What's it like to be normal?

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I've read heaps of books on autism, saying what it's like to be autistic but what is it like to be normal? All these books are explaining autism to normal people but I've never seen a book explaining normality to autistic people. Can anyone explain this to me? Thanks

That's a great idea for a book...i wish there was someone to explain it as well.

I think they're all different. Pretty stressed (GFC etc.), occasionally depressed/ happy. I don't really know any normal people very well. They're generally only one of OCD OR depressed OR sick etc etc, if unwell. They're busy and take time to relax at the weekend. They watch crappy reality tv shows and buy s**t. They don't think about stuff, but generally believe stuff - like the hippy types will believe in climate change but the business types won't. They have dinner parties, go out and take drugs, hang out, talk s**t, play sport. Spend half their lives on the phone if they're not doing something - cooking, working, cleaning, reading... They look forward to their next holiday. They all have their own issues but it doesn't generally dominate any aspect of their lives. They seem to be fairly well balanced in terms of different activities and hobbies. They love their kids. They look after their family. They talk about football, politics or religion or art or people they know. They care, but not enough to let anything disrupt their own plans and lives. They need comfort and r&r because the modern world is such a fast paced pressure cooker place. They think they're modern and can't believe their hairstyle in the 90's. They cry about breakups but not because they just heard a sad song that reminded them of something. They don't remember everything. They organise things that happen to them in their mind so that it's not one big mess, it's a cohesive structured story. Or is that just me?!

Be happy that you're different enough to realize you're not normal.

There is no such thing as normal honey. Everyone, even NTs feel different and have their own issues to deal with. 'Normal' is a socially approved median in the middle of a behavioral bell curve that is impossible to define.

Merdienne I find what you've posted pretty interesting. True everyones different but I'm just confused as to why they're so different to us. Like how do they see the hidden rules of socialising which to us are clearly hidden. Why are they always in a hurry to get things done yet when they get it done they're tired and sit down whereas it would be a lot better to go at an even pace and then not be tired. Why are they always so stressed out and going hard core at things (Then again so am I but that's because there's always fights at home, like right now. God I wish I had ear plugs right now). Cactus I agree I'm happy I'm different and love to be different. I just wanna know how and why.

You probably mean what is it like NOT to be AS which is not the same question as; what is it like to be 'normal'

Not being AS is to be not significantly socially impaired. NTs know how to initiate a conversation (or how to smoothly join in one that is already in progress)

I imagine if you asked an NT what is was 'like' to be able to do this, she or he may not have an answer and consider the question quite strange.

I don't know what it is 'like' being good with numbers because I have never NOT been good with numbers.

A person without physical handicap might have difficulty explaining what it is like being able to walk.


I am not sure if there is such a thing as a 'normal' NT as they can very varing degrees of personal success and varying degrees of personal failure, emotional problems and mental illness.

Behavior Thanks. I understand there's no normal so I guess I phrased it wrong. What I meant was Neurotypical

I don't know. I guess everyone could do with some training in meditation - doing one thing at a time, slowing down. They're not different like that, everyone gets stressed, but when they get stressed, they chat to take a break, they don't have to go home to be relaxed. It doesn't sound like your home is so relaxing though! You'll find a place. Maybe do you duck out to the library or somewhere else quiet, or at least somewhere like a cafe where you can tune everything else out - and take a book or the paper or your laptop or a pen and blank paper? They don't get so upset by sensory stuff. Some don't need a quiet place.
I don't know why they can read people. I think you can learn it a bit, but they just know. Like whatever you are particularly good at, most other people aren't, not in the same way, whereas most people seem to be good at people stuff, though some more than others. I think of it as a talent. That I don't have. But unfortunately have to learn, to navigate in the world. People aren't very nice to you if you don't behave. I don't know why - I know for a fact loads of very sociable chatty witty people are NOT nice, good people. So it goes without saying for me, that you don't have to be friendly to be a good person. Though the buddhist type saying 'how can you not be kind, when life is so difficult' is hard to follow when you don't actually have ANY clue that you've crossed some invisible social line (and people won't tell you, they just won't like you, because they know it, so why don't you, so they think you are actively being rude) Bah we're all the same really haha. Everyone thinks others should be like themselves, or see things the way they do.

I consider myself neurotypical.

Maybe if you gave a random scenario, you can write what you would do/how you would react in the situation and I can do the same. Our responses will reflect our similarities or differences and might indicate how it is to be neurotypical.

And I most certainly am looking forward to my upcoming holiday.

Yes I do mean to not have AS or be NT as is the common term on this site. I have tried asking an NT what it's like for her and she didn't know how to reply, thought it strange and said "I don't really have anything to compare it to". So yeah that's what an NT has to say. I understand what you mean a norm never being able to explain what it's like not to have something but it's a lot easier to explain having something.

Now to reply to meridienne's most recent comment.

Yeah I know everyone gets stressed but some people learn to not let it bug them. I have somewhat but I more lock it away as it builds up rather than letting it out. Locking it away helps but sometimes I just feel the build up inside of me and think I should get rid of it but don't have enough time. So far I've found a few things I really enjoy. School ok but I go solo during class and a few friends outside but some of them aren't that good either (can't be stuffed going into details atm). Home is alright except when Nana Lynettes home (works about 8am til 4pm Mon-Thurs). She gets in her moods and punishes everyone else. My happy places are choir which is one and a half hours a week and youth group, about 2-4 hours, twice a week. I could sing out of home and I love doing it in the car but if I sing at home I'll be told to be quiet cus everyones tired and grumpy. My grandparents don't actually believe I'm an Aspie despite the fact that I've been diagnosed, they believe I have regular autism and are ignorant to it so I can't use that as an excuse. Invisble social lines, those are bloody tricky, I've worked out some unspoken rules but most are still prertty blank in my eyes so yeah. I gotta find a happy place, I have a black out space in my mind, I do nothing but think, can't see, can't hear etc it's just that deep. I'll try and find a happy place I can go to but as I said, youth groups a big one. Glens my main idol there, he's pretty cool. Gotta go now, it's 20 minutes early but cus nana and gdad are going to bed I magically have to, I hate it. I'm 14 and sometimes are here home alone for Gods sake. Well best be off, bye.

Asking an NT what it's like to be an NT is like asking them what's like to be them because it is them. Some people have asked me what it's like to have AS and god that is complicated to answer because I have no idea. It's me.

your asking a website specificly for autistic people what its like to be normal, how would we know?

Hehe... Hear hear!

and funny
i think MsBehaviour also raised a very good point and in that context it might be also worth noting that the 'approved median' is also in constant move p
some say this movement also accelerate
meaning the curve has a curve of it own,or which which ever shape it is that mark the movment of the bell itself to indicate the passing of generations
what some people call trends
the Y generation has quite different bell than that of the X and the X bell is different from the baby boomers or the biblical times bell
AS probably belong to a curve of their own and by comparing us to the 'normals' we might get it shape
i think it's a good curve though it placed us out of touch with current or any other generation and from my experience our difference mainly revolve around different sense of time and space and consequently different perception of the relation between the individual and the society

i used to and still get very upset from the normals never really getting out of the way to in order to help or there lack of attention and was getting myself into a lot of trouble and pains when i did get out of the way to notice and help so i tend to think our bell curve is ok and in some way society as a whole will get it eventually
in many ways our senses make more sense or better attached to a real sense of time
at least that what i feel