caught rehearsing

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don't know about you guys, but I often rehearse what I'm going to say to somebody before I do it. Try and map out the several possible ways I'd like the conversation to go.

What I do hate is getting caught rehearsing. For some reason, I vocalize, or subvocalize (at best) the conversations. Usually I make sure I'm alone. But sometimes someone is watching and I don't always know it.

Which I've always had trouble explaining.

I rehearse a lot, but never aloud. Have you tried to practice it only in your thoughts? I never get caught

My parents caught me rehearsing, a long time, ago. They presumed that I was talking to myself, and the told me to stop.

i rehearse every night in bed before actually falling asleep. it's fun most of the time too. it helps me drift off.

Ugh, yes. As a kid, I didn't have privacy and I wanted it so very much... my mom didn't have any sense of privacy; and my stepdad picked up on my love of it and would punish me by taking bedroom and/or bathroom doors off the hinges. My mom, though, was just kind of oblivious. She just didn't realize how important it was to me, and figured, "Hey, I changed your diapers; I should be able to walk into your room whenever I like." Dad, on the other hand, used it as a deliberate torture.

I learned very early on that the only true privacy you ever get is in your own head.

I have been caught rehearsing too- not out loud, though. My lips will move sometimes if I really get into it and block everything else out. I got to a point where I didn't care if people caught me because they already knew I was weird. If they asked what I was doing I would just say I was going over something in my head. I never really got any bad reactions from anyone either.

One time (when I was in my early twenties) I was so overwhelmed with my thoughts that I got up and started pacing about talking to myself a little out loud (but quietly) in my office. When I caught myself I was so shocked that I had actually done this in public. I asked the other guy who worked with me in the office if I was talking out loud. Well, no worries because the guy had fallen asleep in his corner desk. He was one of those who could sneak in a nap without detection. So we just kept each other's secret.

That really made me start being more careful about my stimming (didn't know that word at the time either) in general and some of my odd behaviors. After getting a bit older and having my daughter I really stopped worrying much and caring what people thought because no matter how hard I try to hide stuff, people still think I am "different" or eccentric. Becoming a mother shifted my priorities too.

Edit for spelling and clarity-what a rambling mess!

Yes I rehearse a hell of a lot and practice conversations in my head that could happen, and I sometimes get caught mouthing whatever it is I'm saying in my head.

All the time before I actually head outside the door. I get caught rehearsing and they ask me, are you talking to yourself.
My usual response would be.... *blank*

Am I supposed to do this in private only?

oops.