I should have been home schooled.