Fear of my Aspie Behavior Ruining My Life

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So I just realized that the fear of being discovered as an Aspie is ruining my life. I consider myself a fairly high-functional and capable Aspie, having a successful college career and holding an internship with a PR firm. However, I realize I am not taking leadership positions I would like to because I am afraid my social skillls will fail me. For instance, I am afraid to run for a leadership position at a student club because I am afraid my social skills are inadequate, leading others to question my mental health.

Maybe I am placing too much importance on this, but I feel others can tell I am an Aspie simply by my social skills, even if I never tell them of my neurology. Is this an irrational fear? If yes, am I too obsessed over what others think of my neurology? If no, can I truly be persecuted based on my neurology? I just want answers for myself so that I can get rid of this burden, and act around others the way I would interact with human beings I wasn’t afraid of.

Why be ashamed judging by your post you've come a long way, but I do sorta feel you on the matters of fear of xenophobes. My grandfather always told me that "When you begin apologizing for being yourself thats when it becomes wrong". I wish you luck in your career

Hey, there's nothing wrong with being an aspie. I wouldn't mind having a boss or leader who's an aspie as long as they do their job properly and treat everybody with respect. I think you should run for leadership positions as long as you feel up to the job. It doesn't hurt to try. You don't have to have perfect social skills to be an excellent leader.

Act confidently and do the job to the best of your ability, and it will help.
I used to be a manager, and when I started a couple of jobs, I naively thought how wonderfully polite everyone was. It was a while before I realised that because I now had this title, a lot of people just naturally became that bit more obsequious than with someone without that title. Lol.

From the other responses, this may be an unpopular opinion.. but AS will make things like running for a leadership position very difficult, at the very least. I don't know exactly what your diagnostic situation is, I see that you are diagnosed, but I think that some of the higher-functioning people who are diagnosed as children, boys especially, end up overcoming a lot of those problems both from growing up and from learning the skills that they didn't have a naturally. But if you don't have actual social deficits that do interfere with your life, then you don't have AS, do you? You can learn to make up for those problems, but social and leadership roles are still going to be very challenging.

There was a time that I thought my social problems were caused more by anxiety and insecurity than actual deficiencies, but when I acted on that, and ignored my fears, it ended up blowing up in my face because I do have real problems.

If you feel that you've gotten to the point that it's your fears and not your actual AS that's in the way, perhaps you've managed to outgrow AS as an actual disorder?