Anything you would like to ask an NT

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I dont think you are stupid at all...anyone who can explain the NT world to AS folks with such patience, understanding, and clarity as you do so well...is not stupid. Most NT's would not know how to answer some of these questions...they would just look at us like we are somehow inferior because we dont know these things by social osmosis yet they would feel lost at how to explain it which makes them feel bad, which they would project onto us.

There is not just one kind of inteligence. Most people think that the only kind of smarts is social and logical, but their is creative smarts, emotional smarts, musical smarts, highly specialized smarts, people smarts, problem solving smarts, long term planning smarts, finacial smarts, mojo smarts, triva smarts, mechanical smarts, intelectual smarts, seeing things as they are smarts, ...I could go of forever, but the fact is that you have demonstrated a keen ability to listen well, and you have the mental clarity to explain how the NT world works in a nuts and bolts kind of way. It takes conciderable intelegence to explain things with clarity to people whose mind does not work like yours, yet you can bridge that gap although you never been on the other side of that bridge.
Although you may not have had our introspective ability...you have your own valuable intelegence and that is what neuro-diversity is all about.

Hehe.. Okay, sorry.. Fine, I'm intelligent in my own special way.. Maybe I'm just not aware nor confident that I am. I just think that I just am really like that. And I just really care, I think of it as caring more than intelligent. But okay.. I'll not think of myself less intelligent or something like that.. Thanks JojoBean!

your welcome, i just hate to see people put themselves down. There are enough people in this world that will be happy to do that for you.

Why do you call tomboys from another time, weirdos? You're just as strange to me.

Why is it okay to be obsessed with something like sports or anamae but if you are obsessed with something like meerkats or an obscure species of animal you are looked at like a freak. When a TV show about them because popular and everyone else is supposedly obsessed with them it's okay.

Sorry ma'am! hehe.. Will never happen again! hehe..

Hey CockneyRebel!
Personally for me I don't find them weird because I grew up with one.. hehe.. You mean some time back? Its just because they don't fit with what certain people or culture define as usual because they are not that aware yet of the diversity in people as to their personality and/or psychology whereas compared to now, people are more aware of many diversities but still not all. They kinda expect people to be the same because before there's really not much going on, they don't know what to think and expect except the usual or the standard behavior, and one can easily label another to give some sort of answer or description to such difference..

Hey PunkyKat..
It's fad or trending.. The similarities within a community or circle would become normal to their conscious. This annoys me sometimes too lol! NTs have the tendency to do that to belong, to be in the crowd but sometimes they just adopt the interest as well and there are also those that imitates someone else's.

However how NTs react to people with a unique or very different interest than their own varies among us, there are just some that expect everyone to like what they like. And there are those that may be like me, who likes it different, not mainstream, who likes people who have a strong sense of individuality.. It may not also be much of a problem as they have made you feel too, it could just be a reaction or an expression about your difference that they don't really mean or not as bad as they had conveyed..

Hey I kinda miss you guys.. And I miss my aspie very much too..
I hope you are all well.. And yeah, in case you guys have any questions, you could ask here, I'll try to help and answer. You could also answer other questions that you have a good understanding of, and there others who could add answers to your questions too.. I miss talking to you guys.. Hope to see you..

Hello Nico

Ok here's another one for you. It might be difficult for you to answer that one because you're a guy.

My question is: what is supposed to be so interesting about what they call "girlie talk"? I've always felt out of place with a group of women (same with girls when I was younger) when their conversation is about a bunch of stuff like their hairstyle, the boyfriend's clothes, and any other boring subject lol and they are all giggling about it.

Note that I may discuss any of those subjects occasionally but not in a group, like if I need an advice or someone asks me about something, but I just don't see what is so interesting about it nor how it can be a fun group activity.

Well anyway I usually feel more or less out of place in a group, but its just the worse, a bunch of girls talking about supposedly "girl stuff", I can space out for the whole conversation lol. Nothing bores me more then a Tupperware party for example, or a "wedding shower" party - I got one of those before my wedding, I know my sisters-in-law meant well but they unintentionally chose a really good way to torture me lol, I was sitting there not knowing what the h*** I was supposed to do.

lol! hi here Shadi! Well girl talk, maybe its just also not in your personality to get in to girl talk. Females like it just like males like boy talks. Its this shallow trivial conversations or the important, serious, conversations based on their gender interest and concerns. It's just like this forum, we or you guys talk of those that each may understand more than could be elsewhere. People choose to have these talks or appreciate it because they get to discuss what they normally couldn't elsewhere, voice out or let out what they just couldn't easily in a group they are actually in. And sometimes these talks could be entertaining as it could be away to escape the hard realities or heavy concerns that people have, some sort of distraction..

