Other people saying you're not on the spectrum

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TheHaywire
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12 Nov 2009, 3:13 am

I get told that since I'm a performer/writer/artist with a wide network of friends/supporters/enemies that I'm not on the spectrum. That everyone on the spectrum is shy and withdrawn. I also get told that I'm not on the spectrum because I understand sarcasm. I don't understand the sarcasm of others but I can be quite sarcastic myself. Do I "understand sarcasm" because I know how to be sarcastic? Are the masses not familiar with aspie's being extroverted? Have I somehow beaten the odds by becoming well-known as opposed to shy and withdrawn? I've been tested and diagnosed. I'm sick of the masses accusing me of lying when I tell them I'm on the spectrum because they think every aspie is supposed to be shy/withdrawn/monotone.

What do other people here do to combat social stereotyping that leads to us being accused of lying about our condition? I guess the only choice is not to care but it still bothers me.



X_Parasite
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12 Nov 2009, 3:58 am

Wait... People on the spectrum can't possibly understand sarcasm? Odd...
Conversations between me and an aspie friend of mine always include sarcasm from both sides. Every time. Without fail.

But surely you know yourself better than any diagnostic criteria, and common people likely aren't even familiar with that.


Also, I'm not shy and withdrawn, I'm quiet and reserved!



BruceCM
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12 Nov 2009, 5:17 am

The diagnostic criteria are guidelines more than absolute rules. People with Asperger's have difficulties with communication & relationships, etc but it sounds like you're high-functioning & these people don't know much about it. Not that I know a lot about it myself but I know there's a range & that it affects each of us differently. :lol:



Lara13
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12 Nov 2009, 6:15 am

I'm a social worker, have some great friends and do almost everything quite normally. I don't tell many people that I'm autistic (high functioning) but when I do they don't always believe me. I find it hurtful because they don't realise that although I work and talk to people and do what they do, the world still does feel very different for me.



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12 Nov 2009, 7:03 am

TheHaywire wrote:
I get told that since I'm a performer/writer/artist with a wide network of friends/supporters/enemies that I'm not on the spectrum. That everyone on the spectrum is shy and withdrawn. I also get told that I'm not on the spectrum because I understand sarcasm. I don't understand the sarcasm of others but I can be quite sarcastic myself. Do I "understand sarcasm" because I know how to be sarcastic? Are the masses not familiar with aspie's being extroverted? Have I somehow beaten the odds by becoming well-known as opposed to shy and withdrawn? I've been tested and diagnosed. I'm sick of the masses accusing me of lying when I tell them I'm on the spectrum because they think every aspie is supposed to be shy/withdrawn/monotone.

What do other people here do to combat social stereotyping that leads to us being accused of lying about our condition? I guess the only choice is not to care but it still bothers me.


I had someone tell me, in a nutshell "don't label yourself and getting tested to know for sure is a lifetime of trouble".

Anyways, the sarcastic thing, people have to be very clear on their sarcasm with me, so if you're talking in a normal voice about how much you hate doing something, but the person was being sarcastic in their mind, it flies over me as serious. Unless that person uses "sarcsm" tone if you know what I mean, then I understand it.


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CockneyRebel
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12 Nov 2009, 7:39 am

I have people tell me this, all the time. They tell my that I can't possibly be on the spectrum, because I'm well spoken, I work and I have friends. They also tell me that I don't look autistic. Now, how is an autistic person supposed to look?


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CerebralDreamer
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12 Nov 2009, 7:44 am

It's an ingrained method of dealing with their world that causes this perception. It worked great in the jungle, but in modern society it does nothing more than show them for the ass they are. This is why I dislike most NTs.



BruceCM
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12 Nov 2009, 7:48 am

It's certainly a lot easier to tell if there's a fairly clear tone. Then, of course, there's supposed to be 3 basic types of sarcasm. One where it's done humorously, one where it's in expressing feelings & the one where it's done to hurt the recipient. :)