An issue with a friend.

Post Reply New Topic

I don't want to say any names in case this person is a member of WP, but I want to ask something. My mom is friends with a lady whose son is 18, about a year and a half older than me. He was tested negative for Asperger's, but my mom tells me he most definitely has it or a similar disorder. He's been going to college for the 2009-2010 school year at an out-of-state college. I don't want to get into details because of what I said before, but my mom has found out that he take estrogen pills and is planning to become a women because he feels he is a woman trapped in a man's body. He's been taking estrogen pills for 1.5 years now and has boobs that resemble those of a women but he hides them from his parents. He wants to become a lesbian if he ever actually gets surgery to become a woman.

Now, my mom and me are wicked liberals. We don't discriminate. And If I ever became gay, my mom has told me that she would except me and think of me no less. But the problem is that people of his age shouldn't be using estrogen steroids unless they were prescribed. I believe you have to be 21. my mom is torn between telling the mother or letting him keep on taking the pills. She's afraid that he may be emotionally disturbed and if something happens to him and she didn't come out with the knowledge, she would put the blame on herself. I have noticed that many younger aspies are asexual or bisexually curious, and occasionally gay. I have noticed that it's a little bit more common with us In my opinion, no offense meant. But in the end, it eventually gets sorted out and it either boils down to being Heterosexual or homosexual, and the occasional asexual and bisexual. I myself went through a period were I thought I was gay because I didn't like girls yet and the other kids called me gay all the time so my ego began trying to convince me that I was even though I wasn't. I also am myself a bit asexual. I said it might just be nothing. But I have never seen what I call the homosexuality paradox. Where a person feels he/she is another sex but is still heterosexual.

The son is afraid of coming out of the closet, but his parents are very liberal. My mom says the father might be apprehensive, but she says the mother is so attached to the son that she'd still love him the same. But it might be the best thing to break it to the parents because the guy shouldn't be taking steroid pills without his parents knowing. What do you guys think?

This isn't an issue with sexuality but gender. Where is he getting estrogen from if it's not prescribed and his parents don't know? That's the only thing worth getting worried about. Hormones have different effects on the body and he should be seeing some sort of doctor, especially as he's young. If he's transgendered and comfortable with it, then I don't see why you should intrude in his personal life.

The son is 18, that is legally an adult and as such he can see a healthcare professional and be prescribed estrogen pills.
I would stay out of it. Outing someone is very wrong in my opinion. The son should decide when it is right from him to tell his parents that he wishes to live as a woman. No one has the right to do it for him.

those are transgender issues, sexual preference is a separate issue from gender. I think his age is what matters, legally he's an adult. They have no real control over what he is doing, but they could use other means to try and influence his behavior like refusing to contribute to his education, which wouldn't do anyone any good. Whether he is trans or not he needs an education in this world. If he is growing breasts eventually they are going to notice. I wouldn't advise prying. The issues your mom has sound a bit codependent.

I think that the son should do what he wants, with his body, and that his mother shouldn't pry. After all, he is 18. Maybe you should advise the boy's mum to go easy on him, if she breaks the news, that she's found out about the pills.

Me and my mom are really more concerned with the pills rather than him being transgender. I told my mom that they would eventually notice, but I think the pills is an issue. He is still very much dependent on his parents, so much that it's like he isn't an adult when he really should be. From what my mom knows, you need to be living as a woman for ten years before either taking estrogen pills or having a transgender operation. He hasn't because that would mean he would have decided at 8 which is very, very highly improbable. He didn't express that he thought he was a girl at that age. The other problem is that he began taking the pills when he was 17. No doctor can prescribe anything without the parents knowing. How did he get it? I don't believe in breaking news of homosexuality to parents, but this is a serious issue.

I believe they want you to live in chosen gender for a year before sex reassignment surgery. I have never heard a number like ten years but I haven't researched it. During that time, people are doing things like taking hormones and altering their appearance in other ways. Please absorb that this is transgender and not homosexuality you are talking about. I am gay and have never taken hormones, etc. If you can get on here and post about this you and your mom can get on google and find more accurate information. I think your mom needs to seek a professional opinion before she does anything. There are organizations out there who advocate for transgender youth who can advise her (I don't mean she needs to name the friend that is doing this, I mean she needs advice on what if any interference in this she should have). Since the kid is a legal adult the logical thing to do would be to approach them about it. It doesn't matter what age they started taking the pills, they are of majority now. Okay, after three minutes of hard work, here is some information:
-------------------------

Before a patient can begin hormone therapy or breast surgery, a mental health professional must write a letter of recommendation to the physician providing medical treatment.

In addition to the letter, the World Professional Association for Transgender Health's Standards of Care require several eligibility and readiness criteria for hormone therapy. A patient must:

1. Be 18 years of age
2. Understand what hormones can and cannot do medically and understand their social benefits and risks
3. Have either a minimum of three months of psychotherapy or a documented three month real-life experience
4. Show stable or improved mental health
5. Demonstrate ability to take hormones in a responsible manner [source: WPATH Standards of Care].

After a patient meets these criteria and undergoes a basic physical examination, a physician will then prescribe hormones.

Androgens are given to biological females transitioning to male. Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone-blocking agents are given to biological males transitioning to female. Hormones are taken orally, by injection or transdermally (a patch).

Hormone Therapy Side Effects

Biological males undergoing hormone treatment can expect, among other changes, breast growth, decrease in body hair, redistribution of body fat, decreased fertility and testicular size and less frequent and firm erections. Most of these changes are reversible if hormone therapy is stopped. The negative side effects include, but are not limited to: an increased risk for blood clots, weight gain, infertility, liver disease and hypertension.

Biological females undergoing hormone treatment can expect, among other changes, an increase in facial hair, body hair and male pattern baldness, weight gain, increased sexual interest, clitoral enlargement and a deepening voice. The negative side effects include, but are not limited to: infertility, acne, increased risk of cardiovascular disease and the increased potential of benign and malignant liver tumors [source: WPATH Standards of Care].

The Real-Life Experience immerses the individual into life as his or her preferred gender. The candidate is required to maintain full or part-time employment (or attend school full or part-time), legally change his or her first name to one that is gender appropriate and prove that people other than the therapist and doctor know his or her desired gender.

After 12 months of continuous and successful hormone therapy and Real-Life Experience, the individual is eligible for genital surgery. Two letters of recommendation, usually one from the mental health professional and one from the hormone-prescribing physician, are required for surgery. The patient chooses a surgeon -- a gynecologist, urologist, plastic surgeon or general surgeon -- to join the gender reassignment team.

http://health.howstuffworks.com/gender- ... nment2.htm

I don't know anything about that link per se, it's embedded material so if you follow it you might have to scroll forward or back to find that text. I have to tell you that it really bothers me that your mom is contemplating interfering in this kid's life but she's not willing to take a few minutes to find accurate information on this. He can get a scrip if he hasn't got one, and he most likely will...you guys are at most putting up a speed bump. Tell your mom to talk to a professional, without naming the kid, and hopefully they will help guide her.