Did your parents make you do things on your own?

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League_Girl
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13 Mar 2010, 9:23 am

As a teen my mom used to make me do things on my own like order my own food, buy my own things because she wanted me to learn to do it on my own and get over the shyness of doing it. She didn't want to do it for me every time.

Now I am glad she did it because I have no issues doing these things.



Elementary_Physics
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13 Mar 2010, 10:47 am

It think I just naturally began wanted to do things on my own. It's not that my parents made me, but that I had to because they weren't around. My Father worked from 6AM to 1AM every day when I was a kid - There was no Mom in the picture so I ended up having to do the cooking, cleaning, and being the supreme dictator over the kids. Got used to it, it wasn't half bad when I started learning how it works.
So I guess I am glad, because when I have my own family (maybe) I'll know how to handle things.



jc6chan
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13 Mar 2010, 10:54 am

I was shy to go to the store to buy bread on my own because I was always short for my age and I found it embarrassing to look like a kid walking into a convenient store. Not sure why I thought like that because I do see kids going to convenient stores to buy things.



Elementary_Physics
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13 Mar 2010, 10:55 am

jc6chan wrote:
I was shy to go to the store to buy bread on my own because I was always short for my age and I found it embarrassing to look like a kid walking into a convenient store. Not sure why I thought like that because I do see kids going to convenient stores to buy things.


Ugh. Going to the store is STILL awkward for me.



DavidM
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13 Mar 2010, 10:57 am

I love my local store because they have self-checkout counters. You literally swipe your stuff into the machine, bag it, and pay by card - without ever having to deal with a cashier or any other person.

This is at Tesco Express. It is a marvellous concept :D



emmasma
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13 Mar 2010, 11:16 am

DavidM wrote:
I love my local store because they have self-checkout counters. You literally swipe your stuff into the machine, bag it, and pay by card - without ever having to deal with a cashier or any other person.

This is at Tesco Express. It is a marvellous concept :D


meijer has that to! I love it!

My mom always did my things for me and it was difficult getting to do things in the world with being terrified to talk on the phone, make appointments, order food exc...



League_Girl
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13 Mar 2010, 11:22 am

emmasma wrote:
DavidM wrote:
I love my local store because they have self-checkout counters. You literally swipe your stuff into the machine, bag it, and pay by card - without ever having to deal with a cashier or any other person.

This is at Tesco Express. It is a marvellous concept :D


meijer has that to! I love it!

My mom always did my things for me and it was difficult getting to do things in the world with being terrified to talk on the phone, make appointments, order food exc...



That's why my mom made me do things on my own and she help me.

I think it's important for all parents to try and have their aspie kids do things on their own before they become adults. That's what being a kid is all about. Learning to be independent. Even two year olds try and do things on their own such as they might not want any help holding a cup as they are drinking out of it. They want to do it themselves. My brother was like that.



anbuend
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13 Mar 2010, 11:39 am

I was taught to do things on my own and preferred it but those things mostly didn't 'take' in the long term.


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CockneyRebel
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13 Mar 2010, 11:43 am

I began to do those things on my own, naturally. I've started to make my own doctor's appointments, when I was 16, something that my NT sister is still afraid to do. Everybody's different.


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IdahoRose
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13 Mar 2010, 1:09 pm

I do some things on my own, such as ordering food and talking on the phone, but my mom still does most things for me. She's rather protective of me.



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13 Mar 2010, 1:11 pm

Not very often. But I typically only have issues when buying stuff for myself & with eye contact or meeting people I know in the stores (HATE BULL... small talk :twisted: )


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ASgirl
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13 Mar 2010, 2:21 pm

i am the opposite. My mother used to (and still does actually) make me go to family gatherings and egg me on to play with/talk to my relatives. She was so concerned at one point that she made me join the Brownie (girl scout for younger children). She believes that practice makes perfect but doesn't realise that doing to much socialising actually made me more scared of people!



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13 Mar 2010, 3:07 pm

The internet is wonderful. Everything can be delivered directly to your home with no human interaction needed.

That said, I like to buy my own groceries and eat in restaurants.


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Willard
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13 Mar 2010, 3:24 pm

ASgirl wrote:
She was so concerned at one point that she made me join the Brownie (girl scout for younger children).


:D My mother recently confessed to me that that was why she insisted that I join Cub Scouts as a kid (probably also why my folks pushed me to play Little League Baseball even though I hated it). But by her own admission, even when she dragged me to the meetings and group activities, I'd end up in a corner doing my own thing while everyone else participated. In Little League, I got hit by the ball more often that the ball got hit by me. I think 'walking' was the only way I ever got on base. :roll:

They always pushed me to do things for myself, sometimes it took and sometimes it didn't. When it didn't, I would just do without whatever it was I needed, rather than ask for help and admit to weakness. And that's just how I am to this day. I'll gratefully accept help if its offered, but I can't bring myself to ask for it. Lately its a problem because there are several public assistance programs I need to sign up for but I'm overwhelmed by the idea of facing the bureaucratic drones and the questions and the paperwork, but the closest thing to assistance I've been offered is a ride to the government offices. I can drive myself, dammit, I need help with the process. :evil: :?



bethaniej
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13 Mar 2010, 3:24 pm

It's funny, my daughter and I are polar opposites in this category. My Mom used to make me go order for myself and get her tea refills at fast food restaurants because I was dreadfully shy. It was terrifying and awful, but like you, I'm glad she did this because I didn't really have a natural instinct for doing these things for myself. However, my daughter asks for exactly what she wants from anyone....including strangers. she's got no qualms or sense of 'shame'? It's such an odd thing for me to watch...I am sometimes impressed and other times really embarrassed.



jc6chan
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13 Mar 2010, 3:51 pm

Peko wrote:
Not very often. But I typically only have issues when buying stuff for myself & with eye contact or meeting people I know in the stores (HATE BULL... small talk :twisted: )

Technically there is no need for eye contact with people at the stores. You just need to look at the cash registar for the price and say "thank you" while you are putting the change away into your wallet so that it wouldn't look as weird and you actually have something to stare at (the money). Of course, it would be best to have eye contact as it is good manners.