Anything you would like to ask an NT

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Hi Everyone! So here I go..

It's fad or trending.. This annoys me too sometimes lol! NTs have the tendency to do that to belong, to be in the crowd but sometimes they just adopt the interest as well and there are also those that imitates someone else's. However how NTs react to people with a unique or very different interest than their own varies among us, there are just some that expect everyone to like what they like. And there are those that may be like me, who likes it different, not mainstream, who likes people who have a strong sense of individuality.. It may not also be much of a problem as they have made you feel too, it could just be a reaction or an expression about your difference that they don't really mean or not as bad as they had conveyed..


Don't worry NT's do that to other NTs too.. Sucky huh?! Some people tend to be like that for many reason, for one that i know, these people do it for entertainment which doesn't make it any less wrong. It could be psychological for some that they were bullied too in their past or that they have low esteem as well that they think or feel bullying others makes them better or bigger than who they are bullying or at least the self they think they have. it could also be a form of defense or coping mechanism for a not so desirable disposition in their lives that we do not see which doesn't make it any less wrong too..


Glad that helps and Thanks, and yes it's pretty much like that, so it's really so much better to stick with happy people.. hehe..


I don't know how that started in history, in other asian countries we bow. Now if personally close with someone, we kiss cheeks or hug for hi and good bye.. Shaking hands is just a social courtesy of greeting someone mostly practice by the western culture. You just do it, nothing really much to it, nothing behind it like you need to touch lol! its just a gesture, that you acknowledge the presence of the other person.


Well, actually not all of us are like that, there are NTs that are socially awkward, withdrawn, depressed and drugged too lol! It depends on how a person receive or cope with the events and/or people in their lives or with life in general, and their personality too. As for the social energy, as a neurotypical it's almost a part of daily need to socialize, we need to interact with other people and connect. This is to gratify our emotional needs and like me, i draw my energy from it and there are those that would exhaust it.. hehe.. Others could draw energy from it from being excited, pleased or stimulated by the outcome or just the socialization itself.
Now sleep hours, depends on the lifestyle and also personality at a given time in life, some could sometimes only sleep for 2-3hrs and some could sleep for 10-12, nothing definite for an NT for there are a lot of factors that could affect it..
And sorry, I don't believe I have, even sure.. I'm scared someone would do that to me, plus I have a good understanding in people that i manage to get the result I want or at least the minimum without having have to do that.. But I do admit that would be mischievously entertaining and interesting..



Hi Ms.Shadi! You just listen, nod your head when everybody else does and make similar remarks others are doing. LOL! haha.. Sorry, I don't mean to be rude on this one but at least you have AS that you could use for an excuse. As an NT the disinterest could really bug us, spacing out is okay I guess.. As an NT i throw in similar/related ideas but I don't really care about the topic too, just to show I'm there, acting. If I really don't want to talk about it, I'll do nothing, wait for the topic to finish then insert new one. Now if i really am that disinterested I'd leave as if something important to do or came up.. hehe.. Or you could also do what I do, but try to say it in the nicest possible way you can, though its a little rude but the honesty and the buttering up will make up for it. I say something like: "Look, I really care a great deal about you, even love, but i just really am not interested with this one." Yeah, No NT nor Aspie could get away from a disinteresting topic of a loved one lol! just wait for it to finish especially if it's important or serious to the speaker, spacing out is good, i do that too. lol! it's okay not to contribute to it, space out but you could look the speaker in the shoulder to show he have your attention.

As to why.. Its showing that you care, by listening or giving them the time, being there for them for those that you care about regardless however they are, acknowledging what might be important to them that might not be to us.. Because sometimes that's all they need, you being there. It's them being received; having their existence acknowledged by those they care about..

@ALL
So were those helpful?? hehe.. Anyways, I think I have an idea how I could give you guys a better way of looking or studying to understand NTs by changing your perspective a bit, I'll work on that soon, its already in my head since last night.. just too lazy right now lol.. see ya! Just keep asking, in asking comes answers, not just in this thread ok, even in life..

Last edited by NcNbl on 26 Nov 2010, 12:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you for the advices I will definitely try, maybe a nod here and there if I can stay focused long enough lol just to show I'm there as you said (it actually describes pretty well how I feel, in a way I'm just not there anymore), and the similar remarks may help too, maybe if I focus on trying to think of something I could say it will "keep me there" to a point.




Yes they are helpful, and I think it is very cool of you to answer the questions thanks!

Are you aware that there is a stickied 75-page thread in this very forum on this very topic?

Cool! Anyways just edited my response, added something to answer Jediscrap's query.. Yeah, if you do the nodding and remarks it could also help you focus.. Good luck and have fun practicing that.. hehe..

lol sorry but i am not.. sorry to lack the knowledge of that..

I was not aware of it, but either way I like NcNbl's thread, he is doing a great job at answering our questions.

Please keep doing what you have been doing NcNbl

Awww thank you that's very sweet! *flowers for you!*
I just thought you guys might just want answers from a regular NT, not an expert nor a doctor, just a usual guy's point of view which most NTs cannot answer or express. And so I could also let you have a feel what it's like on the other side by talking to me, like a friend, not a lecture or case study.. but I really think i wanna be an AS doctor or counselor or something like that someday..

haha thank you for the flowers

And Yes to what you said, its nice to get answers from a regular NT.

I think you would probably be a good doctor or counselor, judging by your patience and understanding of our questions

Do NT's ever have ackward socail moments? You know when you said something that was alittle too truthful, or did not come out the way you meant and the person took offense?
What do you do at this point to correct the situation?

