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Are my parents wrong to tell me to go to my room since Im 34

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Donald Morton
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03 Dec 2018, 12:09 pm

Fnord wrote:
If you're looking for agreement, then skip this post.

You live in your parents' house. They make the rules. You should respect them. Yelling at them is offensive. Sending you to your room is a defensive act. Ergo, you were wrong and they were right.

If you don't want your parents to send you to your room, then either stop yelling at them or move out and get a place of your own.

Yes, it's just that simple.



Indeed............their home, their rules.


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Redxk
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03 Dec 2018, 3:16 pm

My wife and I live with my mother-in-law in my mother-in-law's house (long story), but my wife actually tells her mother to go to her room if she is disturbing the peace/making life difficult for others. You've got to think about the peace for the majority.



Donald Morton
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03 Dec 2018, 4:52 pm

Redxk wrote:
My wife and I live with my mother-in-law in my mother-in-law's house (long story), but my wife actually tells her mother to go to her room if she is disturbing the peace/making life difficult for others. You've got to think about the peace for the majority.



These questions are rhetorical. They do not justify disrespecting her in her own home.

Are you and your wife care-givers for your mother-in-law with a health condition?
Are you and your wife making sacrifices living in her home?
Are you and your wife helping her financially for medications, food, or mortgage?


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Redxk
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04 Dec 2018, 8:01 am

Donald Morton wrote:
Redxk wrote:
My wife and I live with my mother-in-law in my mother-in-law's house (long story), but my wife actually tells her mother to go to her room if she is disturbing the peace/making life difficult for others. You've got to think about the peace for the majority.



These questions are rhetorical. They do not justify disrespecting her in her own home.

Are you and your wife care-givers for your mother-in-law with a health condition?
Are you and your wife making sacrifices living in her home?
Are you and your wife helping her financially for medications, food, or mortgage?


I should clarify: My mother-in-law would be the first to admit that she's tough to live with and needs breaks. She has never been treated with disrespect. The answer to all three questions is yes, very much so. Moreover, my wife sends me to my room, too, when she senses I need it. My point is, no matter how old you are you sometimes need to step back from others in a living situation, for a variety of reasons, and you may not always realize it yourself.



Donald Morton
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04 Dec 2018, 9:42 am

Redxk wrote:
Donald Morton wrote:
Redxk wrote:
My wife and I live with my mother-in-law in my mother-in-law's house (long story), but my wife actually tells her mother to go to her room if she is disturbing the peace/making life difficult for others. You've got to think about the peace for the majority.



These questions are rhetorical. They do not justify disrespecting her in her own home.

Are you and your wife care-givers for your mother-in-law with a health condition?
Are you and your wife making sacrifices living in her home?
Are you and your wife helping her financially for medications, food, or mortgage?


I should clarify: My mother-in-law would be the first to admit that she's tough to live with and needs breaks. She has never been treated with disrespect. The answer to all three questions is yes, very much so. Moreover, my wife sends me to my room, too, when she senses I need it. My point is, no matter how old you are you sometimes need to step back from others in a living situation, for a variety of reasons, and you may not always realize it yourself.




Point taken.

Apologies for getting my undies in a bundle over this. Sometimes the asperger's just takes control.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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05 Dec 2018, 12:31 am

neptunekh wrote:
I get furious and yell at parents alot. I'm almost 35 and I'm wondering is it wrong for them to tell me to go to my room? I'm basiclly 35 for god's sake and I just because I live at home they don't need to tell me to do that. I also get really pissed off when my brother who visits sometimes tells me the same thing. It's wrong to impose on me I think.

Either stop the behaviour they object to, do as you're told, or move out. If you want to live by your own rules, get your own house. Otherwise, don't complain about being disciplined like a child if you're going to act like a child and live at home like a child.



Aspie19828
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05 Dec 2018, 12:39 am

It is sad when a grown adult in his/her 20s or 30s or 40s is still having their parents tell him/her what to do. Over protective parenting cripples the social development of adults and prevents them from living fulfilling independent lives and embracing freedom.



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05 Dec 2018, 4:03 am

Aspie19828 wrote:
It is sad when a grown adult in his/her 20s or 30s or 40s is still having their parents tell him/her what to do. Over protective parenting cripples the social development of adults and prevents them from living fulfilling independent lives and embracing freedom.

It's not about overprotective parenting. OP was displaying behaviours that her parents didn't appreciate, so she was sent to her room. She should count herself lucky that they didn't tell her to move out instead.



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07 Dec 2018, 12:53 pm

neptunekh wrote:
I get furious and yell at parents alot. I'm almost 35 and I'm wondering is it wrong for them to tell me to go to my room? I'm basiclly 35 for god's sake and I just because I live at home they don't need to tell me to do that. I also get really pissed off when my brother who visits sometimes tells me the same thing. It's wrong to impose on me I think.



Maybe that is why? They don't want to be yelled at and deal with your attitude so they tell you to go to your room. Perhaps if you stop yelling at them and getting furious, they won't tell you to go to your room anymore. It's their house. They could tell you to move out and kick you out because you are an adult.


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07 Dec 2018, 4:40 pm

without reading the thread:
Your age has no bearing on the matter. Inside a home, the mother has the final say. She is assumed to be a benign dictator, and is not subject to qualifying tests or moral codes. (In China, they write "trouble" as two women under one roof.) Your parents are probably wishing they had their whole house back. If you yelled in mine, your "room" would be outside forever.



neptunekh
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07 Dec 2018, 7:52 pm

Everything is fine in my house now. I have nothing more to say.



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07 Dec 2018, 8:34 pm

Glad to hear it. :)



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07 Dec 2018, 8:38 pm

neptunekh wrote:
Everything is fine in my house now. I have nothing more to say.


I am very glad to hear it


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neptunekh
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07 Dec 2018, 8:47 pm

Thanks, kiddo.