And it could be fun and nice to hear different takes and opinion on the subject presented. With these talks like the one you said, its not so serious but a light hearted one, you talk about interests similar to the group who would understand your point of view on the matter talked about, and that's where their focus would be - on the small semi-unimportant stuffs not on the serious part of their consciousness.. Maybe it's not just your thing or a kind of conversation you'd like to have, but you shouldn't really pressure yourself to participate, if it's not your thing then they should respect it and appreciate your presence there, and maybe when you're less pressured and less uninterested you might find somewhere in your thoughts something you could add to their girl talk maybe even start your own topic, who knows, you're still a girl, it's girl talk after all..
Does that help? As you know myself esteem or confidence is quite fleeting lately..

Hello! I'm a girl NT, and I can definitely say that I find "girl talk" to be incredibly boring and silly. You are so not alone with feeling out of place in those kinds of situations. I pick clothing styles that I like when I have to go shopping, but I don't understand the need to talk about that kind of thing excessively with friends. It's not fun for me at all. I mean really, all the possible conversation topics in the universe, and they keep going back to the least interesting ones over and over again: boyfriends, clothes, makeup, gossip, etc. When I get stuck in conversations of that kind, I try to look interested, but I really just kind of switch off and think about other things. I think this is just a personality thing, rather than an aspie thing, because there are loads of NTs who feel just as frustrated with superficial conversation of that kind. Hope this helps!

haha its nitce to see that I am not the only one feeling like this! it just seems all the girls I have ever known, whether at work, family, or at school, were all into that sort of thing. And YES Nico and seaspoon, it is definitely not in my personality. Its always been a torture for me every time my ex was doing a guys activity and I had to be stuck with the girls and listen to this, and the best diapers etc too for the ones who just had babies lol ... and the Tupperware parties (my ex sisters-in-law were into that too) ... omg soooo incredibly boring

Thank you both for the replies

That is true, like what I've been telling you guys, it also relies very much on personality, disposition and choices and amount of knowledge, and also reason as to why the girl talk is taking place. Thanks seaspoon.. nice to see you and of you to share.. But girl talk are really usually about those stuff.

So you guys could stick to your interest and do not change what you wouldn't want to change just to conform to a popular majority, because everyone does that (stick to their interest), so you shouldn't let go of yours.. But it is also nice to take part if willing and able to just get along with everyone, try to focus on the intention behind, like most probably to bond with you; and bonding does not always require a full attention conversation, presence enough is good. Who also knows that maybe in a girl talk a topic of your interest might come up. Just try to enjoy where you are and if you really are certain that in that particular time you won't, then it's okay to just withdraw for your own comfort.

About the "Girl Talk", I think this goes back eons to tribal needs also. Okay, I'm a scientist, and a logical Aspie (and yes, Spock HAS been my knick-name at more than one job), but I prefer simple explanations.

The women bond together as they need each other during childbirth, and child raising. Look at primitive societies, men hunt in a group, women usually work the fields, or weave baskets. They often grind grain and sit together in a central location to cook or do other tasks. Groups provide protection. This behavior is inherited genetically. Even though it is no longer necessary in modern society. People needed each other more when it was just them against nature, no technology.

I'm 53, BTW, so I can't tell you how many "tupperware" parties I've sat through, LOL! Pampered Chef parties aren't bad, I actually like that stuff. But most of the time I can't think of ONE thing to contribute [to the conversation]. However, just listening gave me information about schools and teachers and kids the same age as mine. Some of that was very valuable. Now-a-days our talk is about aging parents and nursing homes. Luckily I made some firends that are into real estate so during pinochle games we talk house values. That IS one of my obsessions.

If they are talking hair and clothes, I assume you are still in the husband-getting stage. Wait until you need someone to watch your kids while you run to the store, or borrow that cup of sugar from, then you will be looking around wondering which neighbor you might best approach. Making friends with one is practical.

Even in the husband-getting stage, I believe I read that going out in a group is practical. The group attracts the attention of prospective mates who think, "Maybe there is one in that group for me?" It's all very basic, acutally. Primitive even. It will probably take eons to evolve away from it, if we ever do. Although Sci-Fi authors like to portray alien civilizations as having left these "feelings" behind.

I find a logical explanation of WHY the NT's are behaving this way makes it easier for me to go along with it. Sort of like studying a foreign culture.

Although I will admit not being able to remember ALL of this ALL the time. Crowds of people can still make me irrationally start to panic. I have to tell myself to calm down and keep walking and that I will get away from them eventually. In case you think I've got this all perfected, I don't! The other day in Kohl's there were so many holiday shoppers I couldn't turn down any empty aisle, and suddenly felt like Temple Grandin in the movie where she is facing the automatic door. But I got a grip on myself and didn't RUN.

I'd ask the NT community why they are able to engage in casual sex while those in the AS community don't usually.

(P.S. Sorry if the question was a bit R-rated, but it's been burning a hole in my heart).

Oh my god! That's a hard and big one! No pun intended.. Well, It is! I'm pretty sure I need help and/or supplements on this one.. But I do have to know what you mean by "why they are able to" Do you mean why they are able to in their conscious or why they are able to in their ways/methods? Or you're asking both?

It's okay it's R - rated and Hi Northeastern292!