I ask this not only for myself but for others here who suffer from these situations often.

why have you taken interest in people with AS, do you have a family member or loved one with AS?

Yep we do have those! Quite common to some even.. It's just being in the wrong page of the topic than the speaker. As some of us would call it, "we are not in the same wavelength" lol! it happens.. Maybe just being an NT and our capability to lie, would lie to ourselves and deny that we have done such, or arrogance which would say that wasn't supposed to be offensive, or just really insensitive or just really out of the wavelength.. so that's how it may not be apparent for you..

Well, sometimes you could salvage the situation by making a light hearted joke about it, but i rather have you not, if you are not confident with you're sense of humor or joke delivery because you might just dig your grave a little deeper lol! when someone took offense however, you salvage it after the event like approach the person after and apologize or try to talk to the person till you feel like you think you had made it up, that you made the person feel like you don't mean it that way.

As for my interest. I'm in love with an Aspie and I can't get through for almost half a year now. I know what AS is, but I don't know what its like, then researching I ran into this forum just this month and I realized then that many reasons I'm attracted to my aspie is because of AS. Now what attracts me to AS is that you have the ability and traits that I don't have, but I wish to have, rendering me to have those that you don't and vice versa. I'm very sociable, cheery, expressive and once called hyper empathetic lol and I've seen many NT conscious so it kinda made me really like the aspie conscious (i'm not really sure i'm using that correctly lol), So being such, I'd like to help by letting you see through my eyes or in my head, luckily I'm articulate in my sense lol.. I value very much your objectivity, not being trivial, the depth along with the innocence, the honesty and many more that I wish NTs would value as much and I would like to adapt those. And I just wish my aspie would know that I would understand and that however anybody is, they are loved and could be loved, and should be happy with themselves. So I'd like you all to know that too.. *tear L:DL I guess i'll just blog about it..

The wavelength thing is a cool idea...I will try it.
I can almost picture two people talking and exchanging psychic vibrations and one person's vibration does a flip and they say something "too honest" and then say...opps my bad..I guess we were not on the same wavelength.
Is that how that goes??

based on your wonderful aspie love story, I knight you....drum roll.....honorary aspie. Now you can tell your true aspie love that you are a knight and you come to tame the dragons of the NT world for her and ride off in the sunset on...falcore the love dragon from The Neverending Story. Of course falcore looks more like a flying cocker spaniel with scales on his back...but this is an aspie love story, so who says dragons have to be lizards?

i hope this question doesn't make you sad.

but do you ever know that someone loves you because you can just feel it? how does it feel?

how do you form a connection with another person?

haha good idea jojobean

I second that

Another Point of View: Laughing in Public at Your Own Thoughts

Yes, NT's can do this, but the big difference is *RARELY*.
If people see you do this once, it will be noted, but not a big deal.
The problem with being AS is that you are more likely to do it again. Do it 3x and they know
something about you is "off". This will make some people more likely to avoid you.
Make your own decision about this.

The Question: Why Don't NT's Do This?
Because NT's like people and enjoy an opportunity to bond socially. They may be thinking their own thoughts while walking down the street, but when they open that door to the barbershop they immediately drop them and become focused on the people in the room. They look up, smile, greet everyone. Remember things about the individuals from last time they met. "How is your aunt?" "Did you finish that bathroom reno?" "How's that bad ankle doing?" etc.

While in the barbershop NT's don't generally space out. They remain focused on the people talking around them, and what their hairdresser is doing. They smile at other's entering and call greetings. They are emersed in the social occasion, not their own thoughts.

NT's top obsession is social bonding and being part of a group.
This goes back 30,000 years to tribal culture and survival.
Those who bonded together to hunt survived better.
It would help to think of NT culture as "a Tribe", and how difficult it is to survive in the jungle as a Tribe of One.
Very few want to try that. They are programmed from eons of breeding to bond.

So they toss aside "obsessions" when the "Tribe" says go-go boots, puffy hair, ballroom dancing, or meerkats (whatever) is no longer cool. It is more important to be part of the Tribe (to survive). This genetic programming goes very deep and is left out of us. What they do not understand is your apparent lack of desire to be part of the tribe. They may even feel on some level you are rejecting their (the Tribe's) values. Primitively speaking, this can make you a danger to the Tribe.

30,000 years ago those that did not bond with the Tribe's values were thrown out.
Not much has changed.

Except on the internet one can now find a relatively small group of people, perhaps scattered around the planet, to share one's more obscure interests. I do!

The Question involved stayed tuned in to perhaps boring discussions.

The basic answer was correct. Stay involved with The People. It's not about the topic.
It's about: Do You Want These People To Like You?

If it's work, you may need their backup as colleagues some day. Don't let them know you are bored. You are probably boring them. They may be faking interest in your talk. You should fake interest in theirs. People are more powerful in groups. Someone to stick up for you is not to be sneezed at. It's called Networking.

If you enjoy going out with a group of people to bowl (for example - maybe you are obsessed with bowling), then look at them when they talk, agree, laugh, and generally they will think you like them. They are there to spend time with people bonding, throwing balls down alleys is second. Throwing the ball is your top priority, not theirs, but you need them. What's the point if there is no one to beat? This can apply to many situations.

If you need to get out of a discussion, remember to SMILE and Say With A Smile "I really hate to go but I have to get *whatever* done", then roll your eyes (as though you do not want to do *whatever*). Leave them thinking you hated to leave, and you will be able to go back. Apologize all over the place if you are female "Oh, I'm SO sorry to go! Such a drag!" Men can simply stop with the eyeroll.